Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Mom's Birthday

 My mom had her birthday the day after Thanksgiving, also the day after Sarah's birthday.  Her requests were for a new outfit and a cake with strawberries.  I was delighted that she asked for something specific because I find it hard to shop for her!

 She had a little help with the candle blowing (my husband).

I love this picture because she was looking at the kids on the side and smiling at them.

All the kids came in and sang to their grandma then watched her open her gifts.  Of course, they then ate cake.

I want my children to respect the elderly. They help with their grandmothers care in small ways.  They check her drink when I ask or gather her plates.  They know that when I am preparing dinner plates hers is the first I make to take to her.  They watch how I care for my mom and hopefully they are learning from it.  Actions speak louder than words and they see the actions on a daily basis.

Every night before I head to bed I say to Sarah that I am going to change my mom and then head to bed.  Every night her response is that she hopes that she never has to say that.  I sure hope that she doesn't either.

It is a lot of work caring for my mom.  As a family we can't just decide to take a weekend trip somewhere.  We have to plan any time we are away from home.  I don't know if I would want to put that burden on my own children.  I tell everyone, if you have high blood pressure don't play around with your medications....take them.

I find myself writing more often about my mom and I think that it is a reflection of my realization that at some point I will not be able to care for her any longer.  I see that she is losing weight because she is losing all her muscle tone.  There are days that she doesn't want to get out of bed at all.  She doesn't try to move herself and needs to be shifted to prevent bed sores.  I worry about bed sores (she doesn't have any) and feel that they are inevitable because she doesn't shift herself at all.

Then there are the night where I would just like to head to bed without going and changing my mom.  then I feel guilty for feeling that way.  There are times when I am angry at her because I feel that she could have prevented all of this if she had just taken her medication.  I get mad because she doesn't push herself to move her body.  That all the times that I have gotten therapy out to the house they had to stop because she wasn't showing improvements.  She wasn't showing improvement because she doesn't do the exercises.  Then I try not to think about it because then I feel guilty.  What a circle I put myself in.

Anyone else out there caring for an elderly parent?  I know that I couldn't do it without Long Term Community Care.  They provide the 20 hours of care that my mom receives.  This is such a huge help for me and her aide is such a beautiful person.  She has helped our family in so many ways and is always willing to be there when we need her.  Blessings come in many different ways and my moms aide is one of them.

1 comment:

  1. Not in your position but I can imagine the stress and mixed emotions. I visited my dad in a nursing home for five years after he had a stroke. It took up a lot of the day and sometimes he didn't even recognize. It was extremely awkward at times to say the least.