Wednesday, February 29, 2012

You Look Like you Belong Together

Today I took my teen to an appointment.  She is struggling in school and we are trying to figure out why since I believe that she has the ability to succeed.  We got there at 9 am and left at 1pm, long day.

The appointment went well and we did get some ideas as to what is going on.  At one point the doctor was talking about foster care and I mentioned that we were planning on adopting our teen.  This doctor is very familiar with us since he tested Anthony and Larissa.  He said that perhaps he should be testing me.  Ha, I already know I am crazy so no need.  Then he asked my teen what she thought about being adopted.  She told him that it would be fantastic.  He asked her three times and each time she told him yes, she wants us to adopt her.  He then said that things need to be moved quickly because of her age.  We know this.  He will put that into his report.

At the end my teen and I were teasing each other and the doctor said that we looked like we belonged together.  Funny what an impact those words can have.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012


Sometimes genetics just suck. There, I said it.  My kids come with some genetics that are challenging.  They were so challenging to their parents that they weren't able to parent.  It is not unusual for a mental illness to be self-medicated with illegal drugs.  It is not unusual for those mental illnesses to be handed down.  The way to break the cycle is to address the issue and help the child to learn how to deal with it.

For years we have been told that Anthony is bipolar.  We were first told this when he was only 4 and again when he was 7.  It was hard for us to believe.  Hard to tell what the real issue is when you are dealing with severe neglect and attachment issues.  First we started with the one ADHD med, it helped him to control himself.  Then two meds and finally three meds.  For awhile they helped him to control himself.

However, they no longer do that.  I noticed that some of his work was coming home with some strange answers.  We also found lots of unfinished work in his backpack.  I called his teacher to see what was up.  We found out that he isn't doing all his classwork in the class, is flat out telling them that he won't do the work. She said that he can be sweet one minute and very angry the next.  His moods switch quickly.  It would have been nice if his teacher would have called me to tell me his but for some reason she didn't.  Actually she seemed shocked when I said that it was unacceptable and to send his unfinished work home and he will finish it.

I think that I have to accept that we are not just dealing with ADHD.  I think that it is time to consider his genetics.  We were told that his sister would have a more severe case of bipolar.  Oh geez, what if he was right?  Now I just need to find someone who can help.  We haven't been able to find anyone when we searched before.  Doctors are willing to consider ADHD at this age but bipolar is so much harder.

Today I made calls, I am working on that issue.  Say a prayer for us as we head down this road.

A Calling

The president of our Foster Parent Association has opened a site which gives lots of information about foster care.  She has some videos of biological parents as well as foster parents.  If you are interested check out their site.,,,, Heartfelt Calling 

Please, go and listen to Christine's story.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Loss of Control

Today I thought that I had an appointment to take the teen to an appointment at a location that is an hour away.  I got everything lined up and off we went.  We got there just in time to be told that the appointment is on Wednesday.  Nice....well, not really!  I didn't make this appointment, the social worker did.  I still have the email, yep, today.  I was polite when I left a message with the SW letting her know that it was on Wednesday.  Apparently the place here the appointment is at wasn't so polite in their message to her.  That is the life of a foster parent, we don't always make the appointments but we need to get the kid there.

You often have no control over these types of issues.  Sometimes I have to stop and remember that these are not my children.  We get to care for these children in most ways but they are not ours. Every scratch and bump has to be reported.  With the two little ones I have been kind of slack on reporting.  I think it is because I can never get in touch with their social worker.  Dimples had a rug burn from day care on the bottom of her chin.  At the last visit the parents asked what happened and Lily said that she burned it on the stove top!  Yea, I got questions when I picked them up.  Uh, no her chin doesn't even reach the stove top.  Note to self:  email about every scratch from now on!

 I find it interesting that we are not allowed to cut foster children hair.  We get to deal with it but have no control over it.  For two years I corn-rowed Anthony's hair.  In our family boys had short hair so it went against my families beliefs.  Too bad, beyond your control.

