Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Mom's Home

I started my day with a call from the hospital. My moms hemoglobin was too low and they wanted permission to give her blood. Later in the afternoon they wanted permission to do a scope. At 6 pm (as I was getting ready to head to the hospital) they called to tell me to come and get her. Huh? My mom went from needing blood in the morning to coming home in the evening.

She was delighted to get out of there. I was happy to see all the IV's off of her arms. However, I am a little concerned. She needed blood on Friday and then again today and they can't tell me why. I hope that she doesn't need blood again in a few days because I am not sure how I would know.

Benjamin was asleep before my mom got home, I bet he will be excited to see her in the morning. Charlotte came by in the evening to make sure that my mom was settled in well. For now, the bedroom by the front door is once again filled.


Well, it happened, we decided that Benjamin needed a hair cut. He wasn't so sure about that and had to sit on my lap.

Suddenly he looks so much older! Ahhh questioning the hair cut.

However, after a little McDonalds he was fine with it.

He has been working on those eye brow expressions.

He is always a little helper and is big on the "me do" phase.

He has discovered that there are more flowers in the yard to bring to momma.

He continues to have car accidents in the house.

He discovered a critter that the cats brought in.

 His favorite person these days is his daddy. He wants all things blue because daddies car is blue. He is his little shadow.

He has discovered the pool slide and loves it. 

He is slowly adjusting to a baby in the house. The other day I was holding Noah and I said to him that Noah is Kassi's baby. Then I asked him who was my baby and he said Ben. He is now letting me hold the baby without issues.  He is missing my mom and Charlotte and goes to her bedroom to check and see if she is there. He has gone to the hospital a few times to see grandma.

He has quite and extensive vocabulary and is working on his colors and abc's. He enjoys going to toddler time at the library but still cries when I drop him off at the nursery. We are contemplating a preschool program for next year and are thinking about using a Montessori school. He seems to be growing up so fast!

Monday, May 30, 2016


My mom got sick. One morning she woke up throwing up. It wasn't too bad. We went on the liquid diet and monitored her urine output. That evening she kept down her fluids and we thought we were OK. The next afternoon she started throwing up again and her urine decreased so we called for an ambulance. They put her on an IV and said that her kidney function was bad. Her potassium level was too high. They sent off for cultures and suspected an UTI. My mom has had problems with UTI's and has been on a maintenance antibiotic to help prevent them.

The physicians assistant came in and asked me where my mom was getting her prescriptions. I told her the doctors name and she said that they had called them and she hadn't been seen since 2014! Well, that isn't true. She started yelling at me about my moms antibiotic and how ti destroys the kidneys and how have I kept her on it for years. Finally she mentioned the name of the antibiotic and I said she wasn't on that, she is on a maintenance antibiotic and I told her the name. She calmed down and said that their records said she was on the other. I told her that my mom hadn't been to the hospital in years and she last came for an UTI and she was put on the medication for 2 weeks. Once her UTI cleared up she was put on the maintenance antibiotics and it had worked great for her up until now. She totally changed her attitude and told me that we were taking great care of her skin. Geez, nothing like feeling like you are under attack for the care your mom receives. I am not sure how she thought I was getting these prescriptions for things like high blood pressure and antibiotics.

Then another person comes in and asked me if I want to put her in a nursing home. Every time she is in the hospital they ask me this. I don't think that we are ready. Every evening before I go to bed my thought is that I have to check on my mom, then I remember that she isn't here. Every time I come and go out the front door I pass her bedroom door, the bedroom is empty. It is so strange. Then we have such a connection with her caregiver. When I took Benjamin to the hospital to see my mom he asked where her caregiver Charlotte was. Charlotte came by to visit yesterday and Benjamin ran and hid from her. He was so upset that she hadn't been around. She has been in our home 5 days a week for his entire life. When my mom passes he will lose two people in his life. Charlotte will still be a family friend, but won't be here 5 days a week. With all the other changes in our house right now losing that stability isn't good.

