Walk to Cure Diabetes

In a few weeks there will be a walk to raise funds for a Cure for Diabetes. My daughter Tasha asked me to post about a friend of hers who will be walking for her daughter. Her daughter Alissa is 9 years old. She is trying to find sponsors for her walk. If you are interested in finding a cure for diabetes and supporting her please visit her donation site.

http://www2.jdrf.org/site/TR/Walk/Chapter-CentralFlorida4134?px=1221035&pg=personal&fr_id=1256

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Childhood diabetes has not been an issue I have personally had to deal with. Anyone coming here have any experiences to share?

2 Hours

Two hours a month....that is how much visitation my foster babies get. I know that I complain about the disruption that visitation can have for the kids, but really visitation is important. It is important for the kids to form an attachment with their parents. For the parents to attach with their children.
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But, seriously, how much of that is going on in a small crowded room in 2 hours a month? How would you feel seeing your baby for only 2 hours a month? How much do you miss?
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I know that the kids are in care for a reason. I know that they need protected. I know that the parents have things they need to work through.
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However, the ones hurt by the months of little contact time are the kids. How well does my 12 month old know her parents? Surely not very well.
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In our state the kids go home the same day the courts determine they can go. There is no period of transition. We find out at court that they are going home and then we go home and pack them up and take them to DSS that same day.
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So, a baby who has seen their parents for two hours a month for almost a year is suddenly taken from the home they know and placed with their parents who they don't know.
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This concerns me. I have two little ones who do not understand what is going on. Two little ones who are used to our routine, our home and are attached to us.
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I am pretty confident that these kids will go home. I am pretty sure that at some point these kids will go back home and they will not understand. I am concerned about their attachment to us. They do have an attachment to us. We have an attachment to them. However, we understand what is happening. We know that they will be leaving. The biggest pain for me is knowing that they do not understand. Will they think we have abandoned them?
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So, what can be done about it?
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We have asked for and received permission to meet with the parents of our foster kids. We can do extra visitations on our time. We have done this before when we knew kids were going home.
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Today we spent two hours at McDonald's. A local McDonald's with a play space. They got to hold their babies, feed them, play with them for two hours. It isn't much in the big picture but it is something. It is more time for the babies to attach with their parents. We will not meet next weekend because I have drill. However, we will meet again the next weekend.
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Ultimately, it feels like the right thing to do for my babies.

Making a Terrarium

Long ago, in my youth, I was into cool things like macrame and making terrariums. I actually learned how to do macrame in the public schools in California. Fifth grade to be exact, hmmm, so we lived in Walnut Creek that year. We lived in several different cities while in California: Moss Beach, Union City, Visalia and Walnut Creek.
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So, when I saw this huge glass thingy at Hobby Lobby for 80% off my mind instantly thought of a terrarium.

Since I did buy the glass thingy, I bought the rest of the necessary items today. Pebbles, charcoal, moss, dirt and plants. Finding small plants was a challenge. I found some at Lowe's that I thought would work if I separated them. (Larissa is hiding in this picture because she didn't want to be in it and no, I never let her sit on the table.)

I learned long ago to not fill the terrarium with plants...they will grow. If I had more glass jars I could have made more.

I put the spare plants in other pots that I had. I normally don't have extra pots sitting around. However, I have been rooting some ivy so I bought them a few weeks ago.

I wonder if I could still do macrame.

I while ago I was awarded The Versatile Blogger and I procrastinated on replying. Yea, I am good at doing that!


I received this from http://myendometriosisandinfertilityjourney.blogspot.com/

I am supposed to award it to blogs that I read. However, I am just going to list some of my favorite blogs. These are not in any specific order and it is not a complete list. I had a hard drive crash and am still trying to find all my favorite spots.

http://casselcrew.blogspot.com/ - A woman I really relate to. Previous military family, adoptive and previous foster family. I wish she lived closer! I do think I will pop into FL one day to meet her and her family.

http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/ - I love watching her children grow. She writes such beautiful posts with so much faith that I wish I had.