Every month we have social workers visit our home, quarterly we have a licensing work come by, soon (hopefully) we will have adoption workers, we get to be fingerprinted, have annual SLED checks, health inspections of the home, and fire inspections.  If you have a need to control and privacy then foster care is not for you!

We do not have control over many things but neither do the children.  We at least know what we have signed up for and know that we have to accept it to continue to do what we do.  The kids have even less control then we do. 

So, I am off to study.  I had planned on doing that today at the appointment because I knew that it was one of those types of appointments where you sit around a lot.  Wednesday I get to take a road trip again!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Yep, we're related

Today Sarah and I were discussing recipe options for our left over ham.  Sarah says she is going to make a dessert and asks my mom what she wants.  Mom replies, "cake.........with lots of frosting!"  Yep, we're related.

Sarah and I are shopping at Walmart.  She wanted to buy something and I point out the price.  She looks and says that she isn't paying that much for it!  Yep, we're related.

I tell the teens that I am going to Goodwill to look around.  They get excited and come along to shop at Goodwill. Yep, we're related.

Somehow the conversation turns to defense of our home and Jason starts talking about where the kids would be safest and where the rest of us who can handle a weapon should stake ourselves I think....yep, we're related.

Every time I tell Tasha that she needs to get something done that she has procrastinated on......I know exactly where she got it.  Yep, we're related.

When John drops a piece of chocolate and declares 5 second rule.....yep, we're related.

What about you?  Do your kids do something and you think....yep, we're related.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

If you are wondering......

As I was tucking the kids in Dimples speaks up........."I gotta go potty!"

Life of a Mom

Me:  Geez, everyone is busy playing, watching TV, sleeping, etc.  No one needs me so now would be a good time to work on one of my many unfinished projects....

A short time later.......after I am deep into paint, spackle, or any other project that needs done......

Child 1:  MOMMM...

Child 2:  MOMMMM....

Child 3: MOMMMMM....

Child 4:  MOMMMMM....

Child 5:  MOMMMMMM.....

Child 6:  MOMMMMMMM....

Child 7:  MOMMMMMMMM......

House Phone:   RINGGG

Cell Phone (when I don't get to the house phone in time):  RINGGGG

My MOM:  Felicia.....

My Husband:  Dear......

Any everyone wonders why none of my projects get done!

Sometimes I Forget

There are days when I forget about Dimples massive hours long tantrums.  Then there are days when I am reminded of them!

Last night I caused a nice long tantrum.  How?  Silly me, I told her to go to the bathroom before going to bed.  Why would I do such a silly thing?  Because someone has been peeing on their pile of dirty laundry.  I know, silly me.  So we got to listen to her scream until she fell asleep. 

The injustice of it all!  Uh, do you make your kids go to the bathroom before heading to bed?  I really didn't think that the issue was tantrum worthy.  I mean, geez, if you want to have a tantrum at least make it worthwhile.  You know, over lost chocolate or Oreo.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

I even exhausted myself today

I really should be in bed. I had one of those days where I could use another one of me.

Today I:

Got 4 kids up and off to school.

Greeted my moms aid at 8 am, after she left I fed my mom and got her some coffee.

I worked on a project that I had to turn in by

Called the girls SW to see what if anything new is up (no) while doing a load of laundry.

Visited with mom, cleaned dishes, got mom to bed and took off to pick up kids for an appointment in the big city.

After taking Sarah, Anthony and Larissa to their appointment we ate lunch at Moe's since it was along the long as you take the back route.

Came home and got my mom up and fed her lunch.

Worked on my project that was due in a few hours.

Let mom's OT in and talked with him a bit to see how OT is going.

Called my local SW to get a contact number for a higher up to see why nothing has been filed within the 90 day period.

Called the high school about teens computer.

Went out and watched Larissa help Lily learn how to ride a two wheeler.  Got to push Lily around until I thought I might have a heart attack.  (Yes, shorts weather today, 78 degrees here)

Went in and check papers in backpacks.  Realized that I have a concern about Anthony so I called and reached his teacher.  Not good, but another story.

Fed the kids/mom a quick meal.....Ramen with eggs and hot dog.  Yea, I know.....but they got fed and they love it.  We were supposed to have cabbage soup but for some reason I never got around to making it.

