Sometimes it is Hard

Yesterday I bought Anthony a new bed from a seller on Craigslist. I had been looking for a wooden bed with drawers on the bottom and a bookshelf as a headboard. I finally found one and promptly picked up my son Jason to go buy it (I never go to Craigslist buys alone). The bed looks great......... I think that this bed will last a while. When he was about 4 years old her had a similar bed. He literally kicked that bed to pieces. He had such anger issues and took them out on his bed.
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He has learned not to destroy things in his anger. He has improved. But there are days when I really don't know what is going on with him. He still struggles with some issues and I struggle with how to help him with them.
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I know that he still struggles with language issues, a direct result of no one talking to him before he came into care. When asked a question, he will often give a blank stare. He definitely has some processing issues. However, his language issues have not affected his ability to read, he does that well....strange.
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I find some of his issues hard to deal with because they are so erratic. At school he is great for weeks then something happens and he loses it. His teacher always seems shocked when it happens. He acts like a bully when he is mad. He hurts and lashes out at the other kids.
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I think that some of his issues are attention seeking. I know that this is something that I really need to work on....giving him more attention when he gets on my last nerve. Why is it that kids do things to push you away when they really want you to be close? Why is it that I don't always see that?

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Some days I feel like a great parent and then other days I feel like I have fallen short. I believe that I have said it before, parenting hurt children is hard.