Time

Around 2 am here and I can't sleep.  This will not be good for tomorrow!  Regardless of whether I sleep or not the kids will need to get off to school and mom will need to be attended to.  I also have class tomorrow night. 

On one of my previous posts I received comments regarding how much I get done with my time.  Lately I have worried about my time.  Time has a way of getting away from me.  My kids are growing up and I worry that the days slip by too fast.  Today Larissa was reading me a page of her chapter book.  Sure, she didn't have any fluency but I can remember just a few months ago that she was struggling with her popcorn words so much that I worried that she may have a reading problem. 

She is about to lose her top teeth....where has my baby gone?  I wonder if she feels it too.  She wanted to be with us in church two Sundays ago and fell asleep in my lap.  Believe me, she has a specific way of folding into me or it couldn't be done.  I wonder how young she will be when she is taller then me.

Sarah is now 18 and will graduate this year.  She is looking at college and doing all the typical things attached with that.  Excited one day and then terrified the next.  I really don't recall giving her permission to grow up.  I know that they do that, I just don't like it.  Some part of me wants them under my roof and under my protection always.  Of course, I also want them to grow up and be prepared to launch.  Have families of their own.  Be productive members of society.  Be happy.

But sometimes I worry that in all my busyness I miss things.  Do I take the time I should with them?  Do I notice the things I should?  Do I spend as much time with them as I should?

Sometimes it is the other way around.  Do they notice what I am doing and learn from me what they should?  The other day I was putting my mom to bed (really picking her up and putting her in bed) and Lily was watching me.  I guess she didn't realize how much help my mom needed.  She talked for quite a while about taking care of moms.  Hey, I guess that is a good thing to teach.  I didn't have to teach it to her, she just watched.

So even though I do alot and wear a lot of hats doesn't mean that I always feel accomplished.  Sometimes I feel quite lacking.

I think that in a few years all my little ones will no longer need me so much and I will wonder what to do with all of my time.  I guess that this is just my season for busyness.

(Of course, great prepared meals and a clean house are often top of the list for lacking and matching socks is quite an event here.)