Got Larissa dressed and ready for dance. 

Submitted my project...on time.

But mom in bed to watch TV per her request.

Took a microwave we had just bought to the car to return it later.  John and I dropped Larissa off at dance and ran to Lowe's to return the microwave and check on our one cabinet piece we ordered for our kitchen change.  We didn't want particle board so we had to special order a corner piece.  It came in and was huge but the guys found a way to stuff it in my car. 

Picked up dry cleaning.

Ran home and emptied the car (because we have to buy something from Lowe') Cleared a spot for the cabinet in the garage.

Got the kids in the car to get to dance to pick Larissa up.

Went from dance to the school where they were having a fund raiser and book fair.

They were selling the kids art projects framed for $20.  We got to buy three (Lily had one too)

Went to the book fair where the kids drove me crazy.  They wanted the $20 sticker books and I insisted on chapter books.  Anthony snuck in a hard cover book for a small fortune! Found books requested by each of our kids teachers and each kid got one book.  Tomorrow they will take their teachers their books.

Came home and fed Larissa again since she was starving after 1 1/2 hours of dance. 

Got the kids to bed.

I knew we were on our last gallon of milk so went to Walmart and bought Oreos.

Came home to upset teen because she fell on the stairs and hurt her knee.  Looks bruised so I told her to ice it.  I may need to make a doctor appointment tomorrow but it doesn't look worthy of an emergency room visit.

Now I am doing nothing.  My brain is fried and doesn't even know that it should head to bed.

Any how was your day?

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

For the Curious.....

No TPR date yet.  No movement at all.  However, the adoption worker did receive all of my snooping information with much interest (she didn't know about the arrests) and is going to call and pester the foster side about the TPR date.  The 90 days are long up, I think that it is time for me to go higher up.

$10 Roll of Paper

We bought a roll of contractors paper at Lowe' cost us $10. John used some for sensible things like putting it down before he cleans his weapons.

The kids and I had a little more fun with it.......

What would you do with a big roll of paper?  We have a lot left and are willing to try some new ideas.


Notice this door to the downstairs shower........too narrow for a wheelchair.

We paid someone to come and widen it (I don't have time to do it) and now we need to figure out how to take the door off and put a curtain up.  Then I need to buy a long shower chair so she can slide across and into the shower.  In the meantime an aid comes twice a week to bathe my mom in bed.  Hair is not so simple.

I was given this sample to try out.  You microwave it, put it on a massage it.  No rinsing needed.

It made her hair look nice for a day.  I don't know how much those cost but using it daily could get expensive.

So, we are back to the Hefty trash bag in the kitchen hair wash.  It does a good job and mom only gets a little wet!

(Ignore the kitchen mess.  You get a peep at my new kitchen color!)

Monday, February 20, 2012

I'll Miss You Mommie

What is the reality of a child who has had 8 moms in the last two years? (and bounced around before that as parents go in and out of jail) What do they think a family is?  Do they understand permanence?

For Lily I believe that is is that illusive thing that she has been denied.  She is very jealous of those who have it.  She knows that she wants it.  She just doesn't believe that she will really ever get it.

For Dimples.....well, lets just say she doesn't have a clue.  She wants everyone to "love" her and asks every day if we do.  But, she doesn't really know what love is that she is wanting.

Conversation of the day:

Dimples to Larissa:  Did you grow in mommies belly. (Dimples knows that Larissa is adopted, I guess she doesn't know what adopted means)

Larissa: No, I am adopted.

Me:  Larissa was a foster child in our home before she got adopted.

Larissa:  What!?!  I was a foster kid!?  (uhhh, I never realized that she didn't know that, I thought it had been discussed, maybe she didn't understand it when it was discussed)

After discussing Larissa's lifestory......

Dimples:  I am going to miss you mommie.

Me:  Why are you going to miss me?  You aren't going anywhere.

Dimples:  When I go to my adoptive family.

Me:  We are your adoptive family, you are staying here.

Dimples:  But you are our foster family.