http://khadijateri.blogspot.com/ - An American married to a man from Libya, currently living in Libya. They have 6 children. Reading this blog has made me realize that momma's everywhere share a lot of the same struggles. She is currently in Libya so pop over and offer her some encouragement.

http://mom2countrykids.blogspot.com/ - A Texas family who is living beyond the boonies. I love watching their lifestyle while knowing that it is not for me. I am so spoiled! We actually got to meet while we were living in Texas.

http://foster2forever.com/ - A foster mom. I enjoy reading her challenges and can relate to so much.

http://iammommahearmeroar.blogspot.com/ - A craft site a really enjoy.

http://happyhappyhousewife.blogspot.com/ - Another craft type of site I check out frequently.

http://ourplacecalledhome.blogspot.com/ - I have followed them since they went and pick up their daughter Teresa. Visit and pray for her, the doctors have told them that they can't correct her heart defect.

http://16blessingsmom.blogspot.com/ - Ha, a mom to many kids who struggles like I do to keep up with the clutter. Love her realness.

http://ourchinastarfish.blogspot.com/ - An adoptive family site I enjoy.

http://beadsbraidsbeyond.blogspot.com/ - A great site for hairstyles for Larissa.

Bad Momma Moments

Ever forget your kid?
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Tonight I dropped Larissa off at dance class and decided to run to Walmart to get a few items.
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Totally doable in our tiny town.
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I shopped quickly and left Walmart with plenty of time to get to the dance studio before class finished.
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I promptly drove home.....and realized as I was driving up the driveway that I forgot Larissa at dance.
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I got to turn around and head to dance.
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Thankfully it is a very small town and I got there just as class let out.
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Note to self......don't do a Walmart run when you are very tired.

Signs of Spring

We have had several days of beautiful weather so I got my new camera out and played with it. I also tried out some photo software.

We planted some new trees last year and they survived their first winter. I thought for sure that at least one of them had perished in the snow.
First flower in my yard of the year.

Ugh, a sign of a yard begging for a gardener. I have a lot of work to do in the yard but I am planning on taking summer classes so I am not sure when it will get done.

So, how are things looking in your neck of the woods?

I was Crazy

I was crazy when I decided to sign up for four classes this semester. I have a test tomorrow and a paper due. I am supposed to be well in to a project in that class and haven't even found a child to do it on yet. Finding kids for projects is the hardest thing.
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Next week I have a major test and then volunteered to give my analysis of a paper with a research design. The more I look at the paper I chose the more messed up it looks. Well, it should be interesting to say the least.
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In yet another class I was supposed to start visiting classes last week yet I only received the contact information today. That puts me behind in getting in the required 25 hours in 4 weeks. I am enjoying this class since it gets me into the schools in different settings. My last 4 weeks were spent in the middle school. I really enjoyed those kids. Actually, it made me wonder if I am in the right specialty.
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Sometimes I think I may not end up teaching. There seem to be more possibilities then I realized when I started down this road. Ugh, growing up is so hard. How am I supposed to decide what I want to be when I grow up?
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Thankfully the week after next is spring break for my school and I plan on using that time to catch up on my reading. I am so far behind.
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So, I am off to either read or fall asleep reading. Have a great night.

