Thursday, October 28, 2010

I did nothing today except for watch babies and clean house. I should have studied or at least gone to bed at a decent hour. I think I just have too much on my mind.
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Joselin. Sigh. I sent her a care package with winter clothing, shoes and a backpack. No response, just entitlement. She is doing fine in school so I guess I should just be happy with that. Why is it I always want more?
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My mom. Sigh. Now she says that she want to come to SC. When we left Texas she wanted to stay there where my two brothers are. They haven't stepped up to the plate and haven't been visiting. How do I get her here? How do I transfer her medicaid? Her needs are too high, I just can't bring her into my home so I would need to be able to transfer her to a nursing home close to me. How do I travel with her, in a wheelchair and incontinent. How do you deal with the incontinence if something happens in the plane? She has friends where she is living, is a move really in her best interest. Should I just try and motivate my brothers? I also sent her a care package with winter clothing, a Halloween outfit and candy.
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Larissa. Sigh. I have come ot realize that although she is no longer having her seizures while going to sleep, she is still having them in the middle of the night. She keeps falling out of bed so one night I had her sleep with me. I was woken at 3 am when she was having a seizure. Seems like every time we go to the doctors they just keep medicating and medicating. Now she is on two different medications. And the falling out of bed......I need to do something about that. I really think she is doing it during a seizure. She doesn't want one of those baby rails. I need to take her bed apart and put her mattress on the floor until I come up with something else. She rattles the entire house when she falls.
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Anthony. Sigh. Sigh....I am looking for a hospital mattress for one of his issues. Pull ups are not sufficient and I am tired of the laundry and buying plastic sheets that he tears up.
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Foster care. Sigh. When we were foster parents before in SC they subsidized (we paid for a small portion of it) child care if you were a full time student. Budget cuts. They no longer do this. Next semester I have to take a class where I have to be in a public school every week for 5 hours. If DSS can't get me an ABC voucher then I don't think that I can continue to do foster care.
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Kiwi. Sigh. I have come to realize that she has attachment issues. She goes to everyone without any discrimination. She came into our home without any tears, just walked in like she knew us and made herself right at home. On top of that, we have also come to realize that she can not deal with chaotic situations. We have had three incidents where there were kids crying in the room and Kiwi had to be held the entire time or she was in tears. We are having problems with church because of this. SW says it is a result of living in an abusive home, yet these kids are supposed to go home where nothing has changed.
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My husband. Sigh. The separation is getting old. There aren't' many job in his area of expertise. What do we do about this? The housing market here is still awful and I don't see it changing anytime soon.
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I worry about my older kids as well. I will not write about them here, but they pull on this mothers heart. I just want to fix it.
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Sarah. Yeah. She is worried about math and is not having the major bullying issues at school. Oh, yes she has the normal drama. All so normal, thank goodness. I still find it funny that she wore her Rugrats shirt when she didn't know that she was going to meet the Rugrat creator. Life is just so funny sometimes.

The baby. Yeah. Growing so fast, making sounds and into everything. Finally over her fear of baths and holding her up in the air. Now they are both delights to her. She is getting attached to us which breaks my heart on a certain level because I know she is leaving.
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Ack. I have 4 birthdays in November! Then Christmas is just around the corner. Wow, where did this year go? I think I will have 9 kids to shop for and I have barely started. It should be an interesting year. I have 56 days until Christmas.
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Thankfully tomorrow is a new day and a Friday at that so John will be coming home. Time to put my worries to the side and head to bed since I can. The bed actually got cleared of all clothing! A huge accomplishment (and only a small amount ended up on the floor).

Have a blessed night.

3 comments:

  1. Lady, you got too much going on! Rick and I were apart 3 1/2 years. It started due to a job but he had some midlife crises issues, had to retire from the USAF because they were pushing everyone out at 20 at that time etc. so it got ugly. Eventually I moved down here where he'd already lived 3 1/2 years but it meant giving up foster care (I stayed until Jasmine's adoption was final) and rebuilding our family. A lot of bad crap happened during the time. Some of the same kid issues you have.

    Hang in there but make sure you somehow get time for yourself. WIsh I was closer and I could do some respite for you.

    In GA they actually gave me daycare for a child when I showed that I was a freelance writer by presenting my submission and sales records.

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  2. When we were going through the licensing they knew I was going to school. They made no mention of the change in daycare vouchers. When we accepted these kids they said they would go home on Sept 17th, uh first of Oct, no end of October. Now they have a December court date and they aren't sure what is going to happen. Next semester I need something at least one day a week. To make you choose between school and foster care is terrible.

    I do have an outlet.....that playhouse is it. I love to create and paint.

    I think that the military retirement period is a very difficult time for many families. Glad you were able to get back on track. And, yes, it would be nice if you lived close!

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