Who are you?

I love Christmas shopping. I enjoy the hunt for just the right gifts for each person. Sometimes it is something that they need or want. Sometimes it is something that I want for that child to try. Sometimes I get just the right thing and sometimes not. The main thing is that I try.

 If I want to do a good job I have to really know the person.  This year I am struggling.  I have one child who I feel like I don't know.  She takes on everyone else's interests.  She doesn't seem to have the ability to just be herself.  She is a chameleon.

I wonder when she lost herself.  I believe that all the moves and rejections helped to mold her.  She got good at being just the person that she perceived that adults wanted.  She is able to keep this up for a while until it all crumbles. When it crumbles then the anger comes out.

I wonder if she really knows who she is. At this time I don't think that she does.  She is my compulsive liar.  I think that she has lied so much for so long that it has become a habit.  Part of the problem is she lies to herself as well.

I have done a lot of  research on compulsive lying.  Now is the time to stop it.  Many of the testimonies of adults with this problem are very sad.  Loss of relationships and jobs when the truths start coming out.  The lying starts as a self esteem issue and then becomes a habit.  Lies about everything, nonsense things, unimportant things as well as important things.

I have talked about how lies hurt relationships.  I hadn't realized how the lies affected the child herself.  I hadn't realized that she had actually lost herself to her lies.  I see that now.  I see the problem but the fix isn't so easy.  Please pray as we work through this.  Pray that we can find a way to help this child to find herself.