Saturday, May 25, 2013

The Unexpected

When the girls came into our home 19 months ago our biggest challenge was Emma. Her hours long tantrums were too much for their previous adoptive placement. We were the 7th placement for the girls.

A little more than 6 months into their placement the tantrums started to decline and today are nonexistent.  She definitely had attachment issues but she was growing.  We could see change in her.

Our concern then became Michelle.  Her defiance, lying, anger and manipulative ways came to the forefront once the distractions of the tantrums from her sister dissipated.  Our therapist said that no improvements could be made until we had finalization. 

We hope that now that we have finalization that Michelle can learn some new positive behaviors.  We know this will take time.  The immediate reaction has been more testing.

Emma seemed oblivious to the adoption.  Not too long ago we were discussing the upcoming adoption and she said that she thought that she was already adopted.  We didn't expect that the adoption would have a big impact on her.


Her reaction to the adoption was immediate.  She has started to seek me out.  She wants to sit next to me and read to me.  She wants me to do her hair, help put on her shoes, help her with her swimsuit...things she has always done for herself.  We didn't expect this.  It is so apparent that everyone in the house sees the change.  It was so unexpected.  A good unexpected and I am loving it!

Today is dance recital day, I have to go and write out the dress rehearsal schedule and get girls hair ready.  So enjoy pictures from Emma's photo shoot day.


  1. Your girls sound alot like my 2 boys. Sadly, we didn't get adoption. We have permanent guardianship with birth parents who still get to visit. Makes me so sad. One of my boys is just exactly like your Michelle. And with no end in sight with the birth parents, we are afraid that he will never heal. Our other boy has retreated back into a depression since we didn't get true permanency. All the "powers that be" told us that with their track record, these birth parents will disappear soon and it still hasn't happened so far. Such a broken system that we have that doesn't truly do what is in the best interest of the children and are too worried about the rights of the parents that caused the problems and didn't follow their case plan. We were told that they couldn't terminate because dad was doing just enough and then in court the DFACS attorney said since the parents stipulated to permanent guardianship that he wanted it put in the record that he had enough to terminate. It was hurtful and wrong! Sadly, we were treated differently because we were relatives that stepped up to care for these kids. Even their therapist has said that they can't heal until the birth parents are out of their life. She was supposed to testify to that, but the State decided not to have her come to court.

    Just sad. I will be praying for your girls. Please pray for my boys. They all deserve to heal and have true families.

  2. Love the first three. Look forward to meeting you all soon.

  3. It was the same with Lexi. The difference was immediate and incredible. How exciting about Emma! And praying Michelle will have a quick turnaround, too. Security and permanence are amazing!