The Unexpected

When the girls came into our home 19 months ago our biggest challenge was Emma. Her hours long tantrums were too much for their previous adoptive placement. We were the 7th placement for the girls.

A little more than 6 months into their placement the tantrums started to decline and today are nonexistent.  She definitely had attachment issues but she was growing.  We could see change in her.

Our concern then became Michelle.  Her defiance, lying, anger and manipulative ways came to the forefront once the distractions of the tantrums from her sister dissipated.  Our therapist said that no improvements could be made until we had finalization. 

We hope that now that we have finalization that Michelle can learn some new positive behaviors.  We know this will take time.  The immediate reaction has been more testing.

Emma seemed oblivious to the adoption.  Not too long ago we were discussing the upcoming adoption and she said that she thought that she was already adopted.  We didn't expect that the adoption would have a big impact on her.

However..........

Her reaction to the adoption was immediate.  She has started to seek me out.  She wants to sit next to me and read to me.  She wants me to do her hair, help put on her shoes, help her with her swimsuit...things she has always done for herself.  We didn't expect this.  It is so apparent that everyone in the house sees the change.  It was so unexpected.  A good unexpected and I am loving it!



Today is dance recital day, I have to go and write out the dress rehearsal schedule and get girls hair ready.  So enjoy pictures from Emma's photo shoot day.

Next Up....Dance

Today was picture day for Anthony and Larissa. Thursday Emma has picture day.

I have a few outfit changes I need to make.  Those blue bands do not belong on the elbow and I think I will take in the straps a little to raise the outfit up higher on her chest.

I have three kids in 6 different dances so I will not be buying all the pictures.  It doesn't fit into my budget.

 

Someone told me that they loved Larissa's hairpiece because it looked so natural.  Well, guess what, it is.  I didn't buy her a hairpiece but I need to try and find one for Emma.  Most of the dances call for hairpieces.  Last year Larissa had to have a bun in one dance and I couldn't make hair changes quickly so she has a hairpiece.  I have no idea where it has gone to, at one time I recall seeing it on the floor and thought it looked like a rodent.

Anthony and Larissa are in two dances together.  I saved some money by having their picture taken together.  I wondered later if Anthony would have wanted one with just him in it.

Three hours later all pictures were taken and some practices were done.  I never realized that there were only two girls in Larissa's ballet class.  It should be interesting.  There are no ballet pictures because I didn't think to take any.  Thursday will be a light day with only two dances for Emma.  Saturday will be a very long day with dress rehearsal all day and recital at night. 

Then I have a week to prepare for Disney World.  Actually I am doing some prep.  I have someone who is going to stay at the house while we are gone and another person to come in in the evening to change my mom because the paid house sitter is not able to do the changes.  Going on vacation is very complicated when you have a mom to manage and 10 kids coming along.  No spontaneity there at all.

Adoption Day

 

We all gathered at the courthouse today.  We were told to be there at 9:30.  If you have ever been to family court around here you would know that means you will be seen before lunch.

 

Larissa and Emma share a special bond. 

 

They made their own entertainment and shared some laughs.

 

 

Emma had to be dragged over to get pictures with their social worker.

 

During every visit Michelle was always present.  She didn't want to miss anything. 

Emma tried her best to escape.

 

Michelle with her social worker and foster care GAL

The kids adoption GAL, lawyer and of course bored dad. 

 

We waited a little over an hour for our case to be heard.



 

The actual adoption took a few minutes. 

Michelle really wanted to go to Sumo's.  She remembered it from after Sarah's graduation.

 



 

Mmmmm, good food.  The meal starts with soup and salad.  Then the cook comes out to the table to cook in front of you.  Too much food.  It is completed with sherbet.

Kids portions aren't too kid size!

 



 

It was a good day.  After 19 months our adoptive placement girls are now ours. 

 

The End

Rough Day

It was a rough day at our house.  Larissa and K both started the day off crying.  I kept Larissa home for the second time this week.  She was complaining of a headache.  A short conversation with her psychiatrist and we are going to discontinue her new medication and see how she does this weekend.  She has had two days this week with terrible headaches.  Lay on the couch and cry or sleep type of headaches.

K, she cried for her family all day.  I mean all day.  Off and on all day.  I have not had a little one who cried so much before.  She wanted me to tell her that she was going home and I wasn't willing to say that.  I will not lie to the kids even if they are 3 and crying.  It was so painful to watch her grief.  I hope that tomorrow goes better for her.