No Guarantees

I was thinking today and that can be a dangerous thing. We are looking at adoption again and I am reading photolistings again. Photolistings can be a scary thing. They really don't tell you anything concrete so you have to read between the lines. I pay attention when I read that the child must be the youngest in the home........or when it states that they need two parents who can provide lots of structure.
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There are so many ways to look at the few paragraphs that sum up the child. After working with the system for a while my mind automatically conjures up the worse possible thing each item could mean....and I find it sad. Sad that the system has jaded me so. Sad that these children could be so harmed by their life experiences that they may not be able to function well in my family. I worry about the dangers I could be putting my children in, because my first concern is to protect my children.
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Last week I did my taxes. We are using our adoption tax credit this year so I had to send in a copy of our subsidy agreement which shows the kids diagnosis's. I hadn't read it in a long time. I had forgotten what all was written on there. Everything from FAE to mood disorders. A whole cocktail of issues for two little children. I wonder what their photolistings would have said. They never got to that point because we said yes when they asked us if we would consider adopting them. We said yes when we knew that the path wouldn't always be easy. We went into this with our eyes open.
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I think that is why we liked adopting from foster care, we knew the children and knew what challenges we would have. The unknown scares me. I want to know, I want someone to be honest with me. I know what I can deal with and what I can't deal with. I find developmental delays to be so much easier then mental illnesses. Having said that, it doesn't mean that I wouldn't be open to adopting another child with a mental illness. I would want to know about it and be able to make an informed decision though.
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When you look to adopt you have to be realistic and know what you can and can't deal with. I can't deal with fire starters, animal abusers, and sexually acting out (been there and it is hard). But, there are no guarantees. A child may not show any of those before coming to your home.
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I have a five year old daughter who at times will not speak up for herself. Therefore we are not open to boys. Yes, we are looking to adopt a girl. To us our reasons are valid. We know what even a 3 year old boy is capable of when he is sexually acting out.
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Because we have younger children we are looking at adopting younger children. We don't want our little ones to become victims.
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So we are looking at young girls. Lots of adoptive families are looking for young girls. So we may never be matched. I can accept this. I will wait for the right child to come along. I will be patient. I will pray.
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Even with younger children there are no guarantees. Heck even with biological children there are no guarantees.
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But, you know, that isn't right. There are guarantees.
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I can guarantee you that when the call comes for a possible match we will not be prepared. It will come at the worse possible time.
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I can guarantee you that we will worry whether we are the right family or not. Can we provide everything that this child needs.
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Having said that, I can guarantee that we will support that child to the utmost of our abilities.
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I can guarantee you that the child will test our resolve and try our patience.
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I can guarantee you that family and friends will think that we are crazy......and that I know I am so it doesn't matter to me.
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I can guarantee you that no one will really understand the issues we are going through except for those who have done it themselves. For me finding those like souls has been mainly through the Internet.
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Funny, I can't guarantee you that with lots of love everything will be great. That the child will be so thankful for a family and live happily ever after. No guarantees that there will be instant love and bonding. I can't even guarantee you that the child will become an adult and maintain a relationship.
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So why adopt? Why do it when there are no guarantees?
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For me.........it is my calling.
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For me.......... it is my gift.

Life

It was a beautiful weekend here. The kids got to get outside and out of my hair, er, I mean they got to get some sun and exercise.
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There are signs of spring in my yard. Those little sprigs of green always shock me because they come without any help from me. This is a good thing because if my plants depended on me then there wouldn't be many of them. It is survival of the fittest when it comes to my yard plantings.
The kids had lots of fun getting into things they shouldn't have outside. Guess who got into some paint......yellow paint to be exact.

Actually, I am surprised that there was any paint to be found in that tray. It has been sitting out all winter, through the snow and rain. However, Larissa was able to find just enough to add some paint to the playhouse. It is all my fault, I left it sitting out, besides that post will be painted yellow this spring anyways.

Anthony is growing so fast. Seems like he loses new teeth quite frequently. Just enough to make the tooth fairy look neglectful. Every time I look at his big, beautiful teeth I think braces. I just don't see how they are all going to fit with his narrow jaw.

The weekend has gone way too fast. I got nothing accomplished. Yep........nothing. Seems like I did the same thing last weekend. I must be in some type of rut of something. I did get to Lowes for some wood for my folding table....or I should say the table where I put folded laundry. Yes, I am still working on that project very slowly. I don't seem to get much accomplished these days. I do get lots of things started though.

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I didn't read a single chapter for school but I did think about it. I also thought about all the projects that I need to do but am way behind on. Thankfully in one class we were told that at this point we should just be thinking about our project, so I guess I am doing well in that class.

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Tonight Sarah and I are going to a chick flick. A little one on one time is always good for the teenagers so I grab it when I can. I am sure that she will hit me up for a drink and candy. I am looking forward to it.

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So, how was your weekend?

Paperwork

Paperwork....not adoption, foster, or school paperwork. Household paperwork!! Ack, what does everyone do with all these papers. Where does it all come from? Does it magically reproduce in the middle of the night? I do know that if I throw anything away I will need it the next day!

