Friday, December 19, 2014

Attachment in Progress

Attachment in progress can be so painful. It can also be beautiful.  Feelings are so complicated, especially when you have to share mom.

I didn't show this picture earlier....Emma was not happy because she wasn't where Michelle is.  I was reaching out to touch her head because she needed contact.  She wants to be next to me in pictures.


A moment with Anthony put Emma into a pout.

Standing in front of mom, happy.  Just a few moments before she almost has a meltdown because she was next to me but behind Larissa.  I moved her to the side to move her in front of me but for a moment she thought I was pushing her away.  The look on her face at that moment showed her pain.  The picture shows her delight of being placed in front of me.

After an intense summer of working on attachment with Emma I have seen so much growth.  Her food issues are in the past. She is still my pickiest eater but she eats meals with the family.  She is happier now that she gave up that battle and allowed me to provide for her.

Sometimes it is the little things that I notice.  Today I had to trim her nails.  That may seem totally normal but it is the first time that I have ever had to trim her nails.  Normally when she gets anxious she chews them off. Her anxiety level has gone way down. Now if I could get her to stop licking her lips, they are always chapped in the winter.

Emma comes up to me and offers me messages, wants to sit next to me when we eat out, wants me to take her picture, plays with the baby appropriately (she used to ignore the baby), and generally wants me, her mom. 

I was concerned that with school starting she would go back to her routine of attaching to her teacher.  Thankfully they did match her with a teacher who has not allowed that to happen.  It has helped to keep Emma on track with her attachment to me. 

Interesting to me is this lack of attaching to her teacher has had an impact on her grades.  She does not look for approval from her teacher and is failing school.  I hope that she will come to see the importance of passing but the motivations I have offered have not had any effect.  I mentioned to the school that she may need to be held back.  Emotionally she is years behind so holding her back may be a good thing.  I am looking at starting some new positive reinforcements after Christmas break to see if we can turn this around.  I have been surprised by this issue since last year her grades were so good.  At this time I think that attaching at home is more important than grades but she needs to find a balance.

I believe that 2015 will be a great year for my baby girl!


  1. Sounds like good progress. A long way from the hours long fits testing you to see if you'd send them away.

  2. This post hits my heart in a special way. I have a boy who has these same struggles and our hard days are getting farther apart. What types of positive reinforcement ideas are you hatching up? Always looking for something new to keep people on their toes and motivated. Especially since there are 7 of them and only one of me!