On Wednesday when we realized the extent of abuse that Joselin had inflicted on Larissa and her willingness to go to church activities and intimidate our teen K we panicked. Yes, panicked.
Tasha, who has had the most stuff stolen, texted Joselin and told her that if she comes near us at home or church then she will file theft charges against her. I also texted her to stay away and told her that Larissa was now talking to me and I was looking at filing charges.
I didn't get a chance to see what she packed because she left when I was at school. I do know that all three of the girls; Sarah, teen K and Tasha, are missing clothing. Joselin actually wore Sarah's jeans to the church. She knows that we found our stuff in the boxes she packed for picking up later. Perhaps we were wrong to not pursue legal actions when she stole from us before.
Honestly, at this time we just want her to stay away. We have not heard from her since we sent the texts to her on Wednesday night.
Today we talked to our social worker and she suggested having Larissa talk to a therapist to get the incidents documented. We may do that. We are still looking into it as a safety measure.
Now our habits have changed. We make sure we lock the door all the time. We lock the separate garage, something we have never done.
Many people believe that if you love a child enough then they will heal. I have learned that love is not enough for some kids. Some will not respond to love and stability. Some will never accept their new family.
Sometimes I wonder if I even really know who Joselin is. She presents to everyone who she wants to be. None of the kids in the home have formed a relationship with her. All of the children are relieved that she is gone. That says something.
Final thoughts, I am both sad and mad at the same time. I remember well the day we met Joselin. She was to be our daughter. We offered her all that we had. Unfortunately, it was not enough. She was not able to make the changes necessary to flourish in our home.
How does it make me feel about adoption? Yes, I will adopt again. The actions of one child should not deny another child of the opportunity to have a family. Every child should have that chance.
No matter how much you try to explain it, those who haven't adopted or whose bio kids have had attachment issues will not understand it. Those of us with adult attachment disorder children unfortunately get it without you explaining it
ReplyDelete: ( Safe guard the ones left at home every way you can. She has robbed them of more than material goods. It will take time to restore all that was lost. My two oldest missed out on more than I like to think about because so much centered around the next two's behaviors.
You have such a beautiful family and such a beautiful heart. As I read back to try and get caught up, my heart breaks for you. I don't think anyone realizes how heartbreaking it is to have to send one "child" away just to save the rest of your family until they have to go through it.
ReplyDeleteI have watched my beautiful friend and her husband take in child after child through foster care and adoption. It is a hard, but rewarding process. And then, the situations, like this one, where you have to turn away one of the children you loved so much, just to protect everyone else. My heart grieves for the children who have so many issues from childhood that they just can't "get" it. They can't "get" how much they are loved and they can't "get" that they can have a different life :(
Many prayers and blessings to you in this rough time!