Me:  Yes and your adoptive family.

Dimples:  huh?  (Mass confusion)

Me:  Sigh

Gift in the Mail

The girls got a gift in the mail from Kathy Cassel, they were pretty excited.  Kathy writes Christian based books.  The girls received books from her Just For Me group and they are appropriate for my girls....ages 5 and 6.  They put them in their Bible bags and take them to church with them. 

The books are filled out with some fun activities and readings.  Some discussions did come from the readings.  Lily was reading about families and the question came up in the book, "List three ways your parents care for you".  It was a good opening for us to discuss the role of good parents.

Her books are available on Amazon and here at  She also writes books for older children as well.  Kathy has also adopted children internationally and from foster care.  Go check out one of her blogs at Just4Girls .  She frequently has free book giveaways.

(Kathy remind me when I can post pictures of the girls and I will post the top picture with all the girls smiling, great picture that I can't share!)

Sunday, February 19, 2012


I admit it....I have been snooping.  I had a friend call me and tell me to check the news on my kids county.  That got me to snooping.  Both of their parents have been in jail in the last few weeks.....and a grandma too just to add to the excitement.  I did more snooping and found one picture of each girl from when they were quite a bit younger.  The pictures actually made me sad.  Sad that they didn't come into care at a younger age.  Pictures of running noses, sores, bruises and rotten teeth.  A lot is told in those two little pictures. 

I did some snooping for my teen too but didn't come upon any old sites with any baby pictures.  We take lots of pictures in our house so it is sad when we don't have the baby pictures.  I know that that always bothered Joselin. 

Besides snooping I have been studying.  I am only taking two classes but they seem to be two very time consuming classes.  I have a presentation this Wednesday and two lessons I need to do by Thursday.  I enjoy my classes but lately they have just been too time consuming.  I guess that if I didn't have any other obligations I wouldn't feel that way.

Yesterday I spent the entire day doing laundry.  Yep, laundry....and I continued today.....and I am still not done.  I had baskets of clothing sitting around that I had to go through.  It was one of those "it looks worse before it gets better" type of projects.

Still dealing with my mom and all of her therapy appointments.  It is going to be a long road to recovery and strength.  Our objective is to just get to the point where she can transition better.  She can take some steps with the walker but she is so weak that she can't get far.  The PT thinks that they just put her in a wheelchair since she was a fall risk and then they just left her there.  I wonder if she had another stroke at one point because her left side is a lot weaker then her right side, more then I ever recall it being.

I am off to bed.  The kids are out of school tomorrow so I need my energy!

I'll be back tomorrow to let everyone know how the kids are doing.  Have a great evening.

Friday, February 17, 2012


This week was visitation time again for the girls.  We had a new showed up.  After 6 months of no shows she came.  It is mighty convenient to just leave for that long and then show up as though you haven't done anything wrong.  Lily asked me all the time why she didn't come.  DSS told her because mom had car problems....yea, for 6 months.  Even Lily didn't buy it.

Do the parents have any idea how much they are messing with their kids when they do this?  Yet the kids are excited and forgiving.  They just want for their mom to love them and fight for them.  Funny how that works.  It doesn't matter how much bios abuse or neglect, the little ones want them anyways.

The end of visit was interesting.  The SW came out and asked me about Dimples chin.  She had a carpet burn from daycare that is about healed.  Apparently Lily told them she burned it on our stove!  Lily does that tattling but she also does the lying along with it.  Anything to get the attention.  Anyways I had to explain that it was a carpet burn.  I wonder if I should send a picture of Dimples standing next to the stove.....her chin cannot reach it unless she was standing on a chair.  We don't do chairs by the stove.

The girls received necklaces that mom wanted me to take from them and give back at next visit so they can wear them to the visit.  I did take them up.....but someone please remind me to take them on the next visit!

You would think that there would have been behavior issues after the visit.  That is actually normal for foster kids.  Halfway home the conversation changed from mom and dad to what candy they would share with Larissa.  (They received the usual overload of candy that many of our foster kids get on visits).  Very little mention of the visit since.  No behavior issues.  I am not sure what I make of that. 

