Monday, February 27, 2012

Loss of Control

Today I thought that I had an appointment to take the teen to an appointment at a location that is an hour away.  I got everything lined up and off we went.  We got there just in time to be told that the appointment is on Wednesday.  Nice....well, not really!  I didn't make this appointment, the social worker did.  I still have the email, yep, today.  I was polite when I left a message with the SW letting her know that it was on Wednesday.  Apparently the place here the appointment is at wasn't so polite in their message to her.  That is the life of a foster parent, we don't always make the appointments but we need to get the kid there.

You often have no control over these types of issues.  Sometimes I have to stop and remember that these are not my children.  We get to care for these children in most ways but they are not ours. Every scratch and bump has to be reported.  With the two little ones I have been kind of slack on reporting.  I think it is because I can never get in touch with their social worker.  Dimples had a rug burn from day care on the bottom of her chin.  At the last visit the parents asked what happened and Lily said that she burned it on the stove top!  Yea, I got questions when I picked them up.  Uh, no her chin doesn't even reach the stove top.  Note to self:  email about every scratch from now on!

 I find it interesting that we are not allowed to cut foster children hair.  We get to deal with it but have no control over it.  For two years I corn-rowed Anthony's hair.  In our family boys had short hair so it went against my families beliefs.  Too bad, beyond your control.

Every month we have social workers visit our home, quarterly we have a licensing work come by, soon (hopefully) we will have adoption workers, we get to be fingerprinted, have annual SLED checks, health inspections of the home, and fire inspections.  If you have a need to control and privacy then foster care is not for you!

We do not have control over many things but neither do the children.  We at least know what we have signed up for and know that we have to accept it to continue to do what we do.  The kids have even less control then we do. 

So, I am off to study.  I had planned on doing that today at the appointment because I knew that it was one of those types of appointments where you sit around a lot.  Wednesday I get to take a road trip again!

1 comment:

  1. Yes, I found out yesterday they want to make an appointment for our foster teen 2 hrs away. I know the social worker would go if I complained but I think not going would hurt my teen. I'm the mom (in this house at least). I feel like I'm the mom until the social workers come in and take over (some what). Its a strange feeling.