Friday, October 7, 2011

Got a Call

This morning I received a call from adoptions.  Apparently a few weeks ago a SW emailed out requesting homestudies of families for two girls she is looking to place.  Our homestudy was sent in.  Today our SW received a call wanting to know if we were still available since it shows in the system that we have two foster kids. So, I received a call today asking me about the foster kids.  I explained that the teenager is staying, possibly until she ages out but that the two year old is supposed to leave in the next week or so.  If she is retained longer she will probably move to where her siblings are.

In our state we can have 5 kids under the age of 18 in the home (for foster care). We have gotten permission from the state to go over by one before.  Sarah will turn 18 in November and that will put our openings up to 2 (Anthony, Larissa and our teen would be the only ones under 18).

The worker was also concerned about the number of kids we have altogether, not just in the home.  Hahaha, our SW said that they all prove our experience with parenting.   Some of our children are rather challenging and those challenges are written into our homestudy.

The two girls are ages 5 and 6.  According to their psychological they are very defiant and angry.  I believe that the younger one has some pretty severe attachment issues (although the psych report doesn't say it that way).  They have been in care for 3 years and still do not have TPR, although apparently it is pretty imminent.  I don't know why but in South Carolina it can take about 3 years to get TPR.

Three years of visiting is so hard on kids.....I know from experience.  One thing we did do was stick with our foster kids.  We were Anthony's second placement.  Oh, there were days when we wanted to call and have him moved.  We didn't because we knew what type of damage that would cause him.  Oh, the tantrums, destruction, acting out behaviors he had were awful.  No one wanted to do respite for us because he was so hard to parent.

Well, these girls have had 6 different placements.  That tells me how difficult they are.  It also tells me that no one has stuck with them when they acted out.  Maybe the behaviors are that bad.  Maybe I will find out and maybe I won't.  We did ask to be considered.  I feel that the girls are still young enough that they have a chance.  We do have experience dealing with this.  If they come to our home they will have every opportunity to heal.  We will give them security, love and consistency.  We will find them therapy.  I have done that before for some of our children.  Sometimes it helps the healing, sometimes it doesn't.  But I feel strongly that because some do not heal it doesn't mean that the next hurt child shouldn't be given the opportunity.

Later in the day we received another call asking us to not take any more foster kids.  I had to laugh because we are full so taking more foster kids is not an option.  Apparently tomorrow they are going to start looking through their homestudies to make placement.  It should be interesting.  This process is all new to me. 

1 comment:

  1. It's a lot to think about. Praying if you are the perfect family for them, then they will be placed with you.