Frustration

Some days I get so frustrated.

Over and over I tell my kids what my expectations are. Over and over they defy them.

Over and over I discuss lying and the damage that it does to relationships and trust. No change.

Some days I get frustrated and really don't know what to do to improve these behaviors.

Today was one of those days.  I wasn't out of bed 15 minutes before I had two girls screaming, lying, waking babies and teens, defying the safety house rules.  Today I decided that these behaviors will earn the offenders work detail for the day.  Yes, for the day. 

Of course just because you give them chores to do doesn't mean that they will actually do them. Here the girls are matching socks.  The socks were thrown from one end of the dining room to the other.  They did not start out that way.  There is no way to match them that way.  Out of hundreds non-matched socks they found about 20 matches.

 

They also had the opportunity to do some weeding and clean their bedrooms.  The rest of the kids made a fort out of the dining room table set in the kitchen, played wii  and generally had a free play day.  They got along great. 

 

The girls were miserable.  Will it have an impact on their behaviors tomorrow.  Who knows.  I do know that I told them that good behaviors tomorrow will earn lunch after church at San Jose and a project at Lowe's.  Bad behaviors earns a sandwich, chores after church and time with dad when I go to Lowe's.  One child was overheard to say that she was going to be good tomorrow as she headed off to an early bedtime (she loves both eating and those Lowe's projects).

 

We are a few months shy of 2 years home with these girls.  I know that they have come a long way. I really do understand that.  However, some things have been so hard to break.  I have tried everything I have read about.  Today I told them that their lying and defiance was wearing me out so they get to help me with the house. 

 

I am thinking that in the future I will have the child take a chore from a chore chart for each lie and breaking of the house safety rules.  Problem is I need to fill a jar with chores.  My biggest problem is coming up with good chores for this.  I need suggestions for some chores.  I know some of my readers have some good ideas.

 

I will tell the child.....your continued (behavior) has worn me out so you will have to help me by picking a chore.  Think it will have any impact?  If not perhaps I will get a little more order in my house.

In regards to lying, some of my kids do it on reflex.  If I think that they are lying I slow them down and give them an opportunity to correct their lie.  Making them think about it can help.  If they do self-correct then there is no consequence for the initial lie.  Anthony and Larissa are very good at taking that opportunity to self-correct.  On occasion Emma has started doing it after observing the positive outcome for Anthony and Larissa.

Anyone out there dealing with the lying?  What about the lying about things that don't even matter?  Any success in dealing with it?  I am all ears.