My paperwork has just exploded lately. Getting Sarah and Tylor into the virtual school added a whole new set of paperwork. My schooling has added to the chaos. Every new item we bought....more paperwork. New dishwasher...trampoline....computer. It doesn't matter what it is, it all comes with paperwork. Even the playmobil toys, I would not like to lose that or I may never get them back together one day.

Right now my paperwork is sitting in diaper boxes......
laundry baskets.........
and just about every flat surface there is.

Last weekend I figured it was time to get this under control. I have a lot of historical documents filed and in file boxes. However, everything for the last two years is ....well, everywhere.
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So, with resolve I bought some hanging files and went in search of a filing cabinet. (Now that I look at it, the 25 size box will not be enough)

Plain Jane filing cabinet at Office Depot looked good to me. Problem was they didn't stock any, they deliver everything (for free). They said I would get it by Tuesday....not. I got it on Wednesday. Now to just get it out of the garage and into the house.

My dear husband cracked the box for me and there is a big dent on the top. Oh, now what do I do? Request they come and get it and bring a new one, that will set me back another week. Ugh..

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Another great mystery...........

Why did I buy these great toilet paper holders that require minimum effort to refill when no one will put the new roll on them?

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Nite all.......have a great Friday.

Who I am Sleeping With Tonight

Larissa and her big stuffed dog...........you can't tell but she is sleeping diagonally across the bed. She is such a bedhog!

Nite everyone.

Lost a Babysitter

Well we have lost a babysitter. Well, we didn't literally lose her, but we have lost her services. Joselin no longer has any responsibilities over the kids. When she came home she was very helpful around the house and seemed to be trying to be nice with the kids.
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However, she has slowly reverted back to her old ways. She is mean to the kids and does not treat them the way I like. So, she is off of babysitting duty. Along with the loss of responsibilities is the loss of income for her. I pay each girl $100/month for babysitting. I put the money into their bank accounts and they have debit cards to buy their stuff. The idea was to help them learn to budget and keep track of their money. But, no work equals no income.
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Sarah was watching the kids before Joselin came home so she will do fine. Actually Sarah has told me that she would rather be in charge of the kids because she doesn't like the way Joselin treats them. Sarah's biggest problem is that she is too easy. The main person who takes advantage of that is Anthony. He talks terribly to her and outwardly defies her. This is something that we have dealt with for a long time. Anthony can smell a weak person a mile away and takes advantage of them. If anyone has a good way of dealing with this issue, please share it with me! Actually I am considering some type of star chart or something so that they can earn ....uh, something. Like I said, I am still in the contemplating stage. I hope to have something in place for next week.
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I really don't know where we stand with Joselin right now. She does seem to care about school right now and seems to be trying to pass her classes. In April she will take the exit exam and I am curious to see where she stands on that. If she is too far from being able to pass then I wonder if she will lose her motivation for classes.
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As much as she cares for school she seems to not care at all about the family. She is mean to all the kids to include Sarah and even the baby. Most of the time she is fine with me but historically that has been the case. I have had a few incidents where she has been yelling at me and naturally I correct her. I have also caught her in lies so that hasn't changed. I can't forget that she told me that she lies to me so much that she doesn't even know the truth anymore. I have also had some small things taken and when I found the items in her room she claims that she was only borrowing it. We are still missing Sarah's IPod touch and I have my suspicions. Sometimes I feel like she is just a boarder in our home waiting for a better opportunity to come along.
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We have given her more freedoms since she got back since she is 17 and will be 18 years old this summer. It really has not gone well. She has made some very bad decisions for herself. At this point I can only hope that she is learning something from her mistakes.
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Yep, we have lost a babysitter...........but I can't help but feel that we have lost so much more.