I have been going daily to check on her and get updates. Slowly her kidney function is improving and she is expected to come home this week. She may have a catheter which will be another issue to deal with. The nurse said that she thinks that the hospital visits will start to increase and that she is on a decline. I believe that she has been on a decline for the last 6 months. In spite of that, we really aren't ready.

However, this experience has also showed me that I don't want my mom to be in pain. We work so hard to keep her skin in good condition and after just 2 days in the hospital her harms are tore up. She couldn't manage a major medical problem. She is not strong enough for that. When she does pass I don't want ti to be a long, painful process for her.

Watching your mom go through all of this really sucks.

Coming Home

Kassi and Noah have moved home. We are not sure for how long but they need to regroup.  Kassi's grandpa passes away a few months ago and her mother moved from Florida to live in his home. She invited Kassi to live with her. I really didn't think it would be a good idea. I really thought it would end is disaster. Her biomom has never put Kassi first, never sacrificed for her.

However, for Kassi it was an opportunity to have her mom be her mom. Needless to say, it didn't end well. Her mom offered her a place to stay and within a few weeks she wanted $25/day from her. Kassi didn't have that kind of income, she was waitressing. I wonder if her mom thought we would pay it. Kassi came out of that house without her car and with a lot of her belongings ruined. More painful, she came with the pain of feeling like her mom was just using her.

That pull of bios is always there. For some it is stronger than others. Larissa will sometimes ask me about her biomom. Emma and Michelle don't mention theirs at all. Anthony doesn't seem interested either. I wonder how that will change over the years.

So we fit in two more and then.....

Sunday, May 29, 2016


It has been a very tough, not so good week at our house. Last Saturday as we were getting ready for dress rehearsal for dance I got a call from Joselin. One of the calls where your child is sobbing. She just asked for me to pick her up. Jason and John offered to go get her but I said I would go, sounded like she needed her mom. I had no idea what had happened. I am actually glad that I didn't send one of the men, it might have been bad. The blood coming down the side of her face is only part of the damage.

I will be honest, I left out of the house so fast that I hadn't showered or even put on a bra. There I stood outside of their apartment in a screaming match with her boyfriend. He got up in my face and I so badly wanted to smack him (I didn't). He kept telling me that he didn't hit her then he went off on how stupid she is. Later she told me that he threw a TV at her face, dragged her around and shoved her into the wall. The bruises that slowly showed up showed where she had been pushed and shoved. He sent videos out to family and friends with him following her around talking about how he didn't lay his hands on her. In one she goes into her room and shuts the door. She told me that she put up a dresser to block him and he broke it shoving the door open. Of course he didn't send out those videos.

We have been trying to get Joselin out of this relationship. We do not like what he is doing to her. He constantly tells her that she is stupid, puts her down in many ways. He even messages me all this information and tells me what a bad mom I am because she is so stupid and I didn't teach her right because she doesn't cook and clean for him. She came from Guatemala at the age of 10 with no education. She now speaks English and is literate. Yes, she has a lot of gaps, but she has come such a long ways. She is bright. I dispised how he was lowering her self-esteem.

Along with that he made sure that they were never able to come home for family events. She made it to very few activities and she made those because Tasha picked her up. On top of the family isolation he tried to ensure that she lost her friends. If they were at their house, he would kick them out. He constantly attacked them and put them down. Tried to turn them against Joselin. He was trying to isolate her from every one while breaking her self-esteem. I recognize all the signs.

Joselin had left him before but he lured her back when he was about to get evicted and needed her money. We hadn't gotten all of her stuff out of his place so there was still that attachment. Well, this time we took care of that. While I was at dress rehersal Kim and friends went to get all of her stuff. Yes, truckers, bikers and generally tough looking people. They got everything and it is all sitting in my already overstuffed garage. Apparently they looked a little too tough as he pulled out his gun and sat there with it and accused me of sending gang members out to his house. I didn't even try to dispel that notion. He has only been to the outside of our house and has never gotten to know us so he has no clue that I don't know any gang members. I simply told him to stay away.

I hope that she does stay away. Her friends have come forward and are encouraging her to stay away as well. They have taken her to Myrtle Beach for bike week. I have some of her money that she has been giving me so hopefully we can find her a place of her own.


