Gone

I wasn't able to go to court today because Larissa had preschool graduation. I received a call at 11:43 am and was told that they kids would be going home......now. By 12:15 everything was loaded up and the kids were gone.
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Was I ready ....... no. Part of me thought that they might not go home because of new issues. But part of me also knew that if I didn't pack then I would be caught unprepared. So I half-hearted started packing. I didn't finish. When I received the call I rushed through the house gathering baby items together.
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There are still many reminders all throughout the house. Two cribs to take apart and store away, two car seats to clean up and put away, a high chair to clean and store, toys everywhere, socks I didn't get to match, random laundry, shoes I found in the car. In every room in the house you will find evidence of the babies. I packed so quickly that I realized tonight at Walmart (when I walked past the diapers and thought I needed to restock) that I had forgotten to pack any diapers.
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So, the house is quiet tonight. We will have a new schedule to get used to. Sure, it will be easier with no diapers. Easier without two little ones to care for. But, there will be no baby cuddles, baby laughs, no baby hanging onto my legs saying mamamama, no chunky baby to carry on my hips, no baby love.
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I miss my babies tonight.