Thursday, September 22, 2011

Warning: Part 2

I didn't post about yesterdays issues because honestly I was still mad about the events of the day.  I am still mad today but not quite so much.  I don't get real mad very often.  I am pretty patient and forgiving.  I wasn't feeling it yesterday.

It all started with a car trip to gymnastics.  Just Larissa and I were in the car.  She asked me if Joselin was going to come home.  I told her no.  She then proceeded to tell me all about the times that Joselin hurt her.  About the time she pushed her down the stairs, pushed her down onto her face and she needed a band aid on her face (I remember the band aid), the times she shoved her off the swing, on and on.  All little incidents that were quick and hard to notice.  I just listened.  I wanted to cry.  I was so mad that my kid was hurt in my home when I thought she was safe.  We never left Joselin in charge of Larissa.  We never knew this was going on. 

Larissa never said a word about it.  However looking back I think that she was telling us.  Last fall when I attended school she was fine.  Joselin came home in December.  I started school in the spring and suddenly Larissa was having 2 hour long tantrums.....yea, I think she was telling us.  I feel so guilty about the abuse.  It was probably a good thing that Joselin was already out of my home when Larissa decided to tell me about the abuse.

At that point I had no doubt that she could not live in our home.

That incident was followed by the church incident.  Joselin showed up at youth.....wearing a pair of Sarah's jeans.  She showed up to cause problems.  She has a few friends there and was able to manipulate them into following our teen into the bathroom to intimidate her.  Youth group is not the place for this type of thing.  Sarah loves this youth group and has been going there longer then Joselin.  Allowing Joselin  to take that away from Sarah is not an option.

I have started speaking up and telling the truth about Joselin and the struggles we had in our home.  We had already talked with the minister, youth group leader and DSS about her issues when Joselin returned home.  We didn't broadcast her issues because we always hoped and prayed that she would make better choices, that she would decide to follow a different path.  However, she has not done so.  Staying quiet only helped her to find new unsuspecting prey. 

The following is a list of characteristics that I have been reading on lately.  All of them except for the last few do fit Joselin: 

Glibness/superficial charm.

Grandiose sense of self-worth.
Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
Pathological lying
Lack of remorse or guilt
Shallow affect
Callous/lack of empathy
Parasitic lifestyle
Poor behavioral controls
Promiscuous sexual behavior
Early behavior problems
Lack of realistic, long-term plans
Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
Many short-term marital relationships
Juvenile delinquency
Revocation of conditional release
Criminal versatility (Hare, 1986)

So, how are we going to deal with this?  We live in a very small community.  She has already told me that she does not intend to leave this area.  She has already shown us that she wants to intimidate the girls. 

The answer is....I am still working on that one. 

Part 3 tomorrow


  1. I would start calling the police anytime she goes near the girls. Find one person there who can help do a little intimidation of his own.

  2. So sorry for all you and your family are going through right now, but I think you're absolutely right for protecting your other children from Joselin- as difficult as that might be. She IS an adult as you pointed out in your last post.

    I think that your honesty (rather than sugar-coating things) can help others who find themselves in a similar situations, so kudos to you for sharing something so personal.

  3. Are the characteristics listed above part of a larger syndrome or disorder?