Monday, January 2, 2012

Trying Times

Life has been very trying for me lately and I don't want all my posts to come off so negative so I haven't been posting. However, the last couple of days have been challenging.

The room that Dimples and Lily share used to be a dining room. There are two entrances to that room. One is an opening with a board and bookcase against it. The other entrance is a door going into the kitchen. I was planning on drywalling the entrance at the front of the house but hadn't gotten to it. Well, Dimples has figured out that she can move that bookcase and get out.

After sleeping on it I realized that if I put a door up there and drywall the other entrance going into the kitchen then I can add some cabinets to my kitchen.  My kitchen is very small.  I assume that the designer had a wife who did not cook and didn't realize the importance of a kitchen.  Sorry, no pictures tonight!  Too messy.

My husband is helping with this project.

They do not sell doors wide enough to fit the space so we have to make changes to the opening.  I went to bed one night knowing that I would need to repair drywall after we changed the size of the opening.  I woke up with a plan to just make some trim to fit the space.  We went to Lowe's and looked at their wider trim and realized that the size I wanted cost $17 a piece.  I would need 5 pieces (to do both sides).  So instead I am designing my own trim.

The door isn't finished.  When you have to rip boards and create your own stuff it takes longer.  When the kids are still home from school and daycare it takes forever!

The sneaking out the back door isn't a big deal.  However, there was one incident yesterday that sent me to my bedroom thinking that I really don't have to deal with this if I don't want to.

Dimples was in a 5 minute time-out in her bedroom when she decided to pee on her floor.  Then she added some clothing, hangers and hardback books.  She assumed that she would then come out of her room.  I took one look at her slipping and sliding in her pee and told her that she was not coming out.  This caused serious screaming on her part.  I handed her a laundry basket and told her to put all the clothing inside of it.  After screaming and rolling in her pee she did do that.  Next I told her to stack up the hangers so I could wash them.  After a struggle she did that and wanted out.  I told her to put the peed on books in the trash.  She did and screamed to come out.  I handed her a wet soapy rag and told her to clean the floor then I left to go to my own time out.  I wasn't ready to deal with her.  That was when I thought that I didn't create these behavioral issues and I didn't have to live with it if I didn't want to.  I am not a saint.  I have doubts. 

I really worry about Dimples.  There is something so far off.  I am frustrated because the therapist that they sent us to saw her 30 minutes of cuteness and says that there is nothing wrong.  She is willing to work with Lily.  Well, honestly I think that with time Lily will be fine.  I could take her to any therapist who is much closer to my house.  Our SW wants us to continue to take her to this therapist.  We have decided not to.  If they want her to see her bad enough they are welcome to take her there.  Dimples has an appointment this week with our family doctor to see where we can get help.  Our family doctor is well aware of our experiences and if I tell her there is a problem she believes me.

Today, new day, new meltdown.  We have been dealing with Nintendo DS's and those tiny games for years now.  We have a system, the games are on a box on my desk and they are for every one's use.  However, you are only allowed one game at a time.  You bring one back and can take a different one.  This prevents lost games and hoarding of the favorite games.  After lunch the kids have a quiet time.  They don't have to sleep and can play their Nintendo's, color or read.  Dimples was heading to her quiet spot obviously hiding something....she was hiding three games.  For this she lost her DS for the day.  She screamed for an hour for her DS.  Didn't work.  Lily came to me and told me that when she screamed for something before that they just gave it to her.  Nope, doesn't work in our house.

Later in the day conversation:

Me:  You screamed for an hour today for your DS, why did you lose it?
Dimples: Because I wanted it.
Me:  Why did you lose it?
Dimples:  Because I took more then one game (she knew the rule).
Me:  True, you screamed for an hour because you broke a rule and didn't want the consequence.  Since you had such a huge reaction I have to assume that you are tired and tonight you will go to bed 30 minutes early.
Dimples:  OK

The thing that is tiring is that it is constant.  She tore up her board books and said that they were hers and she could if she wants to.  She takes everyone stuff.  She has to be in sight at all times.  I do not trust her at all.

When we are finished with the bedroom it will be barren; no books, no toys, no clothing....nothing but two beds, bedding and dresser.   The dresser may even have to come out since she likes to climb on it.  I wonder how long the blinds will last in the room.  I have to laugh; on the first SW visit they told me that maybe Dimples would sleep later of there were curtains in the bedroom.  I told her that it was still dark at 4-5am when she got up and that there were curtains in the room when they moved in.  SW comment - Oh!

Lily, still anger and worry.  Her sister's behavior worries her.  I can understand.  She is working on some specific improvements so that she can move up into Larissa's bedroom.  She knows what she has to do and is working hard to get there.  I don't think that it is healthy for her to share a room with her sister.  The other day we were talking and I was comforting her, when we hugged it felt real.  Hard to explain.  I have hope for her.  With time she will heal.  Another move would devastate her.

In good news, our family room is back to our normal.....

Have a Blessed Day


  1. Your conversation sounds just like the ones I have with D10. He can RAGE for hours, some times most of the day because he didn't get (fill in the blank, or he did (_____) that he knew wasn't ok.

    The good news for him is he is doing MUCH better, but it has been 2 years. I do think the turning point was when I started him on the homeopathic meds we are doing. He seems to have mellowed inside enough to process life instead of rage against it.

    Hang in there! I feel your pain!


  2. We are dealing with much of the same thihngs but ours is much milder. I've been planning to e-mail you as a reality check and to make sure I'm not over doing consequences but I have to sit down and type it all out.