It was pointed out to me that I am going through a grieving process. I hadn't looked at it that way but now that I take a look around my house I can see that it is true.
.It didn't just start when I put my child on the bus back to Kim's. On the day that I told Joselin no and she told me that she was old enough to do what she wanted, I realized that she only came home because she knew that in our state you could leave home at 17. Where my friend lives kids can not leave at 17, they must be 18.
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She did not come home to work on a relationship with the family. She came home so she could have her freedom. Unfortunately for her, she didn't realize how unprepared she is to be on her own and she only lasted 5 days before she had to come back. Her anger was terrible after she came back. Upon realizing that she couldn't do it, she took to blaming everyone.
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She is in a safe place now. She is in a state where she can't choose to drop out of school. Kim is going to try and get her into Job Corps, but we are concerned that she won't be able to pass the basic test to get in. She has 11 months until she is 18, I hope that she does what she needs to better prepare herself.
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It has been a month of grieving, I need to get back to my family.
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My house is a mess! Every room is a disaster, the laundry has piled up. I don't know how that happened. My attentions were elsewhere but I need to bring them back home.
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See, I have other kids relying on me. I have this one in my lap right now........
She has had two seizures since she fell asleep in my lap. She sees the neurologist next week.
I can't allow the needs of one child to destroy the family. I can't allow one child to take away my effectiveness to parent the rest of my kids. I have kids with lots of needs that must be met. I have healing children who give me hope.
I haven't given up on the lost one, but I have gotten past the depression and anger and have reached a feeling of acceptance. I have to accept that we have given all that we can and it is now up to the child to determine her future. Sometimes, as hard as it is, you have to let go.
said a prayer for you today.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteI am so right there with you. I am trying to figure out the best thing for Jeff right now. He cannot come home and just lay around all day. I would never be able to trust him in the house alone. What to do with the 17 year olds?????
ReplyDelete17 year olds are so hard. Here they can pretty do much come and go and you can't do a thing about it.
ReplyDeleteThey don't have to be emancipated to legally leave?
ReplyDeleteIn SC no. When Joselin ran away a few days before her 17th birthday I called the police to put in a run away report. They said that by time the report was in she would be 17 and nothing would happen. He told me that at 17 they can leave all they want and then if they want to come back we have to let them.....until they turn 18. We are also responsible for their actions while they are gone. Crazy.
ReplyDelete