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


Around 2 am here and I can't sleep.  This will not be good for tomorrow!  Regardless of whether I sleep or not the kids will need to get off to school and mom will need to be attended to.  I also have class tomorrow night. 

On one of my previous posts I received comments regarding how much I get done with my time.  Lately I have worried about my time.  Time has a way of getting away from me.  My kids are growing up and I worry that the days slip by too fast.  Today Larissa was reading me a page of her chapter book.  Sure, she didn't have any fluency but I can remember just a few months ago that she was struggling with her popcorn words so much that I worried that she may have a reading problem. 

She is about to lose her top teeth....where has my baby gone?  I wonder if she feels it too.  She wanted to be with us in church two Sundays ago and fell asleep in my lap.  Believe me, she has a specific way of folding into me or it couldn't be done.  I wonder how young she will be when she is taller then me.

Sarah is now 18 and will graduate this year.  She is looking at college and doing all the typical things attached with that.  Excited one day and then terrified the next.  I really don't recall giving her permission to grow up.  I know that they do that, I just don't like it.  Some part of me wants them under my roof and under my protection always.  Of course, I also want them to grow up and be prepared to launch.  Have families of their own.  Be productive members of society.  Be happy.

But sometimes I worry that in all my busyness I miss things.  Do I take the time I should with them?  Do I notice the things I should?  Do I spend as much time with them as I should?

Sometimes it is the other way around.  Do they notice what I am doing and learn from me what they should?  The other day I was putting my mom to bed (really picking her up and putting her in bed) and Lily was watching me.  I guess she didn't realize how much help my mom needed.  She talked for quite a while about taking care of moms.  Hey, I guess that is a good thing to teach.  I didn't have to teach it to her, she just watched.

So even though I do alot and wear a lot of hats doesn't mean that I always feel accomplished.  Sometimes I feel quite lacking.

I think that in a few years all my little ones will no longer need me so much and I will wonder what to do with all of my time.  I guess that this is just my season for busyness.

(Of course, great prepared meals and a clean house are often top of the list for lacking and matching socks is quite an event here.) 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012


Nope, never did find the candy!  I had to go out and buy more today.  I hid it well because Larissa can find anything anywhere in the house and outer garages.  Well, I hid it just a tad too well. 

Just a small brain malfunction.

I have actually been quite busy but my computer has not been cooperating.  Yesterday I had to buy a new computer and all today I have been dealing with internet connectivity problems.  It is so frustrating to move files and get systems to connect.

So, when my issues are resolved I will be back!

Monday, February 13, 2012

It's Only Monday!

Very, very busy day today.  I'll be back if I find where I hid the Valentine candy!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Not too Good!

Do Larissa's hair...oh my! It is so bad that it must be accomplished today. I can't take her to church with her current hair mess.  Done.....this is the before

Attend a 31 party with the teens. I have never been to one but am going to enjoy some adult company.
Went and spent too much! Had a great time.

Not spend a lot of money at the 31 party. 
Read previous.......

Work on my Wiki for class and read for my other class.
Did work on my Wiki but didn't read anything.

movie with the hubby.
Nope, still in the works.
Paint a little on many choices.

 snacks for church and Bible study....our turn for both. Either convince mom to go to church or get a sitter.
Yes, food is a necessity.
Get kids working on their Valentines.

Only 2 loads.

Maybe work on those taxes.

Work on Tasha's care package

Seems like I didn't get too much accomplished this weekend.  I did get a work order submitted for our dishwasher that is not working right and our internet/TV because it keeps pausing.  I have blogs to write on several subjects but my blog doesn't want to cooperate so it will have to wait until tomorrow.

Have a great evening!

Saturday, February 11, 2012


My objectives for this weekend are:

Do Larissa's hair...oh my!  It is so bad that it must be accomplished today.  I can't take her to church with her current hair mess.

Attend a 31 party with the teens.  I have never been to one but am going to enjoy some adult company.

Not spend a lot of money at the 31 party.

Work on my Wiki for class and read for my other class.

Go to a movie with the hubby.

