Friday, July 21, 2017

Topsy Turvy

Well, the girls are not going to be as short term as we were told. I know, not a big surprise in the foster care world. In one brief meeting and their case exploded and became a totally different case. Yes, it went topsy turvy. It is not unusual for this to happen. Many of the kids we adopted were supposed to be short term; Anthony, Larissa, Benjamin and even Kassi were all short term placements.

These girls have extended family so it is a wait and see as to where they may go. They moved from out of state so they may become another transfer case like our Itty Bitty. In the meantime I am working on trying to get the 5 year old enrolled in school without a birth certificate because they don't have one. Always something new.

I am also trying to get the girls a wardrobe and I am struggling. Cost isn't the issue, although a consideration, shorts are the problem. Both girls wear the same size shorts and for school they must go beyond their fingertips. So, no short shorts. Folks, at this time of the year that is a challenge. Seems like the longer, Bermuda shorts cost more than the short shorts. If I find them as a reasonable price I haven't been able to find them in their size. Ah, the challenge of finding modest clothing for girls.

A first for us, the 5 year old lost her first tooth. We were at the orthodontist and he gave her a $2 bill and a plastic tooth container to put her tooth in. We did the tooth fairy thing and I have the tooth. I guess I am supposed to get that to their mother somehow. First time we have had a foster kid lose their first tooth while at our house. I don't know what their family traditions are for that so we just went with ours.

Itty Bitty is doing well and no changes in his case. We are playing the waiting game with him as he is attaching to us. He is getting where he cries when other people pick him up. He is such a sweet baby and gets lots of loving. He is trying hard to roll over, his arm gets in the way. So fun to watch the growth.

Paw Patrol

Late posting this, before hair cut activity, haha

Benjamin and I went to a Paw Patrol show together. I had bought the tickets months ago because he is crazy for PawPatrol. I enjoyed spending some one on one time with him. We had to drive to Augusta and he did great. He has never been one to fall asleep in the car so he kept me company driving there and coming home late.

It was actually a good show. He was very much involved in it.

He was a very enthusiastic cheer leader.

He enjoyed meeting some of the characters.

Anyone else with a Paw Patrol fan?

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Elder Care

My mom has been on my mind a lot lately. My mom is slowly declining. I know that she will not get any better. I am well aware of her health and condition. I am at the point where I am not sure what to do because I don't know what the impact will be on Benjamin. He has a very close relationship with my mom. He goes into her room and helps to take care of her. They very much love each other.

After her last hospital visit her doctor wanted to put her in hospice care so that she didn't have to go through that experience again. The pain and procedures are not what she would want. I ended up not putting her in hospice because she would lose her caregiver.

Her doctor said that if she got sick again to not call an ambulance but to contact her to put her in hospice care. She said she would do a house visit to do that. However, I worry that my kids would perceive that as me not taking care of my mom. Would they think I am killing her?

My expectation has been that she would stay home until she passed away. Now that Benjamin is older he goes into her room without me being aware of it. What if she passes and he goes in and is the one that finds that. I think he would believe that she is sleeping. How would my other kids react to grandma dying in the house?

Am I overthinking this? Will I be causing extra hurt to my kids? Anyone else deal with this?

Eating My Words

I know, I said we were taking local kids from now on. That was our intention.

My husband and I sit down when we have an opening and discuss what we will say yes to. That way when they call if they hit what we have discussed then I can say yes immediately. If it is out of our parameters then I can say no easier.  We discussed it and decided that we really wanted some kids ages 4-6, we felt that might be a good fit. We find the 2-3 year old kiddos really disrupt Benjamin.

We received a call for two kids ages 1 and 2. Young 1 and 2. I said no, they were local kids too. I very much dislike saying no but young 1 and 2 would be too much.

Next we received a call for two girls ages 4 and 5. Within our age parameters but not local. Actually further away than the last kids. We don't transport so I decided to forego the local limit and go with the age group we agreed on. I did ask them if they were sure that they couldn't find a closer placement. They said that we were the closest foster family that would take two kids. Two hours away!  Two hours later they were at our door.

We were told that this will actually be a very short term placement. There is no drugs involvement and from what they tell me I tend to agree. They are fitting in great. Benjamin plays well with them and they are loving all our toys.

If things happen quickly I was told that they could possibly go home at the 72 hour hearing.  That means Monday. If they go home you get no clothing allowance. That is why it is good to garage shop throughout the year and have some clothing available. I got rid of all my stocks of clothing and miss them! The girls came with a basket of clothing, most of it useless at this time. On the top were winter coats. What is up with the winter clothing? There were about 5 t-shirts and the rest was winter clothing and boy clothing. I asked if they had a brother and they said no. I got the impression that this was their clothing. I need to ask on Monday. Most of it I repacked and put away to send back. I then went shopping for a few outfits. They didn't have any pj's or shorts. If they stay past the 72 hour hearing then we will get the $100 placement clothing allowance.

If this is really a short term placement I will be curious to see what short term is. The 5 year old will start kindergarten next month and I hate that she will have to transfer school. That is a disadvantage of placing out of county.

