Attachment, My Humble Opinion

I share our challenges with our older child adoption because I know that we are not alone.  I know this because on a daily basis I talk with others in the same position.  However, it is not my intention to scare others away from older child adoption.  Our experience is only one side of the coin.  Many older adopted children have adapted great to a family and home. 
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Why do some children seem to have the ability to attach and others do not?  I certainly do not have an educational degree that allows me to speak with authority but I do have my opinion for what it is worth.  It is my belief that neurologically we are set to attach.  However,  we need to be stimulated to grow those neurons.  If a child is not shown love and affection at an early age then it is harder for them to learn to attach.
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I think that the complicated part is that some kids can go through abuse and neglect and still maintain the ability to attach while other kids go through the same situation and can not attach.  I think that this is because of genetics.  Yep, genetics.  If you parent enough kids you will learn that no two kids are alike.  Some are easy going while others are not.  Some children are more resilient then others. I believe that attachment is an area where one child can have an easy time attaching even with minimal interactions whereas another child may require a lot of interactions and still struggle with attachment. 
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I believe that most foster children have some level of attachment issues.  Attachment is a spectrum type of disorder.  Many may only have a a mild attachment disorder but it still needs to be addressed and understood.
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Currently we are looking at a 9 year old girl.  We are trying to ascertain where she stands on the attachment spectrum.  It is hard because not everyone understands the complexity of attachment.  We know that we can not deal with a child with moderate to severe attachment issues because we have younger children in the home.  We know that she does have some attachment problems.  But we also know that she is an orphan who needs a family.
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It is not easy adopting an older child but it does help to go into it with your eyes wide open.