Sunday, January 27, 2013

I am Mad

Michelle is finally getting top teeth!  I am not sure if I will recognize her when she finally has top teeth.  I am not sure when she lost them but I do know that she had them pulled.  She was in so many other homes it is hard for me to know when they were pulled. 
The delay in completing the adoption is very much noticed by Michelle.  Every time a worker comes to the house Emma runs off to play.  Michelle does not.  She sits and listens to everything we have to say.  I know that she has learned to do this in the past because of so many moves.  She doesn't want to be caught unaware.  There is still a part of her that is afraid of being moved, she admits it.
We discussed the blotched case and the delay.  I discussed this with her as soon as I found out so it wasn't new to her.  She wants and needs to be informed of her case.  After the social worker left Michelle asked me again what it all meant.  Why was there a delay.  I told her that they didn't do the TPR right the first time so they have to do it again.
Her response, "I am mad."  Yea, me too.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Felmel's Creations

Attempting to keep up with two blogs.  Hmmmm.....I barely keep up with one!

Saturday, January 19, 2013


A friend gave Anthony a hat....he loves it.  He is very much into dressing up and likes his clothing.

We attend a church where casual dress is the norm....but Anthony prefers a tie.
(Waiting to be seated at our favorite restaurant)
Anthony tired out a dance class last week.  He really didn't want to because according to him, "dance is for girls."  I asked him to try it one time to see what he thought. 
I wanted him to try it because he is not a rough and tumble type of boy.  He didn't do well at soccer because he wasn't aggressive at it.  He was always outside of the pack watching all the other kids play.  He said he wanted to do basketball but I know how that will end too. 
I said try hip hop dance class with Larissa one time.
He did.....he came out grinning.  He loved it.  They did the moonwalk and some other moves.  He wanted to know when he could get some shoes. 
I knew that he would.  He is very artistic.  I think that he would love modeling if we were in the right area for that.  He likes his clothing a certain way.  When he gets older I plan on encouraging band.
Yes, he will be tall, probably folks will think he should be in basketball because of that. I have already had adults ask me why he doesn't do sports.
Our challenge will be allowing him to do what he loves without the teasing from boys. It is a shame when children who don't follow the path of the "norm" are picked on.  I am not sure how long I will be able to keep him in dance.  If kids find out and start picking on him I know that he will want to quit regardless of whether he loves it or not. 
There are days when I totally understand the homeschooling thing.  It takes kids out of the environment where they have to fit a certain mold or endure teasing.  We are still trying to convince Larissa that she isn't fat and I don't understand that one at all.  Why would anyone tell her that she is fat?  Then there is the hair issue.  Ugh, I won't get started on that issue.
So.......anyone else have a boy who isn't the rough and tumble type? 
What type of activities do you have them in? 

Tuesday, January 15, 2013


Curious as to why we are having another TPR?  It is because they did not publish for the last one.  Someone didn't do their job.  This just frustrates me so much.  It isn't as though there is a battle for TPR.  No biological family is fighting for the girls.  Anyone what really had an interest has signed off their rights so that the girls could have permanency.  No family will be at the next TPR trial, none came to the last one.  There is no reason at all that we are in 2013 and still fighting for permanency except for one fine point, the legal team is not doing their job in a timely manner.

Today I went to the state DSS office.  The security guard didn't know what to do with me.  Apparently not many folks come up to the office personally to complain, it is all done by phone.  I talked to several people on the phone in the lobby.  They tried to tell me that they would call me.  I refused.  I said that I was in the lobby to file a complaint and would sit and wait.  Finally I was able to talk to an advocate.  He told me that the head of the legal team was in the building today and he was going to talk to him.  He didn't understand why we had TPR in November and are just now realizing that it hadn't been published.  I explained how slow the lawyer is to act on everything.  He wants the case to be expedited after the TPR.  That is what we want.  I realize that they have to publish and do TPR again.  But, I don't want to wait for months after the TPR for the lawyer to file once again.  I don't want to get the clearance letter in June.  I know that there is a 30 day waiting period and that is what I want.  I told him that the main parties that are harmed by the actions of DSS are the children themselves.  That they need permanency.  He gave me all of his contact information and told me he would do what he can.  Honestly at this point I don't expect much.