One bright spot was the early morning call from the GAL.  Apparently he forgot and got a reminder yesterday.  He called before I started making phone calls and came at 4pm to see the girls.  We are a go for Monday.

Social workers....not so much luck.  I started calling at 8:30 and left messages.  Never could reach K's social worker.  I did reach another worker that I have dealt with in the past on her cell phone.  I told her that K needs to be with her sister.  She said that at this time her sister is in the hospital with pneumonia.  I said that after she gets out they need to be together.  She said they didn't have a home.  Ugh, if they don't go home soon this separation can do some serious damage to K.  That brought up the subject of medication for the nebulizer.  Our call was breaking up so the SW told me that when she got back to the office she would call me.  She also said that she would see if she could schedule a visit with the mom since K was so upset.  Well, I guess she never got back to the office because I haven't heard from her yet and it is after midnight.

Now we head into the weekend and still no doctor, information or anything.  I have no idea where this case is heading and if any family has come forward.  Yes, frustrating.

Do You Know

Do you know that your child cried for you last night

That your child doesn’t understand why she can’t go home

Do you know that your child is scared

She is scared because she doesn’t understand what is happening to her

Do you know that your choices in life have an effect on your child

That your child cries for you

Do you know that your child clings to your picture and cries for you

That I can only offer so much comfort for her pain

Do you know that you are the biggest thing in your child’s life

That she asks me if you miss her

Do you know that even when you pick drugs over your child that she still loves you

That she cries for you

 

Life Update

We did another Lowe's Build and Grow project. The kids really enjoy them and constantly nag frequently ask me when the next one is scheduled. 

All the kids have their own technique but I don't think that the "close your eyes and look away while pounding furiously" is the best technique out there.  However, I imagine a lot of folks use that technique.



 

 

June looks to be a fun month with Monster University projects.  They make a box at the end of June that looks real cool.

 

If you have a Lowe's nearby you should go check it out, it is free.

 

 

Larissa has developed a passion for Junie B. Jones books.  She reads them and then sits and tells me everything that Junie has done in the book.  Uh, sometimes I am not sure if it is the best series.  Many of the things that Junie does Larissa is apt to try or do.  The book about cutting hair hit a chord.  I hope that Larissa isn't studying them to get new ideas!

 

My dining room is coming along.  The painting is finished and I have a few more chairs to reupholster.  When I am finished I will post pictures.  However, I need ideas for my fireplace.  It is not too pretty looking.  Actually it is an eyesore but I can't decide what to do with it.  I am open to suggestions. (hint)

Anthony who is never sick decided that he wanted to add a new piece of equipment to our house by developing wheezing himself.  They sure make these nebulizers cuter than they were years ago.  Our doctors office told me that this style is very popular with the older ladies.

 



 

 

Looks like we will have an exciting weekend, K is sick with a fever and throwing up.  Nothing that warrants a doctor visit yet but a concern for me since we have an adoption on Monday and a Disney trip in two weeks.  I hope that everyone who decides to catch whatever she has times their sickness between the adoption and Disney.  I wonder if her sister is sick as well. 

 

Larissa is home today. She woke up crying so we forced her to stay home today. Yesterday she was great. I wonder if she is getting sick.  If she is then it won't be long before I get it, we are about to snuggle.

 

Today I have calls to make......

 

Please pray for us, we surely need it! 

Frustrated

Today I called DSS, several workers, several times.

K says she needs breathing treatments.  Well, hard to do without any medications to do it with.  If I had a doctor name I could call them myself. 

I reached.....no one.

Hopefully tomorrow I will have better luck.  I may just take a ride up there if I have to.  I may lose this placement because I am going to get forceful about her being placed with her sister.  Either they need to give us another exception or move her to a home where they can be placed together.  She cries for her sister.  She cries for her mom too.  I can't do anything about the mom but something can and should be done about her sister.

Our last placement was a split sibling group but the child didn't seem to care.  Actually worrisome in regards to attachment.  We have always taken sibling groups and I find that I don't like this split sibling thing. After Kassi turns 18 in June we will actually have one opening and I can broker that into two very easily to keep siblings together.

On another note.....Monday is our adoption.  Before we go to court the girls GAL who is appointed by our lawyer does a home visit and goes to court with his report.  Problem, we haven't heard from the GAL.  I called the lawyers office today and got to leave a voicemail.  I guess I will be calling that office tomorrow as well.....or visiting on the way to DSS.

It was a frustrating day.  I couldn't get anything accomplished because no one answers their phones anymore.  Arghhh