Friends who have watched our family struggle with our daughter Joselin say that with time she will come back to the family. With time things will get better. True, I am not mad a Joselin now like I was when Larissa first started disclosing things. However, I realize that it is not possible for her to live in our home. I forgive what Joselin has done to our family but I will not allow it to happen again.
So much has happened and been said in the last few weeks that I realize that my attempts to help Joselin were just that, mine. I turned a blind eye to some of the things she did because I truly believed that she could heal, grow and flourish in our home if just given enough time, love and patience. Honestly, I don't think that in the future she will come back to us and if she does I would imagine it would be because she wants something from us.....not a relationship. Yes, it saddens me.
Friday my foster teens GAL called to talk to her. The GAL asked K how things were going, how she liked living here. K said that she loves living here, that it is a great home to live in. K says this to other folks as well. Her words are not empty, said just please, we can tell that she is genuinely happy to be here. Her whole demeanor shows it. We are happy that she feels that our home is a great place for her to heal, grow and flourish.
It struck me Joselin never said that she liked living here. She never thought that our home was a great place to live in. She never seemed happy here. She never accepted living here.
The little ones have not asked about her, no one discusses her unless something is missing and they wonder if it got stolen by Joselin. Sometimes I feel saddness that the daughter we wanted was not to be. Every day I pray that she can find what makes her happy, to find a place where she feels she belongs. However, some part of me feels that she is never going to be able to find that place. Too much was taken from her those 10 years before she came home. Too much pain that she can't overcome. It is all out of my hands now. Please pray for her.