Monday, May 23, 2016

Dance 2016

This last week was all about pictures, practice and recital. It was a great week but I am glad it is over!

Larissa was in 5 dances and Anthony in one. This is Anthony's last year of dance, he wants to just do Boy Scouts next year. Emma says that she wants to do dance again next year. We will see, she says that after every recital then when the year begins and I tell her that if I go out and buy her all the shoes then she has to stick with it for the year she decides against signing up.

Larissa did a solo again this year. After the tears of last year I was happy that she wanted another go at it. I must say that she did great! She nailed it with her expressions and everything. It was such a relief for me because I knew how devestated she was last year with the errors she made. I had a friend come up to me and tell me it made her cry. I did too, this is the area in which she excels. Her learning issues and epilepsy are forgotten when she is on the dance floor.

We got to give Noah a little love.

We had some Joselin drama which I will do a different post on later.

The kids finish school this week and then we are on summer break. We have a few small vacations planned and hope to do some swimming soon, if the weather ever decides to actually be hot. It has been cool here then hot. I can't keep track of it.

Anyone else have end of year dance recitals?

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Recital Time

Our week, practice, pictures and more practice.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Love that Painting Toddler

Benjamin loves to paint. He gets to paint frequently since I use him as my toddler paint ideas guy in the studio. He has gotten more intentional in his paint, not just mixing it all together to make brwonish gray. Somedays he is right handed and other days he paints left handed.

I have a lot of pictures of him making his leaves. I just love those little fingers intentionally making their mark.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Rough Weekend

We had a rough weekend here! Start with an argument between my husband and I. As I was dividing all the marital assets other issues became more important. A pump in our washing machine split causing water to go everywhere because the pan/drainage system failed. 

Our laundry room is used as a closet for linens, off season clothing, donations and just about everything else. There was a lot of clothing sitting around and the water creeped everywhere.

I would love to be able to say that it is all put away but that is not the case. We have an extremely busy week this week so a lot of it is still waiting for me. I almost cancelled a dentist appointment to deal with it but realized that I had already rescheduled twice, I very much dislike the dentist.

So, how was your weekend?

Monday, May 16, 2016

Cut it off!

Larissa has a tender head. She also has a lot of very curly hair. As in a lot, her hair is very thick. It seems to have gotten thicker and curlier as she has gotten older. She does not like for me to do her hair. In tears she asked me to cut it. Really cut it, actually she was up for a shave job. She wants to be able to swim and have fun this summer without worrying about what it will do to her hair. She has already been swimming and I was about to do a major comb out.

I told her that I would cut it but that she had to get braid extensions for her dance recital. She agreed. It was so hard to cut all her beautiful hair off, but it is her hair. I worried that she would be upset once it was actually cut. Quite the opposite, she loved the freedom of it.


Did I say she had thick hair? I told this to her stylist. I warned her not to make the braids too small and not to add too much hair. She said that she understood and that it would take 6 hours. It took almost 10 hours....and guess what? She has thick hair.

If looks could kill, this is at the 6 hour mark and she was ready to shave it all off. I used bribery at this point.

Thankfully she was happy with the end result. She currently has a love/hate relationship with her hair. She likes that it doesn't tangle but she says it is heavy and itchy. After 2 days it has relaxed and no longer hurts her head. Will she do it again, perhaps.

For those who are curious, it cost $160 and I gave a $20 tip.

Anthony and I have been in a hair battle too. I told him that I was no longer going to cut his hair. I struggle to get the smooth fade that he likes. He has been to two local barber and didn't like either one of them. I said I wasn't cutting it and he said that I was. Hmmm. Out stand off lasted quite a while. I do believe that his hair was longer than Larissa's at this point. His hair is different than Larissa's, hers tangles easily at 2 inches, his does not.

Finally I took him into Columbia to a third barber. Ahhh, he liked this haircut and says he is willing to go back. Yay, he no longer looks like a neglected boy. So happy for boys, his cost $15.

Anyone else struggling with hair battles?