Ah, heck, her mom didn't want her. I don't like to say that but it is the reality. To start life that way is so hard. How I wish that her mom would have simply put her up for adoption at birth. Every child deserves a family that wants them. How different her life would have been had she been cherished and loved as a baby.
This is the only picture posted of her on a social media. How I wish I could have gotten her at that time.
However, we didn't. We received her after 6 failed placements and every day since has been a struggle to help her to heal and move beyond her early beginnings. Her tantrums lasted hours. Developmentally she was years behind. She doesn't have the memories that her sister does which sometimes seems like a blessing. She seems to have found her own way of dealing with the pain.
After 6 months the tantrums finally stopped. We have no tantrums today, none. It was those tantrums that made people turn away. There were times that we questioned our resolve. I am thankful that we did hold on tight because what if we had thrown in the towel at 5 1/2 months?
Emma and Larissa quickly formed a strong bond. Sure they fight, but for the most part they play well together and get into trouble together. I believe that her ability to bond with Larissa has helped Emma to move forward with attaching with her family.
Today she is happy. She is always a mess, her hair never looks brushed right after it was brushed and she is the sloppiest eater around. She is also very clumsy. She is always sporting a new bruise or Band-Aid. Hopefully dance will help her to learn how to stop tripping over her feet. At times she can show her little mean side but can turn it around. She has been caught telling the truth lately which I am happy to see.
Academically she is on target. She is starting the first grade this year and is reading well. I believe that she will have a good year this year.
Attachment is a work in progress. I was shocked by her change after her adoption. She made more of an effort to attach. I believe that she finally realized that she had a family. She seeks me out a lot more and is constantly asking me questions. Most of the time her questions have been answered numerous times or the answer is obvious. From my point it seems that she is trying to have a conversation and isn't sure how to do it. This is something I am trying to work on at this time.
Interesting to me is she does not try to attach with others like her sister does. She seems content to keep her attachments within the family. She has a few friends who are her peers which delights me. I would have thought that her attachment issues would be worse than her sisters but they aren't.
When we were at the courthouse for the adoption her social worker told me that she never thought that the girls would get adopted. She thought that they would go from home to home and eventually age out of the system. Thankfully that didn't happen for these girls. We may not make a big difference in the world but to these girls we have made a world of difference. We have been blessed to have the opportunity to add these girls to our family.