This n That

Seems like the days are racing by. My school is dominating my time making it difficult to juggle things. I thought that the foster kids foster care review board was this week.....ooops, it was last week. I totally missed it. Funny I talked to the SW about it and planned on attending it, I just don't know what happened to the missing week! It really is not a big deal, I feel that the foster care review board makes its decisions but they have no impact on anything. I think the process was developed to make more paperwork for all involved.
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In more foster news, the kids court date will no longer be in March. It MAY be in May. Crazy, so much blame is put on the SW for all the shortcomings of foster care, but I find that most of the time it is the court that makes things go so slowly. If one person can't make it on the court date, then it gets delayed for at least one month.
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The foster babies have a visit this week and then next week the baby has a birthday. I really didn't think that she would be here for her first birthday so I need to decide what to do for it. I need to buy her something but am not sure what. I have Christmas presents bagged up to go home because we have so many toys. Hmmmm.....I will have to think about it.
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In other kid news.....
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I received a phone call from Anthony's teacher today. He is failing math...in the first grade. They want to change his IEP to take away the extra reading help and increase the math time. I agree since his reading is on grade level. Originally she wanted a March 17th IEP date and I told her that was too far away. I asked if he could have his services changed without the formal IEP meeting. Naturally she called me back while I was in class and left a message asking if I could come on Wednesday at 10am. I need to remember to call her back in the morning to let her know that I will be there.
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Today I was at the high school for Joselin. She has been having problems getting the accommodations that are stated in her IEP. She has one teacher who wasn't willing to make the accommodations. I made a stink about it so hopefully that problem will be corrected. I shouldn't have to go to the school to ensure that the IEP is being followed but I find that in high school it is a struggle to get the teachers to read them.
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The kids came home from school today with bags of candy. Some parents made up cute bags with candy, pencils and such....making me look like a slacker. We did the FunDip Valentines (at the last possible moment). I did get the kids a little something but nothing big. I don't really do Valentine's Day big. I don't decorate the house or make cupcakes. Honestly, I do the minimum for this day. Seems like everything turns into a big money pit and I don't always feel like buying into it. Naturally, I got my Valentine some of his favorite candy and a mushy card. I received some beautiful flowers, chocolate (of course) and a mushy card. So, I consider our Valentine's Day a success. How much do you do for Valentine's Day? Do you get tired of all the holidays that have become big money pits?
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I can't believe that it is only Monday, for some reason it seems later in the week. I have a full week so I need to get to bed! Nite everyone.

Sometimes it is Hard

Yesterday I bought Anthony a new bed from a seller on Craigslist. I had been looking for a wooden bed with drawers on the bottom and a bookshelf as a headboard. I finally found one and promptly picked up my son Jason to go buy it (I never go to Craigslist buys alone). The bed looks great......... I think that this bed will last a while. When he was about 4 years old her had a similar bed. He literally kicked that bed to pieces. He had such anger issues and took them out on his bed.
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He has learned not to destroy things in his anger. He has improved. But there are days when I really don't know what is going on with him. He still struggles with some issues and I struggle with how to help him with them.
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I know that he still struggles with language issues, a direct result of no one talking to him before he came into care. When asked a question, he will often give a blank stare. He definitely has some processing issues. However, his language issues have not affected his ability to read, he does that well....strange.
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I find some of his issues hard to deal with because they are so erratic. At school he is great for weeks then something happens and he loses it. His teacher always seems shocked when it happens. He acts like a bully when he is mad. He hurts and lashes out at the other kids.
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I think that some of his issues are attention seeking. I know that this is something that I really need to work on....giving him more attention when he gets on my last nerve. Why is it that kids do things to push you away when they really want you to be close? Why is it that I don't always see that?

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Some days I feel like a great parent and then other days I feel like I have fallen short. I believe that I have said it before, parenting hurt children is hard.

Girls Day

Larissa and I had a (mostly) girls day today. We started the day with a new hairstyle. If you look carefully you can see a heart.......
We went and checked out the local Heart Gallery......might have sent an inquiry on a child.

We met with Jason for lunch. Larissa loves Jason.

She is so happy playing with him.

So, why is it she couldn't talk to him today? Some days her selective mutism just slaps me in the face. At home she talks and talks and I can forget that she struggles so much. However, when we are out I really see how little she talks. But, to have her struggle to talk with Jason is painful.

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We had a great day. I haven't accomplished anything else today but I did get to spend some time with my baby girl. Priceless.