Paint a little on many choices.

Get snacks for church and Bible study....our turn for both. Either convince mom to go to church or get a sitter.

Get kids working on their Valentines.


Maybe work on those taxes.

Work on Tasha's care package.

I am not even going put put down work on a pile of clutter because I haven't gotten too far on the last one.  No sock matching either.

Maybe putting it down will inspire me to accomplish something.

What are your plans?

Friday, February 10, 2012


Lately I feel stressed quite a lot.  I don't know if I am coming or going.

For my mom I have several folks coming each week.  Weekly we have 3 times for PT, 2 times for PT, 2 times for aid, 2 times for nurse and they want to add speech.  This requires me to have my mom out of bed and ready to receive guests.  It sometimes disrupts her nap time!  I just know that one day I am going to get caught mom that is, I don't really have the time.

For my school I seem to be perpetually behind.  I realize it is because I have class on Wednesday and Thursday  so by Friday I am ready for a break.  Then comes the weekend when I get nothing done.  Therefore by Monday I need to do the work for two classes and they really require more time.  Sadly, I need to stop taking my weekends off. 

The kitchen redo is coming along  v e r y   s l o w l y.  It may get completed this year.  Can a ladder be a permanent part of the kitchen?  Don't expect any great reveal pictures anytime soon!  The front door is almost done, I need to prime and paint it. 

Good thing I am thinking, I just realized that two kids have a therapist appointment today.  Great, I hope that PT is gone before I need to go to that since it is in the big city. 

Today is John's last day of work.  He won't have to take his long drive in to work anymore.  It is also Dimples last day of daycare.  We had been told that she would get ABC vouchers for daycare.  Communication from their SW has dropped to nothing so my constant calls to her to see why the daycare has not been receiving their money have been ignored.  Finally three weeks ago I started paying full rate because I didn't want the debt to go too deep.  Yesterday I found out that they will not give us a voucher because I do not work, I only go to school.  Nice, we owe a huge sum of money now to daycare because it took months to determine this.  Oh and this didn't come from the SW, I finally decided to call her supervisor.

Kids....well, they are kids.  It seems like it is big project time at school.  Why do they give these projects to kids knowing that they can't do them themselves?  I have my own school work.  I don't mind giving assistance but these require more then assistance.  Are they testing me?  Anyone else have this complaint?  Seems like when I was a kid I did all my work myself.

Well, I'd better go, the laundry is dinging my name.  Wonder if I should match some of those socks today, the pile has gotten huge again. 

Have a great day!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Foster Care Review Board

Yesterday I went to the teens Foster Care Review Board.  What is that?

From their site:
About the Division of Foster Care Review
The South Carolina Children's Foster Care Review Board was created in 1974 by the General Assembly to monitor the progress in achieving permanent placements for children in foster care.  The Children's Foster Care Review Board is administered by the Governor's Office of Executive Policy and Programs.
South Carolina was the first state to pass a law allowing citizens from each community to become involved in the child welfare system by participating in case reviews of all children who spend longer than four consecutive months in foster care.  The objectives of these reviews are to ensure that permanent plans are being made for children and families; and, to promote community awareness about these issues.

Each of South Carolina's sixteen judicial circuits has at least one local review board.  Each local review board is made up of five volunteers, appointed by the Governor,  from the community.  A professional staff person from the Division of Foster Care Review coordinates the monthly review meetings of each local board.

The Children's Foster Care Review Board is supported by a seven member State Board of Directors.  The State Board meets quarterly and is responsible for reviewing and coordinating the activities of the local review boards and making recommendations in an annual report to the Governor and the General Assembly.

For every meeting I went to with Anthony and Larissa they recommended TPR and adoption.  It really didn't make any difference.  They don't seem to have any power and no impact that I have seen.  Looks like all they do is create paperwork for everyone involved.  As foster parents we are given paperwork to fill out with the child's progress.  Or, we can attend.  I didn't get around to filling out the paperwork so I attended.

