Monday, December 26, 2011

Holidays With Neglected Children

Holiday time is supposed to be a joyful time.  However, for a foster child that may not be the case.  Holiday time may be a time when behaviors come out that you never expect.  Everyone is busy, routines are changed, stress levels are high and past memories may not be joyful for them.  It is possible that they may equate holidays with abuse.

It has become quite apparent that Dimples does not do holidays well.  Her anxiety level gets so high that her tantrums erupt.  She also does not do so well when I leave home.  John and I went on a movie date today and she screamed at home through most of it.  I have some serious concerns about Dimples.  She is a very bright child but emotionally she is more like a 2 to 3 year old child.  She even requires a sippy cup.  I hope that time will help with this but it almost feels like something is our of balance with her.

I did learn something new this weekend.......Lily was often punished when Dimples misbehaved.  Every time Dimples had one of her tantrums Lily would come to me and ask me if I was mad at her.  Each time I told her I wasn't, her sister's behavior belongs to her and not Lily.  At dinner time Lily asked me again and I told her that each child is responsible for their own actions.  That was when she told me that when her sister got in trouble she was punished along with her.  Nice...add this to the number of homes who told her that she had to move because of her sister.  I know that each time her sister tantrums Lily has to have a gut wrench feeling that she will be moved again.  That is not a way for a child to live.  I also think that it is the reason that she wants a name change...a claiming.

Tomorrow it is back to the appointment mode as I take two kids to the big city.  It feels like my time to accomplish things is quickly coming to an end.  After the stress level of last semester, I am only taking two classes next semester to keep my workload at a manageable level.

I am off to read some blogs and head to bed after doing a little pick up.  Eventually our home will get back to its normal messiness.

Have a great day.


  1. At least as it comes out you can address it. Too many moves is never good for a child.

  2. I appreciate you sharing what you have learned/are learning about parenting kids from very hard places. I know many don't understand why it's so hard for our family to participate in things that change the general routine. Holidays/vacations...they wipe me out. The costs have been high from it all the past couple of days. I'm tired and glad Christmas is over. I'm sad too that it has to be like this because it's suppose to be about Him. But, how can it be when it's all you can do to keep all of