Sunday, February 27, 2011

2 Hours

Two hours a month....that is how much visitation my foster babies get. I know that I complain about the disruption that visitation can have for the kids, but really visitation is important. It is important for the kids to form an attachment with their parents. For the parents to attach with their children.
.
But, seriously, how much of that is going on in a small crowded room in 2 hours a month? How would you feel seeing your baby for only 2 hours a month? How much do you miss?
.
I know that the kids are in care for a reason. I know that they need protected. I know that the parents have things they need to work through.
.
However, the ones hurt by the months of little contact time are the kids. How well does my 12 month old know her parents? Surely not very well.
.
In our state the kids go home the same day the courts determine they can go. There is no period of transition. We find out at court that they are going home and then we go home and pack them up and take them to DSS that same day.
.
So, a baby who has seen their parents for two hours a month for almost a year is suddenly taken from the home they know and placed with their parents who they don't know.
.
This concerns me. I have two little ones who do not understand what is going on. Two little ones who are used to our routine, our home and are attached to us.
.
I am pretty confident that these kids will go home. I am pretty sure that at some point these kids will go back home and they will not understand. I am concerned about their attachment to us. They do have an attachment to us. We have an attachment to them. However, we understand what is happening. We know that they will be leaving. The biggest pain for me is knowing that they do not understand. Will they think we have abandoned them?
.
So, what can be done about it?
.
We have asked for and received permission to meet with the parents of our foster kids. We can do extra visitations on our time. We have done this before when we knew kids were going home.
.
Today we spent two hours at McDonald's. A local McDonald's with a play space. They got to hold their babies, feed them, play with them for two hours. It isn't much in the big picture but it is something. It is more time for the babies to attach with their parents. We will not meet next weekend because I have drill. However, we will meet again the next weekend.
.
Ultimately, it feels like the right thing to do for my babies.

2 comments:

  1. When it was close to the court date, our case workers would start all day Saturday visits and then weekend visits if possible.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really wish that they did that here. I honestly think that they should have more visitation then 2 hours a month. But, we live in a small town in a small county and they don't have resources.

    ReplyDelete