Every time you see a new doctor you have the forms. The form I dread is the family medical history form. For several of my children I can write very little.
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For Joselin I do know that her grandmother was blind....I don't know why. I know that her mother was living and that she was very short......I have pictures so Joselin can see where she got some of her looks from. We met her in Guatemala but we didn't get much medical history. About the only thing we were told was that Joselin had an older sister who died from cancer. That was it: not what type of cancer, how old she was or anything else. Just she died of cancer.
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So, when I got the results that Joselin had abnormal results on her pap smear it concerned me. When our doctor sent a referral for a gyn doctor to determine if a biopsy is necessary it scared me. I don't know if any women in her biological family have had any of these types of problems. All I do know is that she had an older sister who died from cancer. Not much to go by. I just hope that the results were wrong.
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With Anthony and Larissa I know just a little more. The only reason I know a little more is because their case went on for so many years and we were able to see what medical issues the parents had. I also sat across from their mom on many visitation days trying to get Larissa comfortable before the visits and talked with their mom. Little bits of information were shared.
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Interesting to me is that they have a half brother with nocturnal seizures similar to Larissa. Anthony and this brother also share the inability to do math....I wonder if math abilities are genetic. I do know that with Anthony and Larissa the parents were asked for medical information, they didn't give any.
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I wonder how many folks out there are unable to fill out the family history portions of their medical forms. I wonder how many make it up instead of writing "unknown".
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Just another little challenge in the world of adoption.
Showing posts with label adoption challenges. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption challenges. Show all posts
Monday, February 7, 2011
Monday, March 29, 2010
Testing boundaries - 2279 texts in 10 days
How is it possible for a teenager to make 2279 texts in ten days? On top of that she had 1841 minutes! Those 1841 minutes are the reason I cancelled Joselin's cell phone. Our contract with Sprint only has 1500 minutes. All my teens know that if you misuse your cell phone, you lose your cell phone. Calling hours are after 7pm unless it is an emergency. Joselin must have had an awful lot of emergencies.
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I find it sad that Joselin just can't seem to learn to accept boundaries. All but two of those texts were sent to boys and she called home only once. I had checked the minutes at 5 days and saw that she was at 800 minutes and told Kim to take the phone away, Joselin found a way to get the phone back. She is my first kid to permanently lose the cell phone. If she wants one now she will have to buy it herself.
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When she was home she found ways to separate herself from the family. Her biggest device in crime was her IPod. She constantly had headphones in her ears. It make it easier for her to ignore us. The IPod was frequently confiscated as was her cell phone. It always made me look like the bad guy. She complained that she wasn't treated like the other kids. It may seem that way because she didn't typically have their freedoms and accessories. However, the kids all had the same expectations and rules, she just chose to ignore them.
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I find it sad that Joselin just can't seem to learn to accept boundaries. All but two of those texts were sent to boys and she called home only once. I had checked the minutes at 5 days and saw that she was at 800 minutes and told Kim to take the phone away, Joselin found a way to get the phone back. She is my first kid to permanently lose the cell phone. If she wants one now she will have to buy it herself.
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When she was home she found ways to separate herself from the family. Her biggest device in crime was her IPod. She constantly had headphones in her ears. It make it easier for her to ignore us. The IPod was frequently confiscated as was her cell phone. It always made me look like the bad guy. She complained that she wasn't treated like the other kids. It may seem that way because she didn't typically have their freedoms and accessories. However, the kids all had the same expectations and rules, she just chose to ignore them.
When we adopted Joselin we had such high hopes for her. At some point I realized how naive we had been. You can give a child a home, love, education, opportunities, it doesn't mean that they will be open to accepting them. I do believe that she learned some things in our home that she will take with her, I just wish that it was more.
Joselin has been gone since the end of January and unfortunately the main reaction from the other kids is relief. My main feeling is guilt. I feel that in some way that I failed Joselin. I know that I didn't. At some point she had to step up and be a willing participant in our family. She didn't, she just worked hard at being an outsider. I have thought that I had a relationship with her, but no one else in the family does. Sometimes I even wonder about our relationship, was it just because she needed someone? Is she just using me? Is it all lies? How do you have a relationship with someone who admits to you that they have told you so many lies that sometimes they don't even remember the truth themselves?
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