Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Spring Break

We are on spring break here in South Carolina.  Thankfully the weather has improved and I can kick send the children outside. I don't have anything big planned this week, budget and my mom limit us. 

Right now I am concerned about our Disney trip.  The long term health care program that we use for my mom for daily care offers respite care.....in Charleston.  We don't live close to Charleston so I am trying to find someone to stay at my home that week who I can trust.  My mom will still have her daily aid come in but she can't be left alone. My mom is on waiting lists for nursing homes but I have no idea of when they will become available.  I am not even sure if I discussed making that decision.  It was a hard decision to make but with her inability to help with standing and pivoting I worry about my ability to keep both of us safe. 

I have also decided not to go on the Guatemala Mission trip this year.  One issue is money and the other is kids.  With my husband working now and Sarah wanting to go I wouldn't have reliable care for the kids.  I would also have to raise the money for two and I really don't like doing that.

I am enjoying this break from school but am also frustrated because some things that I have been working on with the kids are rearing their nasty little heads.  My little candy thief is still at it.  I did not give the kids much candy at all but little miss Emma managed to find a way to steal from the others and then lie about it.  On one foray she had a partner in crime and thankfully the partner did tell the truth.  The lying has more of a consequence than the stealing.

Then I have my little angry and jealous one.  These issues are seriously impeding her relationships with her siblings.  We have talked with her therapist and she doesn't want to continue working with her until she is adopted.  She doesn't think that she will be able to make any more progress until there is finalization.  This little one lurks around listening intently when any social worker enters our home.  She has to be prepared in case she is moved again.  She just doesn't believe that there will be finalization.

Next comes my son.  He has made so much progress in his behaviors.  Bringing a foster child in our home with some difficult behaviors has really send Anthony back.  His behaviors are backsliding and he is even picking up some new ones (which are not so nice).  Our foster child's siblings have been brought back from the other state that they were sent to and are sitting in a children's home here in SC.  DSS has been talking about moving him to be with his siblings after school is out.  I am taking him for visitation today and will request that they move him on June 1st.  We are not big in moving foster kids but we need to protect our children.  Our foster son needs respite care for June 2nd so moving him at that time would make sense.

Because of the negative effect we have seen on our children, we are going to lower the age of foster children that we are willing to accept to 3 years old and under.  We have found in the past that the behaviors of babies and toddlers (no matter how challenging) do not have a negative impact on the behaviors of our children.  In July we will officially have an opening for one child.  We have discussed all of our options and have decided that for our family, younger foster children is a viable option.  This means that I have to say no to older children.  It doesn't really matter what ages you tell them you can accept, they will call and ask you to take children out of your range. I am the biggest wimp so I must remain strong when they call.

At this very moment, all the kids are playing well together.  Enjoying the moment because I know it will be fleeting! 

Have a great day.


  1. 1. I'm praying that the pieces will fall into place for your trip. You all need the time away.
    2. The difference in my littlest one once we finalized was incredible. So many of the behavior problems just melted away once she knew it was finished. I hope the same will be true for Michelle.
    3. Stay strong! You're amazing.

  2. I'm trying to work it out so that a couple of children and I can join you at a Disney park on June 5th. I will be talking to Jasmine's school about getting her out at noon on the 4th instead of noon on the 5th. We don't have to be to Miami until noon of the 6th so can drive on down the night of the 5th or early the 6th. We are going in two groups. Just works better that way.

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  4. Will Sarah still be going on the mission trip? I'm sorry that you had to give that up. I suppose something had to give but I know you felt a connection with that town and that young girl. I still think about the families I met when I did volunteer work in Mexico when I was 17. I've always hoped I would go back again.

    1. Sarah doesn't want to go if I don't go. Perhaps we will get to go next year. I am not sure if they will be going to the same village or not next year.