Tuesday, August 21, 2012


Last night I realized that I have got to get Anthony's disrespect under control.  He made my mom cry.  He sees her as weak so he picks on her.  He will walk past her and say little things or do little things to her that upset her.  He knows what he is doing. He has been corrected on this exact issue before.  He continues to do it.

I find it sad that we have not found a way to stop this behavior in him.  It is not just my mom, it is also that way with the teenagers and at church.  He will be sitting with us at church from now on.  It is sad that he can't go to the children's program.  He simply does not respect anyone who is kind.  He sees them as weak. 

He came that way at the tender age of 2 1/2.  How do you change it?  Everything we have tried has failed.  I have been working on a very cool Marvel Comics room for him to get him out of the FROG.  He loves the room but is not willing to do what he needs to get there.  At this rate there may be a different boy in there besides Anthony!

(the bottom is now grey, not purple)

For the time being Anthony is my shadow.  He is not allowed to be alone with my mom at all.  He disrespects the teens so when I have to go run an errand he gets to wait in his bedroom until I return. 

He has also lost his new shoes.  Funny, that seems to be the only thing that bothers him.  Following me around doesn't bother him.  Not moving into the new room doesn't bother him.  Losing his Nike's hurts.  Obviously he is motivated by material things. 

It is so hard when you see your kids with behaviors that you know will not help them in the long run.  When he acts that way it always reminds me of his biodad.  During one of his court appearances he flat out told the judge that he wasn't going to do anything and they were going to give him back his kids.  He was threatening to her and she was actually afraid of him.  He also tried to take the kids during one visit.  He truly thought that he would get his way through intimidation.  Obviously it didn't work out the way he planned. It hasn't helped him as he has been in and out of jail or living in the park. 

Is it possible that this is a bipolar thing?  Could it be a fetal alcohol thing?  Or is it simply from the severe early neglect.  So severe that he tested as MR.  The one thing that we have been learning at school is that all that doesn't matter.  You have to treat the behavior regardless of the cause.  I need to keep that in mind as I start a new plan of attack. 

First we are going to learn how to mimic respect while under my very watchful eye.  Sigh, I am already tired.


1 comment:

  1. YES!!! Tired! Dealing with behaviors is draining. I have one that cannot go off the carpet into the kitchen without permission and a shadow. She takes everything. She doesn't care whose it is. She did this twice last night. She had to give her homemade strawberry shake to the person whose stuff she took. She's already doing the jobs of two other people to pay back special treats she took. Her lunch has to be stapled. She just scowled.

    Let me know what works for A.