Just Plain Busy

This week has been so busy that I can't believe that it is only Wednesday. I thought that yesterday was Friday for sure. I do believe that I fell asleep in class yesterday. If I wasn't sleeping then is sure was zoning out.
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I was able to get Sarah and my nephew enrolled in a virtual school. We all went to Columbia on Monday for a mandatory orientation. They have been doing some testing and online orientation classes this week and will start classes on Friday. Sarah has English, chemistry, US history and German. She is real excited about being able to take German. She took it in Texas but it is not offered at the local school here.
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Tylor has been staying at our house this week until all the testing and orientation classes are over. I will be overseeing his education along with Sarah. His grandma, Cindy, does not have much computer knowledge.

Do not let the hats fool you, the house is warm enough. I am not sure what is going on with the hat thing, Sarah wants to wear hers all the time.
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I have so many school projects to do that I am constantly in a state of confusion. I need to find kids with intellectual disabilities, lots of them for lots of required projects. I also spend time in local schools throughout the week as well as attend my 4 classes. My free hours are very limited and the homeschooling has added more to my plate. For this reason I have decided that after our two foster kids go home we will not take any others until life is back to normal (well, our normal). I don't feel that it is fair to the foster children to have such little free time for them. We will continue to pursue adoption and make adjustments as needed if we get a call. This is a very hard decision for me to make but one that I feel is necessary at this time. I do believe that I have reached my limit, sigh.
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So far John has not been able to get back home. We are hoping that some jobs will open up this summer but we are getting frustrated. I am tired of being a single parent during the week and John is tired of being alone. We constantly think up different options but haven't come up with anything workable yet. I guess that we are just not very patient.
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Today I was watching the news while at the doctors office with Sarah (strep throat) and they talked about how house prices were falling again. This does not help our situation. I guess it doesn't matter anyways, with Cindy living here we just don't think that we can move away again. The last time we did Cindy was left without support and broke her ankle. She had no one to help her. I will try harder to be patient.....I know that we are lucky that John has a good job......but it is just hard sometimes.
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Sometimes I wish that I had more local friends, more support for myself. Seems like I am the support person for everyone else. John and I have always taken care of everyone else and have not been able to rely on anyone but ourselves. I don't have any friends to call on if I get sick or need a break. When the foster baby went into the hospital, John had to take time off of work to cover the hospital stays. I couldn't relieve him because I had the homefront. Sometimes I just want a friend, someone to talk with, go to lunch with or shopping. I don't know why it is so hard to find, I guess I just don't have the time.
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Well, enough of the whining......
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I am currently in search of new hair products for Larissa. Her hair is getting thicker and longer and I haven't found anything that we like. Anyone know of some good products for this hair type...................

Tomorrow will be a nice day. I plan on keeping Larissa home and having a girl day with her. We plan on doing lunch and just having some one on one time. Sometimes I just need to slow down and have those special times. Hopefully she will want something besides McDonald's!

Well, I am off to bed. My alarm goes off way too early and if I get to bed past midnight I have a tendency to press that little snooze button.

Medical History

Every time you see a new doctor you have the forms. The form I dread is the family medical history form. For several of my children I can write very little.
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For Joselin I do know that her grandmother was blind....I don't know why. I know that her mother was living and that she was very short......I have pictures so Joselin can see where she got some of her looks from. We met her in Guatemala but we didn't get much medical history. About the only thing we were told was that Joselin had an older sister who died from cancer. That was it: not what type of cancer, how old she was or anything else. Just she died of cancer.
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So, when I got the results that Joselin had abnormal results on her pap smear it concerned me. When our doctor sent a referral for a gyn doctor to determine if a biopsy is necessary it scared me. I don't know if any women in her biological family have had any of these types of problems. All I do know is that she had an older sister who died from cancer. Not much to go by. I just hope that the results were wrong.
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With Anthony and Larissa I know just a little more. The only reason I know a little more is because their case went on for so many years and we were able to see what medical issues the parents had. I also sat across from their mom on many visitation days trying to get Larissa comfortable before the visits and talked with their mom. Little bits of information were shared.
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Interesting to me is that they have a half brother with nocturnal seizures similar to Larissa. Anthony and this brother also share the inability to do math....I wonder if math abilities are genetic. I do know that with Anthony and Larissa the parents were asked for medical information, they didn't give any.
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I wonder how many folks out there are unable to fill out the family history portions of their medical forms. I wonder how many make it up instead of writing "unknown".
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Just another little challenge in the world of adoption.

