Saturday, April 2, 2011

How's Jo?

Joselin has decided that she is living on her bed. She does not leave her room except to go to school, go to church with us (because we make her go since we don't trust her home alone) and to sneak down at night to get food and do her chore. She does not eat with the family. Does not come down to associate with us in any way. We are no longer her family on facebook, although we are still friends............ . I have told her that she needs to get a job but she has not made any attempt to do so. The psychologist at her IEP meeting suggested that she look for a job last week......still no attempt................... I have asked her why she was sneaking boys into the house when I was allowing her to go out. She hasn't given me an answer.................... She will talk to me in the morning when we drive to school and when we go to church. She is often annoyed by my simple requests. She does not have much responsibilities in the home. All of the child care when I am in school has fallen onto Sarah's shoulders. Tasha helps out when she is here but she has gotten a job...................... I am beginning to think that I should give her more chores and not less. She should have more responsibilities in the home. She is a part of the home as long as she lives here and should contribute. I am thinking along the lines of yard work since I don't trust her with the kids and all the stuff in the house. ................................ I few times a week I search her room for our stuff. I have told her that if it isn't hers it shouldn't be in her room. Dad.........that flashlight you were looking for.....I found it. Along with the scissors I was looking for and the duct tape. Small items, but items I have told her to stop taking to her room. I have found items in her room that I know were in my bedroom, this really makes me mad............................ . I have filled out paperwork for her to see a therapist at school. I know that it is futile but I try. ............................. Honestly, I am not sure what else I can do. It is pretty much up to her at this point. She is going to actually be 19 in a few months. She is not making wise choices for herself. (blogging issues with spacing....came out as one huge paragraph and I can't get spacing my normal route)

8 comments:

  1. My blog posts will not break into paragraphs either!!! I posted a review of Tangled on my blog for girls http://just4christiangirls.blogspot.com and I could not get it to divide into paragraphs even using pictures!!!


    Anyway, I am sort of where you are. I have one who lays on his bed or sleeps until he goes to work at noon. HUmors me by letting me talk to him if he comes out. Too cool for the clothes I've bought him (southpole!!) too cool to acknowledge us except in the home, making mega bucks and not offering to help with anything (made him start giving another child $5 a week for use of a bike), defriended all of us on his facebook. He would deny everything to our face because he knows he needs a place to stay until he leave in a few weeks. Doing crap but thinks we don't know. I have not confronted him on any of it due to his leaving soon and not wanting to deal with the fall out since he's not going to be here that long. If he was staying, he would be contributing to the grocery bill and getting up at a normal time. He does share walking the dogs and drying dishes if he was here. He is very offended if we act like he is anything but an adult--but with adulthood comes other responsiblilties. He can't stab me in the back yet because he needs his citizenship paper that I'm tring to get him so he can get his driver's permit.

    Sorry, getting long. Wish you were closer and we could compare strategies.

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  2. I am struggling with Joselin's citizenship as well. She got a hold of her adoption paperwork shortly after coming to the US and shredded a lot of it. Her Guatemala final adoption paperwork and Guatemalan birth certificate....gone. I was able to get her US birth certificate because we are in a small town and the courthouse was actually very helpful in signing some paperwork for me. However, I am not sure what to do with her citizenship finalization. We applied for a passport but I feel that we didn't have all the necessary documentation. The man at the post office said we were good to go with the birth certificate but I don't think so. I guess they will contact me at some point and I will have to figure something else out.

    I am jealous, your son has a plan for his future and at least got a job. Joselin doesn't have either of those.

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  3. Sarah......hey, stay off my computer! The above comment was posted by myself, not Sarah.

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  4. Tell Sarah to come leave her favorites on my casselcrew blog. I thought people would leave a few but only a couple did. I know people are really busy this time of year though.

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  5. Are there any privileges to be taken away for not contributing? Driving cell phone computer use etc. Tough!

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  6. She lost the cell phone long ago, after several attempts to let her have one. She is not ready to drive and couldn't get a license right now anyways since she destroyed so much of her documentation. Computer use is hard because the high school provides a laptop and she has to do all of her homework on it. Historically it really hasn't mattered what privileges you take away, she acts like she doesn't care. Whatever limits you try ot put on her she finds ways to work around. I think that I am just down to natural consequences.

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  7. I'm sorry :(

    I know it would be not good for her, but sometimes I wish mine WOULD retreat to her room sometimes and give me a short break from her "issues" so I could peacefully love on the others. It's hard to do so when she is lurking or brooding nearby because I don't want to hurt her even though she is making the choice to act like this. Hoping I'm not writing the same things you are when she is the age of yours :(

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