"WOW! You can care less if these children are back with their parents! How cruel and unjust!!! As a former foster child I must tell you that what comes around goes around!"
The previous was a comment left for me. I have changed my comments so that I can moderate the comments. You can still post as anonymous but I will moderate so that not everyone has to read foul language. Difference of opinions are allowed as long as they are respectful.
The foster care system is not perfect but I feel that it is necessary. When you pick up a child from the burn clinic with an iron imprint on his face or deal with a child who has been so neglected that he appears to have an intellectual disability even though he doesn't then you will understand the need for child protective services.
If you have read my blog long enough you would know that I do encourage reunification. I try to help the parents whenever I can and even do extra visits at my own time and expense to help with attachments. I still have contact with some previous parents and still encourage them in their parenting when they ask me for help. I even maintain some contact with the parents of the children I have adopted......even to visiting the one who lives in the park (who by the way thanks me for taking care of his children).
I do believe that if there is any way possible, that being raised by your biological parents is best. If not them then a family member is good too. That biological/genetic contact is so important. That is why I keep contact with my kids siblings (no family member has ever come forward).
HOWEVER, if the parent is not able to take care of their child then I do believe that termination of parental rights is in the best interest of the child. Ultimately my interest is in the child. The child is the victim in the entire situation. They have no control. I also think that worse then getting TPR for the child is not having an adoptive family afterwards. I can't imagine not having any family at all. Everyone needs a family whether a child or adult. Everyone needs a home to come to on the holidays.
We are the 7th home for our children. Imagine their anger and terror. They are afraid of leaving us. They are afraid that we will send them away like all their last homes. They want permanence. They want a family.
Yes, knowing what I know, I do not want them to go home. As a foster parent I really have no control over that decision. I can only take care of the children and pray that the system does what is right for the children. I don't know what their parents want since they didn't go to court....or visit for months.
I want for my children to heal and that really won't happen until they have permanence and stability and know that they are in their forever home.
Cruel and unjust....for who?