Long Weekend

Well, my long weekend has come to an end....and I am definitely in pain!
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Yesterday I was up before the sun. I really don't like getting up before the sun.
Unfortunately I haven't been given any gear of my own so I got to wear a Kevlar helmet that was waayy too big. I was finally issued a jacket. I was so thankful for that jacket, it prevented me from freezing to death.
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Our objective was to get qualified on our weapons this weekend. You have to shoot down at least 23 pop-up targets out of 40. You do this in three types of positions. Before you try to qualify you zero in your weapon...laying face down in the cold, wet mud.
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My biggest challenge was trying to keep that helmet off of my eyes so that I could see the targets. By the end I was taking a break between pop-ups to hold up my very heavy head. Thus the pain......I obviously need to work on strengthening my neck muscles.
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I was able to qualify on my first attempt which meant no more laying in the mud. (This old lady can aim and shoot a weapon pretty well) However, others weren't so lucky so I got to stand around in my wet, muddy clothing all afternoon in the cold, wet, windy weather. I really do believe that I am getting too old for this....hmmmm, I think I may have said that before.
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I actually enjoy doing weapons qualifications....I just don't like cold weather.
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On the home front everyone survived. The baby has a cold, Kiwi was quite busy, Larissa enjoyed some time with Tasha, Anthony made some bad decisions, Sarah spent the weekend at Aunt Cindy's, Joselin made some very bad decisions and John was very happy to see me home.
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No rest for the weary, next week will be very full. I need to take care of some paperwork for my mom, follow up on the program for Sarah and fill out the paperwork for my nephew, follow up on a doctors note I received in the mail, return adoption paperwork, study, go to school for my practicum and my evening classes. I am sure I am missing something.
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I hope that everyone else had a great weekend and stayed nice and toasty warm....sigh. I will thaw out sometime in the spring.

Life in General

Today we withdrew Sarah from school. I am looking at enrolling her in some online classes. Just when my life is at its fullest I am looking at homeschooling. I promised Sarah when she went back to school that if she had more problems then I would pull her out and home school her. A promise is a promise, even if it comes at a bad time!
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I really find it sad that my daughter will not have any great memories of high school. All she will remember is the kids who bullied her. Girls can be so mean.
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The foster babies had a visitation today. They seem to be doing well with their visitations. I have had some kids who had major behavioral issues after a visit. It is nice to not have that. So far they still have a mid-March court date so we will see how that goes.
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The baby is doing so much better. Her eyes still water a lot but she is awake and happy more often. She is well on her way to being 100%. We still don't know definitely what her problem was. I wonder if she had a reaction to one of her immunizations.
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John came home on Thursday night and will be in charge all weekend. I have drill this weekend. It is supposed to be in the low 40's with rain in the morning. We will be out doing weapons qualifications. I really don't like the cold. Especially when they don't give you the right gear. Apparently they will have some cold weather gear but no gloves so I am taking a pair of my own black gloves. Ugh, did I mention that I don't like the cold? And I will get to sit out it in all day tomorrow, ugh. However, I keep telling myself to suck it up and not complain. So, I am complaining here but tomorrow I will not. I need to remind myself of that tomorrow when I am shivering. I would like to know who scheduled this activity in February. The odds of it being pretty cold in February are pretty good, even here in SC. But, I will not complain. (I am getting too old for this!)
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Tasha, her husband and some friends are staying here this weekend to go to a wedding. Naturally they come on a weekend when I will not be around. I really do miss having Tasha around, she left way too quickly for my likes. I guess we have to let them go sometime.
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Sigh, not much else going on. I am feeling down for some reason, I think it is stress. Classes are crazy and some of the projects I have to do are frustrating for me because I don't work in the school system. I need to find some students to work with and don't have the contacts. Wow, I feel like I am just complaining tonight. Maybe going off tomorrow and freezing will put me in a better mood.
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I think it is time for a project. They always make me feel better.