So, yes, I am eating my words.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Boys and their Toys

I am still decluttering. Actually I had to take a break but I am back at it while I am able to get into closets. I took some bags to Goodwill and stepped in because you never know what kind of bargain you can find. Oh, I know, what good is it to purge if you go inside and get more!

Benjamin saw a big wheel. He wanted it so badly. It looked too big to me, I didn't think his feet would reach the pedals so I thought I was safe in telling him he could get it if he could get it to go.  Silly me.

He also found a helmet while riding around. The total was under $10 .

Yes, it is sitting inside our house. 

Jason just had to try out the new ride. He had something similar many years ago.

He offered to show Benjamin how to "peel out" in our dining room.

I don't think that boys ever really grow up, their toys just get bigger and more expensive.

Monday, July 10, 2017

Hair cut

I got out the clippers to cut hair. My plan was to trim Benjamin's hair since it was getting so long and hot. Well, he wanted it all shaved off. Yes, he knew what that meant. Yes, he loves it. No, I had no idea that I would make so many women upset with me! 

I am pretty sure it will grow back. It should still be orange although he wants it to grow back in blue.

Since we had a hairless head to work with (and I must say he has a nice shaped head) we decided to have some fun. I looked up airbender with Benjamin and he wanted to do it so I got our my blue marker.......


Jason copied this pose and submitted it to Reddit and asked for some photoshopping.

We had a lot of fun with it and he has a fun memory. His arrow came off in the pool later in the day. I kind of liked it, added character.


The kids left on Friday. Our home is strangely silent. On Saturday all of us sat around almost as though we didn't know what to do with ourselves. It isn't often that we have kids moved. It is a very hard decision for our family but is something that we all discuss and understand the reasons.

Later in the afternoon I decided that we needed to get out. We didn't do much spontaneous trips while the kids were here. I went to take a shower, yes that bad of a day, and told everyone to get around, we were going out for dinner. We went to Mod Pizza and had a very nice time.

Afterwards we went to Target for a few things and then back home. Life is so much simpler with just the extra Itty Bitty. Is it strange that simpler is only 6 kids in the house?

Wednesday, July 5, 2017


Well, Itty will be with us a while longer. Grandmother in state did not pass the homestudy so now they are looking at a grandmother out of state. Apparently they don't work with the state he will be going to too often and they are telling us that it could be anywhere between 6 and 12 months before he moves. He could be more than a year old and then move out of state into a home with someone he has never met. Honestly, that sucks. We love it when our foster kids can go to family but it shouldn't take so long if it is a good placement. Paperwork, ugh. The older he gets the harder it will be for him.

Our other two are getting moved Friday. Little man was supposed to go to a home that can devote more time to him and all the services he will need. That home wanted his sister as well and we can't blame them, we like to keep siblings together when possible ourselves. They asked if the foster mom could call me to prepare for them. I said of course and she did call.

She was asking me some questions that led me to ask if she had been fostering long. Nope, this is her first placement. Ugh. It is hard to express the challenges she will have with this little one. When you say if his feet touches the ground he runs, then people think that is normal toddler behavior. I took him to the doctors in an umbrella stroller. He pushed against the straps holding him in so hard that he got it loose enough that he could stand. He couldn't run because of the attached stroller. The doctor was watching him and said that he needs to always be in a stroller or buy a harness for him. I learned to have him in a stroller because of his hearing appointment. By time I left the office I was drenched in sweat. He doesn't want held and is constantly pushing against you and making his dissatisfied sounds. If you let him down he is gone, fast, and doesn't stop or look back. If someone opens a door he is running out of it. It is scary and tiring to run full speed through doctor offices.

We are still waiting on an appointment for the autism screening but every person who deals with children and delays express their opinion that he is on the spectrum. When I say that he has no words I was told by the foster mom that she was told he had delays in language. Yes, his sister has delays in her language. She has language and it is delayed. He has no language, he does not have a single word he uses, he does not point or in any way communicate what he wants. He will screech to let you know that he wants something but he doesn't give you a clue as to what that is.

When I talk of the challenges I can tell that I am not believed. I am not sure if it is the way I am communicating it or if they think that I am exaggerating the problems. It is frustrating. I hate to think that they will be moved around a lot because no one is prepared for his behaviors. We really don't like that they are being moved but for our family it is best. We have a large family and have to balance the needs of our kids against the needs of the foster children. We are not a therapeutic home or a medical home. We are prepared to deal with normal delays in regards to neglect. We are prepared to deal with certain behaviors but there are some that we cannot tolerate, harming children and animals in our home is one of them. Our first rule is do no harm to our children in the home. I am at peace with this move but it has taken me a while. It is hard. These decisions are not made lightly. Pray for our little ones, all of them, they are dealing with the consequences of their parents bad decisions, addictions, in all our foster children in our home at this time....meth.

Tuesday, July 4, 2017


Where have I been? Busy, busy, busy. Tomorrow night, I will post. 

In the meantime can you spot the difference?