Friday, June 19, 2015


At first I wasn't going to talk about this subject but then I realized that it can be a part of fostering/adopting.  Threats, sometimes they come with the territory.   Even though foster parents are not the reason why children come into care, they are an easy target for hurting parents.  They may make threats, they may just make life miserable with false allegations.  Sometimes they try to have the child act out. Try to have their child moved.  Threats come in many forms and are expected.

When we first became foster parents we had 4 children so we weren't fostering specifically to adopt. We were fostering for reunification and if a child couldn't go home we would consider adoption since we had a relationship with the child.

We do encourage reunification.  We mentor and encourage parents.  We are honest with them.  When things are going well we even meet them for extra visits between DSS visits. We still have a relationships with several of our previous foster children families.

However, not all kids go home to their parents.  Some go to family members.  Some have had parental rights terminated and been adopted by us. Emotions are high at that time.  It is a painful time. Still, we have never had a biological parent threaten us...until now.

Little Man's mom is very mad about the termination.  Apparently she planned on trying to get him back sometime (not sure when).  Her father called DSS and warned them that she was threatening us and the social worker.  He is worried that something is going to happen.  He has a reason to believe this, she has spent time in jail because of some violent actions.  She is capable of violence.

DSS called me to let me know.  Some of it I already knew through my connections.  They say that they have protocol for these situations, they contact the police.  The local police will be cruising our road.

We have strengthened our security.  Alarm is set, windows checked.  We live on a street with lots of retirees so someone sitting out in front of our house is not going to happen. Our kids only play in the backyard.  Already, they are not allowed to answer the door. We have discussed this rule to make sure that it is followed. All of our interconnected fire alarms are now working as well.

I know that biomom knows where we live.  In this small town it is hard to keep that secret.  I never gave her my last name but she got it anyways.  I know this because she contacted me on facebook. Lately her friends have been sending me friend requests which I do not accept.

We are trying to access this threat.  If it becomes a long term issue I am not sure what we will do.  Moving would be a pain but if necessary we would do that.  I hope that it doesn't come to that.

Any other foster/adoptive parents dealing with threats from biofamilies?  If so, how have you dealt with it?


  1. Scary for sure... We haven't had threats but I have worried about it with a few of our kiddos bio parents. At least they "your agency and the police " are taking it seriously.... That probably wouldn't happen here.

  2. Not fun!! At least you will be out of town for a while.