The teens GAL, SW and I showed up and gave an update to the board.  I was surprised when the GAL said that our teen told her that this last Christmas was her best Christmas ever.  That was nice to hear.  Our teen can give us some trying times but she is so sweet.  She is very honest and open about her feelings and unusual for a teen.

Her SW wanted to know who our adoption worker is for our other kids so that our teen can be assigned the same one.  It would make sense for just one worker to come to the house each month instead of two.  Perhaps this case will actually move forward.  All parties involved seem interested in doing so.  The next six months will tell. 

The 90 days to file for TPR and get a court date for our other girls has past....with no filing.  Surprised?

This is My Home!

Today Dimples came up to me.

Dimples:  This is MY home?
Me:  Yes
Dimples:  Good, I want to stay.

I am curious, did it just occur to her that this is her home or is she just now accepting that this is her home?

Sunday, February 5, 2012

In Other News

We have been looking at paint chips for the kitchen.  we even added in some laminate chips to make it interesting.

A paint color was chosen.

Here is a paint sample in the kitchen.  What do you think?

For the curious......this is why I call Dimples, Dimples.

Don't expect any finished kitchen pictures any time soon.  Between kids, mom, school and like the kitchen is going to be a very slow project.

Kid saying of the day:

Dimples:  Mom I am sick.
Me:  Oh, how do you feel sick?
Dimples:  I am sick of the tattling!

Mom Update

Wow, where did the weekend go? 

On Friday we received a visit from the home health agency.  They will provide my mom with OT, PT and speech as well as help with bathing.   Baths are a problem right now.  Both of our bathrooms downstairs have small doors....32".  Not wide enough for a wheelchair.  Why was it designed that way?  Both of the bathrooms upstairs have 36" doors and could accommodate a wheelchair.  Next week a bathroom guru is coming to look at our dilemma.

Ha, no pictures this morning as I washed my moms the kitchen with her wheelchair reclined and a Hefty trash bag wrapped around her neck and trailing into a trash bag.  It worked, my mom has super clean hair and didn't drown in the process.

The home health will only come for 9 weeks.  After that we are on our own.  There is a long term home care program through Medicaid.  My moms Medicaid for South Carolina expired once she applied in Texas.  So we get to apply all over again.  Once we get approved (she definitely meets the income limits) then we can go on the list for long term home care.  The list is 6-8 months long!  It could be 8-10 months before she can receive their services.  I told them that they made it easier to put the elderly in nursing homes and they agreed.  Sad.

The hospital bed arrived on Friday as well.  Now I don't have to worry about my mom falling and breaking something.  We also requested a portable toilet and should get that on Monday.  The nursing home told me that my mom was totally incontinent.  Well, apparently not.  She asked to go to the bathroom and I had no way to get her to one.  She said that at the nursing home they wouldn't take her to the bathroom, told her to use her Depends.  I suspect that they don't have enough people to take everyone to the bathroom.  Uh, but how dehumanizing to have everyone go in their pants.

The nurse wanted to see how my moms' dementia was.  She asked her the year and my mom responded that it was 1921.  She then asked her where she was and my mom responded that she was at her daughters house and gave my whole name.  My mom does have some dementia issues but is very aware as well.  Friday night as I was putting her to bed I told her that I was going to work on a paper that was due at midnight.  The next morning my mom asked me if I finished my paper.  Sometimes she is right on and then other days she mentions things that are way off.

My mom appeared sad today and I asked her if she was missing the people at the nursing home.  She said yes.  I then asked her if I should have left her there and she quickly responded no.  I can understand, she is missing the relationships but not the place.  It will take some time to get adjusted to the new living arrangement.

Mom has also decided that she wants her room painted orange......I brought a hundred color strips home so she can pick a color.  We will see what we end up with.

Friday, February 3, 2012

2:27 am

At 2:27 am I received a call from DSS.  They wanted to know if we would take a 10 year old child.  Apparently this child was taken to the emergency room for a specific issue and left.  After treatment they were unable to find the child's family.  Would we take the child?  Somehow we ended up on the list of open foster homes in our county.  However, we are full with 5 kids under the age of 18.  I would have said yes but had to say no. 

Then I couldn't go back to sleep.

