Friday, March 9, 2012

Progress Report

I received a call from the teens adoption worker.  We know each other, she was Anthony and Larissa's adoption worker.  She will be visiting at the end of the month and will bring any paperwork that we need to do.  I haven't looked at my homestudy lately but I don't remember if our ages were up to 17.  I doubt it because we weren't thinking teenager when we started our homestudy.  The homestudy may need to be amended to change the age.  We were approved for 4 kids so we fall within that criteria.  I know that our foster care license has to be renewed in June, not sure about the adoption homestudy (they have to be renewed annually).

The girls.....doing so much better.  Still dealing with occasional tantrums and frequent tattling and lying.  Dimples is moving up in age, she is no longer 2.  I would put her at close to 4 year old now!  She still has some emotional issues that we are trying to pinpoint.  We are definitely dealing with attachment issues.  Our new therapist is very familiar with DSS children so her comment was, "given their history naturally they have attachment issues and behavior problems."  She wants to put a stop to the visits.  I am not sure if she will accomplish that or not.  Visits are a very touchy thing.  Doesn't matter if they refuse drug testing or not, visits go on.

All three of the girls are very close.  They sometimes fight and say mean things to each other however, I have been surprised at how quickly they have bonded.  Larissa and Dimples are VERY close.  I believe that this closeness has helped Dimples to grow emotionally. I think that in some ways Lily is more mature.  She has dealt with some issues that Larissa has not.  Also, Lily was very mean when she first arrived so she is having to overcome that.  She wants to but she struggles.

The girls all want to sleep in Larissa's bedroom.  We tried tonight but it didn't go too well.  After thinking about it I just don't think that they know how to sleep together in the same room.  So tomorrow we are going to try again except for this time I am going to sit and study right outside of the bedroom open door and help them out.  Larissa's cries of, "I don't want to be alone" did push me in that direction.  We have had other foster kids who needed that to settle down at night. 

When I was talking about my teens adoption worker Lily started talking about her parents.  It is so confusing to kids when the parents disappear for months and then then reappear as though nothing happened.  Guess what....the kids noticed.  I asked her what she thought about her visitations and she told me that she wondered if they would go back home.  I asked her if she wanted to (expecting that she would, something about that biological home).  She surprised me by saying no, she wants to stay here.  Knowing some of the recent legal things I know I told her that she would be staying and the visits wouldn't change that.  She was relieved.  I am annoyed, not at Lily, but at the lawyer who hasn't filed for TPR.  I know that I have said it before, but dang, they need stabilization.  Not just long term foster care but name changing, your ours forever stabilization. 

Anthony....well he plays with the girls alot but he wants to know when the boys are coming!

On that note, have a great evening.


  1. Hi Felicia, I came across your blog and added it to my blogroll a couple of months back. Last night I went back to the beginning and read the whole thing. For a solid 7 hours. Thanks so much for telling it as it is. I live just outside of Orlando, FL. My husband, our two kids (9 & 5), and I are in the early stages of our first adoption. Reading through your restless posts while you waited to be matched with Lily and Dimples resonated with me completely. That's where we are right now...waiting to be matched. Some of the stuff I read was hard to hear, of course. It was not news to me, but still hard to rad. But so much of what you have written it was really encouraging. Like you, adoption is a strong, undeniable calling for Matt and me. I'm adopted and I have always known I would adopt. The time is now. Reading everything you have to say gives me so much hope. If God calls us to it, He'll walk through it with us, even when your floors are soaked with pee, or when your husband and child are in a hospital 100 miles away, or when you can't get the help you need from your doctors. So thank you for your transparency. I am praying for each of your precious children and the unique needs they each have. I am praying for the right, local job for your wonderful husband. I am praying for forward progress for your sweet mom. I am praying for movement in the girls' cases, and that you'll be able to finalize this thing and give them the permanency that they need. I am praying that things continue to go smoothly with your teen, and that soon she'll be able to claim you as hers forever. Mostly though, I am praying for you. You are amazing! When the kids look back on their childhood, their memories will not be of a messy house or the times when Mom lacked gumption. They will remember the castle bed that Mommy built, the family vacations, the playhouse, the time when they were anxious and scared and Mommy sat outside their door until they fell asleep. They will remember the buckeyes at Christmas and the playhouse and the hairbows and the cuddles. And hopefully, they will remember that you loved them when they were going through their worst of times, and that you stuck with them when no one else did. You are amazing and an inspiration to so many. Keep on blogging! I can't wait to see how God rolls out the rest of your story. P.S. We're rolling through Columbia in 10 days on our way to Greenville. I'll wave to you as we come through.

  2. Emily, thank you for the prayers. I am glad that you appreciate what I write. I just try to give an honest snapshot. It isn't all roses but it isn't all terrible either. I can't help but wonder if my girls last adoptive placement was more aware of the issues they would get with the girls when they came and what the potential of stability would be if there would have been a different outcome. I will have to follow your blog and see what placement you get. What excitement! You will probably get the call at the most inconvenient time.