Monday, January 14, 2013


We are not happy here in South Carolina.  We thought that we were waiting for a clearance letter for the girls.  The biodad has signed off, the mom has signed off and TPR was completed for the legal dad.  Yesterday we got a letter in the mail from DSS.  This letter was informing us of a TPR hearing for in March!  TPR for the FATHER'S ONLY.  Yes, it had father's only in bold print.  No name.  How many fathers do the girls have?  I am assuming that they are TPRing against any other possible father.  Uh, shouldn't that have been done when they TPR'd on the legal dad?  Why now?

So, April is not going to happen.  Now I am guessing August.  It will not happen before the school year is up.  It will not happen before our planned adoption celebration Disney trip in June.  At this time I can only hope it will happen in 2013. 

We are not happy.  I feel as though DSS has done more harm to these girls than their parents did.  All the moves and then all the delays.  We are in 2013 and still no permanency is in sight.  We had planned on redoing our homestudy in June and looking to adopt again.  We were concerned that they would close our file after the girls were adopted and we would have to redo a lot of stuff.  Well, no concerns there, we will still be active foster parents in June.

I would love to take the kids to the lawyer and have her explain to the girls why they are not adopted yet.  Instead, I am going to the state DSS directors office after I get out of class tomorrow.  I am not going to complain over the phone, I am going in person.  I have dusted off my suit and found my high heels.  I will talk to someone.  I don't expect that any changes will be made for our case or otherwise.  I just feel that my girls need to have a voice.  They are not just case files but girls who need permanency.

This is just crazy. 

Friday, January 11, 2013

Long Term Community Health Care

Many months ago I applied for help with my mom.  We were put on a waiting list.  In the mean time I hired someone to come on Tuesday and Thursday mornings to give me a break. 

A short time ago my mom started to decline.  She could no longer stand and rotate so I got physical therapy to come in and work with her.  They worked with her and when she did not make any improvement then they had to sign off.  Their parting words were to put her in a nursing home. 

Just when I was thinking that I needed to put her in a nursing home Long Term Community Health Care called and said that we had come up on the list for services.  They will be provide diapers, pads, wipes and someone to come into the home Monday through Friday for a few hours.  They will start on the 15th.  I start student teaching on the 15th.  Kind of funny how that worked out!

Although things are covered for now I realize that it is time to find a home for my mom.  She is getting to hard to transfer.  The other day I was transferring her and she picked up her legs!  She was about 170 lbs of dead weight.  I am afraid that one day I will drop her.  At this time I am the only one in the house who can transfer her safely.

So, I am starting to look for a place.  I am not sure when I will move her but I am pretty sure it is within the next few months.  Hard decision to make but I think that it is the right one at this time.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Friday, January 4, 2013

Back to School

 Christmas break went very well.  There were fights, lying and typical kid behavior but there was also a lot of playing together.  I huge improvement over last Christmas break. (LOL, see Anthony in the background?  He was told not to kick those balls in the house, no denying it this time!)
Larissa got some new books and processed them into her library.  I have to say that the books have been taken care of much better since the library entered our home.  I would suggest having a library in every home. 

I realized today that we do not have a checkerboard in the house.  We received a bunch of poker chips and the kids made up their own checkerboard. 

Shhh....everyone is playing and there is no noise.  That doesn't happen often.

Apparently cats like IPad's too.....
All the kids started back to school on Thursday and I start back on the 11th.  I start student teaching on the 15th and life around here will get very crazy.  I am dreading it in some ways and looking forward to it in other ways.  I just worry how things will go with me being gone during the day.  I am sure that it will be fine, the house will probably survive.  It just means that most of my free time will be gone.  Will I be as patient when I have no down time?  I hope so.
Today my moms case manager came over.....more on my mom tomorrow. 

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Where have I been? Painting, painting and more painting!

I have a friend who decided to open a consignment store. She asked me for some animal print furniture. So...... my dining room became a total mess.

Leopard print dresser....


Zebra print dresser....

Then, since I have so much free time on my hands (just a little sarcasm) I took on the task of fixing and painting some of the furniture that she was buying.  I am really enjoying doing this for her.  I have a week until I start student teaching so I am trying to finish as many projects as possible.
A work in progress...

Now I have been asked for my business card (which I don't have) and have some jobs lined up.  Tomorrow I meet with one person to get a piece of furniture for painting.  I think that life just might get a little interesting around here.  I wish I had just a few more hours in the day.

Tomorrow, a kids post.