Saturday, March 28, 2020

Strange Comments

I have now had two people tell me that we do wrong by our kids because they will not be able to afford the things we give to them when they grow up. For example, someone told me that I shouldn’t buy Anthony his designer shoes because when he grows up he won’t be able to afford them. Just yesterday I was told that our kids won’t be able to option our level of income so is it fair to them to expose them to it. Both times I was shocked. For one, don’t write my kids abilities off. Then I am confused. So we shouldn’t be taking the kids on vacations because they won’t be able to afford them as adults? Huh?! I enjoy sharing vacation time with my kids. I find that train of thought to be strange and insulting. But now I have two people tell me that so it makes me wonder. Also, allowing Larissa to follow her dream is wrong as well. 

We are doing ok financially. Yes, by world standards we are rich. By US standards we are not rich but we are comfortable. We didn’t start that way. Our first place was an apartment. Our first home a $70,000 starter home in St. Louis. We talk to the kids about that. About working hard and starting at the bottom. We also tell them not to expect to get rich with a big inheritance, divide that bit of money by 11 doesn’t add to much. However, we do offer the opportunity to go to college with Johns GI Bill. In our state they can get free tuition if they go to a state college. They also can receive about $1000/month if they are going full time. Sarah is going to a private Christian school so she doesn’t get the free tuition but does get the monthly stipend. This also applies to trade school. It is there and available if they strive for it.

My dad was an electrical engineer and was very comfortable. He took us on vacations and bought us our first car. I sure hope that no one said to him that he shouldn’t do that for us because we would not be able to afford those things when we were adults. Is it because they are adopted that people have such low expectations for them? Is this a normal thought process?

Anyway, late night ramblings. The comments bothered me the first time. Now that someone else has said it I don’t know what to think. Go buy the kids lower value things because they won’t be able to afford those things as adults?! Don’t give them all we do so they aren’t used to experiencing what we give?! What do you guys think? As you read do you feel the same way?

8 comments:

  1. I think those comments are strange and disturbing. Do they give their children birthday gifts based on what they believe their children's income will be later in life? Please ignore them. I find you and your family inspirational. Thank you for sharing your journey.

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  2. I think that you are doing what any loving parent wants to do for their children. You are making memories that will last a lifetime. You are supporting their dreams. You are showing them what their future can be. You have the means to give them a good education. ?You are preparing them to be functioning adults who do not need to depend on an inheritance. Keep doing what you do.

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  3. I have never thought that! We take our kids on vacations, buy them things, etc. Why wouldn't I? If they choose not to work hard and have nice things as adults, that's on them. I read your blog and am always amazed at how many cool things you do with them. Not monetarily, but arts and crafts, experiences, etc.

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  4. Oh Lord my blood pressure went sky high as I read this blog. I am truly clueless why anyone would say these things let alone think them. I believe you love your children and with that comes sharing with them. Why did I bust my butt making a nice living if I don't share it with my children. I struggled when I started but my motivation was to give my kids a nice life.

    Ignore everyone and you do what you believe is best.

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  5. Please ignore those comments. you guys are amazing parents who truly do what's best for all your children

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  6. Those comments are ridiculous! They are YOUR children and you get to raise them the way YOU choose. Set the standards high. Make them reach for the stars. There is no limit to what they can do and be if they put the effort and work into it.

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  7. I wonder if those who made the comments understand the nature of a gift. A gift is not something earned or deserved. We all give our children and loved ones gifts that have nothing to do with the recipients financial situation. Very strange comments.

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