Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Lost a Babysitter

Well we have lost a babysitter. Well, we didn't literally lose her, but we have lost her services. Joselin no longer has any responsibilities over the kids. When she came home she was very helpful around the house and seemed to be trying to be nice with the kids.
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However, she has slowly reverted back to her old ways. She is mean to the kids and does not treat them the way I like. So, she is off of babysitting duty. Along with the loss of responsibilities is the loss of income for her. I pay each girl $100/month for babysitting. I put the money into their bank accounts and they have debit cards to buy their stuff. The idea was to help them learn to budget and keep track of their money. But, no work equals no income.
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Sarah was watching the kids before Joselin came home so she will do fine. Actually Sarah has told me that she would rather be in charge of the kids because she doesn't like the way Joselin treats them. Sarah's biggest problem is that she is too easy. The main person who takes advantage of that is Anthony. He talks terribly to her and outwardly defies her. This is something that we have dealt with for a long time. Anthony can smell a weak person a mile away and takes advantage of them. If anyone has a good way of dealing with this issue, please share it with me! Actually I am considering some type of star chart or something so that they can earn ....uh, something. Like I said, I am still in the contemplating stage. I hope to have something in place for next week.
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I really don't know where we stand with Joselin right now. She does seem to care about school right now and seems to be trying to pass her classes. In April she will take the exit exam and I am curious to see where she stands on that. If she is too far from being able to pass then I wonder if she will lose her motivation for classes.
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As much as she cares for school she seems to not care at all about the family. She is mean to all the kids to include Sarah and even the baby. Most of the time she is fine with me but historically that has been the case. I have had a few incidents where she has been yelling at me and naturally I correct her. I have also caught her in lies so that hasn't changed. I can't forget that she told me that she lies to me so much that she doesn't even know the truth anymore. I have also had some small things taken and when I found the items in her room she claims that she was only borrowing it. We are still missing Sarah's IPod touch and I have my suspicions. Sometimes I feel like she is just a boarder in our home waiting for a better opportunity to come along.
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We have given her more freedoms since she got back since she is 17 and will be 18 years old this summer. It really has not gone well. She has made some very bad decisions for herself. At this point I can only hope that she is learning something from her mistakes.
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Yep, we have lost a babysitter...........but I can't help but feel that we have lost so much more.

4 comments:

  1. That is very hard. I know what you mean by just a boarder in your home. Hang in there because summer is coming and time will tell.

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  2. Great lesson to teach. You can get fired from your job for poor performance. No job = no $$. Great job.

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  3. I'm sorry for the "yuck" going on. It scares me to think I have a "mini" version of this going on with eldest. My bio daughter can be mean- she is FAR, FAR from perfect. But, there is a line I know and trust she will not cross from years of instilling our values on her and her personal character. It's not eldest fault she didn't have it; but she doesn't seem to strive to get it now either. So, I can never trust her alone with the much younger siblings :( I wonder what I will be writing when she is 17 yrs old :(

    I read a post a while back that I always keep in the back of my mind when I'm trying to influence how the "one who often is left oversee the younger ones and hopes to be a babysitter to them soon" and the younger ones relate. Perhaps it's some helpful ideas to help Anthony here? http://inashoe.com/2009/01/charge-system-big-ones-helping-little-ones/

    Blessings, Jennifer

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  4. I enjoyed the post and blog. Many of those things I do with my kids. Joselin lost her jub specifically for being mean to the kids, overusing her authority. The main problem with Anthony is he doesn't respect anyone he perceives as weak. It is not only Sarah who he will defy but his Aunt Cindy, bus drivers and many teachers. If he thinks that you don't have control he will take over. I really feel that part of this is because he needs to feel that the person will keep him safe.

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