Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year, New Possibilities

Welcome to 2011. I just have one question...where did 2010 go? Actually, where did 2009, 2008, oh heck, when did we welcome the new century?
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The days, months and years just seem to be zipping past me. Funny, I don't feel old but when I was a kid my current age seemed ancient. According to my 10 year old self it is amazing that I am still standing without the aid of a cane.
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I have no new year resolutions. I just plan on sputtering along doing the best I can and growing whenever I see the opportunity. Oh, I have lots of projects planned in my head but I always have those. If I ever actually finish all of them then I don't know what I would do with myself.
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Today I did an irresponsible thing. I cancelled Kiwi's WIC appointment. I had a class earlier this week for the baby so I have vouchers for formula. Waiting for hours with Kiwi so they can do their little medical thing and get vouchers for her cereal and milk just didn't seem to be worth my time. I rescheduled for next week because I try to keep them for mom whenever they go home. Instead John and I went to a movie, World Market and the bookstore. Just the two of us, no kids. It was such a luxury.
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To make up for my irresponsibility I, actually we, put our adoption packet in the mail. Maybe the new year will bring a new child into our home. We had been holding onto the packet waiting for the best time. Waiting for everything to be just right. But, I don't think that there will ever be a perfect time when everything is just right. If I wait for that day I would never send that packet out. I would never open my home to another child.
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We aren't searching any photolistings at this time. We just want our information to go into the database and see what happens. We are taking a leap of faith and know that it may very well be a wild ride. Don't those wild rides make like worth living?
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I was thinking the other day how our life would be if we had never adopted. Our baby would have been Sarah and she is 17 years old. We would not have kids in preschool and elementary school. We would be past all the field trips and Girl Scout days. We would have the freedom to go to any movie we wanted without worrying about child care issues. We could travel more. We could sleep in more. We would have more money in the bank (well maybe not, good thought though).
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But, I don't think that God intended for us to have that life. We have always taken care of others, starting with my father in law with Alzheimer's to my mother with stroke issues. Along the way we have adopted three children and fostered more. God blessed us with the ability to have a huge house, I don't think that it was meant to sit empty. I think that it was meant to be filled.
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How simple it would be to not care for others. How selfish it would be too. My life is enriched and filled. Some days with heartache but many days with love and blessings.
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We have children with medical issues and emotional issues. We deal with them every day. But the thing is we deal with them. Our normal seems overwhelming to others but it is our normal. It does not seem like too much of a burden to me. Why is that? Why does it not seem like such a huge burden to me? I think that it is because it is what I am supposed to be doing. It is my gift and it would be a shame to waste it.
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2011 is here, what will it bring?
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Happy New Year and may you have many blessings this new year.

5 comments:

  1. Remember when everyone was afraid all the computers etc would crash when we hit 2000?

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  2. Ha, yes, and after all that scare what happened? Nothing at all! LOL

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  3. I don't blame you for postponing WIC for some Adult time. We all need that no matter how much we love our kids!

    Happy New Year, I love your sunny outlook!

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  4. You're right in that there is never a perfect time for kids. Just like there is no perfect man. Haha! See why I was single so long?

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  5. I keep telling Felicia that I look forward to growing old gracefully. With my youngest being five, I don't think that the graceful part is going to happen.

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