Bullying

I received a text message on my cell phone today. Sarah was pleading with me to have Jason pick her up, she was terrified that a girl was going to beat her up. This girl bullied Sarah in her freshman year but we were never able to get it to stop.
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We tried to work with the school that year and nothing stopped the bullying. Finally, after her anxiety got so bad, we had to pull her out of school the last month and do medical homebound. I determined that I was not going to let that happen again. My child should not be afraid to go to school. Should not come home in tears.
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After that miserable freshman year we moved to Texas. Sarah did not have any problems that year. None. Nada.
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We moved back to South Carolina this year and Sarah went back to the old school. The first semester was pretty good. She was also out of school for half the day at ATEC. This semester she is at the school all day.
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Shortly after this semester started the intimidations started. Bit by bit a small group of kids were starting to make her life miserable. Finally today a girl threatened to beat her up. The sad thing is I know why these kids pick on her....she is an easy target. She is small (4'11" and 100 lbs), she looks years younger then 17, she is timid, she forgives easily, she is quiet and causes no trouble.

Well, I have had enough. I went and picked her up from school and told them that I would be withdrawing her. They told me that I can't without joining a homeschool group.
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So, Sarah is going to be out of school sick until I can determine what homeschool group we will be joining. She is sick of the intimidations. Sick of the threats. Sick of the bullying.

Court Date

Ever wonder what happened to Jason's driving without a license ticket? He had court today, possible fine of $240. He went alone to tell his story of DMV mishaps and armed with receipts.
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Shortly afterwards I received a frantic call. He said to bring $35 to the court house or they were going to take him to jail. Apparently they dropped the ticket but he had to pay court fees.....or go to jail. Seriously, jail someone for a $35 court fee. Have I mentioned that the state of South Carolina is broke, they have to get their money from somewhere
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I did save him today and take his $35. He needs to be real thankful for his momma.
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Jason said that the courtroom had only people traffic ticket tickets. The judge told everyone that if they didn't have their money with them today that they would go to jail. period. Because so many people couldn't afford their ticket (unemployment is very high here) most of them asked for a jury by trial. This gave them a delay to try and get the money. So instead of making some type of payment plan for these folks, they force them to ask for whatever delay they can. Seems like a waste of judicial time. But, no one put me in charge.

Gotta Love It

Well, apparently the state refuses to allow us to be over the 5 child limit because we actually have 8 kids in the home right now. Wow, this is news to me! You just gotta love it when they do not update their own systems properly.
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Apparently when we changed L and L's names they didn't change them, they just added two new kids. I did tell the SW that they could feel free to send me all the backdated subsidies for those other two kids. Nah, she is changing the wrong information online.
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Actually, this is new. The system didn't have us with 6 kids when we were certified foster parents over the summer. I assume it happened at adoptions when we reopened that dusty file and restarted our paperwork to do a new home study. I guess someone is at work over there.
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The babies have a court date in Mid-March so I am not too worried about the number limit at this time. They will either correct it or they will procrastinate until the court date. They can do that when they want to. Of course, they could also move them tomorrow if we were blackballed in any way.
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Gotta love the system, otherwise you might just get a little jaded.
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John and I talked tonight, he wants to get out of foster care. He says that it takes away from the other kids. I agree to a certain point. I also think that it gives them so much. Larissa is such a little mom to those babies. She loves to play with them and wants to change diapers. I really think that it is a give and take and in the end it comes out even.
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Actually, my bigger concern is the instability of foster care. I do know without a doubt that these kids will go home, I just don't know when. So, the kids do understand that the kids will go home. They know that the foster babies have a mom and dad who are doing what they need to do to go home. It is actually easier then to say that I don't know. That unknown is harder for me to deal with, so I can only imagine how it would be for the kids.
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I don't know what the future will hold. My preference is to adopt and add a forever child but I know that it may not happen. I have seen families waiting a long time for a child to be matched with them. I guess we will do our part and see what comes our way. If we are meant to have another child then it will happen. I guess that is leaving it in God's hands. We will do our part and allow Him to do His.