Seriously!?  Dropping a 10 year old off at the emergency, leaving them alone?!  I can't even imagine.  What on earth were they thinking?  How can they care so little about their child? 


-Got 4 kids to school and preschool on time, in matched clothing, hair brushed, socks matched, bellies full, shoes matched, prescriptions taken and the correct clothing for the weather.  No teeth got brushed.

-My mom stayed up just a little longer and ate just a little more today.

-I called the doctor to see why I haven't heard from the home health place.  They assumed I was going to put my mom in a nursing home so didn't put in the they have put in the referral and a prescription for a hospital bed.

-Figured out what my mom has for prescriptions so that tomorrow when I pick up her medication I won't go totally broke like her last medication did.

-Cleared my desk just enough to realize that the teen has a foster care review board meeting on Monday.  Put it on Outlook so I might not forget it.

-Lily came home with complaining that her ear hurt.  Since it is close to the weekend I decided to take her to the doctors....yep, ear infection.  Ran to the pharmacy to get her antibiotic filled.  Used every known trick to alleviate pain about an hour after bedtime because child was crying.

-Since the doctor visit coincided with Larissa's dance class I had to call on a friend to take her, then I paid a small fortune for recital outfits when I picked her up.

-I did several loads of laundry but didn't match any socks.

-Tried to help Anthony with his math but he is so hard to work with in that area.

-Successfully helped Larissa with her homework.

-Signed off on several behavior charts.

-Filled out field trip forms and if I can find $5 I will be ahead of the game.

-I finished my assignment that was due at 4:27 thanks to my brain coming back online at about noon.

-I didn't write the paper that is due tomorrow....actually I didn't even start on it.  It is due 1 minute before midnight, any guesses as to when it will get done?

-Sat at the dining room table for a long time cutting up my mom cheese for her crackers and watching her watching the teenagers do their animated talking and teasing.  She watched them as though they were aliens.

-Took my mom in and out of bed three times.  Called the doctor and let a message for her to call me back in regards to setting up therapy.  Thankful that I can lift my mom out of her wheelchair and bed, I carry Larissa on my hip all the time at 50 lbs, so what is another 100 lbs? 

-Decided that this mess need addressing..........(sometime soon)

-Skyped with Tasha and realizied that I need to get another box in the mail.  Another priority for me.

-Vacuumed my bedroom floor....long overdue.

-Ate Oreos and chocolate

-Played some Facebook games with friends and answered some emails.

-Updated my blog!

-Now I am heading to bed at 1:30am. 

What did you do today?

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

My Day

Three times today I got my mom up and into her wheelchair.  I brought her into the center of activity (the kitchen) and fed her.  Every time she ate and then tried to fall asleep in her wheelchair.  When I would ask her if she was feeling OK she would say yes but ask to go back to bed.  She slept for a majority of the day.  I hope that her new antibiotics help her to feel better.

I also didn't make it to class tonight.  I just didn't feel that I could leave since my mom wasn't up when I would have left I was concerned that she would not get dinner.  I do not expect John to do a Depend change and get her up.  Sarah stayed with my mom after breakfast and we ran to the airport to pick up my mom's luggage.  We also got to the commissary.....geez, $350 later we have a stocked pantry.  It seems as though those grocery get more expensive every time I go.

John took Mon-Wed off and it was nice to have him here.  He took the kids to school in the morning giving me a big break.  He also picked them up for me.  Tomorrow he will be at work and I will be working hard on an assignment that is due at 4:30....I haven't even started on it.  Normally I am not that bad!  I also have a paper due on Friday that I will try to finish tomorrow.

Friday I have an appointment with a new therapist for the two little ones.  I am curious to see how this one pans out.  Hopefully we can get some help.  Still waiting on a TPR trial date for the girls.  The 90 days to file for a court date is up on the 3rd.  If they haven't filed by then adoptions can make a stink.

It seems as though every day I am totally exhausted by the end of the day.  Normally at this time I am just getting into my studying, I guess that is why I am so far behind....I can't think past 8pm.  So I am off to bed.  Have a good night everyone!