Some days I grow weary of behaviors that never change. They don't change in spite of the fact that they aren't working. I don't understand it. Even after years of trying, the behaviors still don't work. Yet the behaviors don't change.
The dress. I asked Michelle to put her dress that I found in the half bathroom downstairs stuffed between the sink and the wall. Instead of putting it in her room or laundry she stuffed it by the front door. I threw it away. I am tired of this game and don't give any warnings anymore. She found it in the trash, took it out and stuffed it in a spot in the kitchen. Yea, that didn't work for her either. If she was really interested in keeping the dress she could have taken it upstairs when she saw it in the trash. I don't get it.
Michelle and Emma each have a notebook where their daily behavior is written down. Sometimes I check it daily, sometimes I check it weekly. Every day they come home and the first thing they tell me is that they got green. Emma admitted the other day that she had a yellow. Michelle had green every day. I slipped up and missed a week. Second week Michelle said she had green every day. Yesterday I realized that I hadn't checked the last two weeks and I asked to see her notebook. She grabs her backpack and goes to the kitchen. I follow her asking her why is she walking away from me. I take her backpack and check her behavior chart. The first week was fine, the next week she must have thought I was never going to check again because she had several days of yellow. Lies. Beyond lies, if she thinks that she won't get caught, she doesn't do the right thing. I told her that eventually the truth comes out. She is getting older and still there is no trust there, none.
Summer vacation isn't here yet but she has already lost the privilege of playing outside without an adult. When she isn't supervised she always hurts someone, somehow. We have been dealing with this for years and she can't stand the limits but she doesn't make the changes necessary to have more freedom. The huge bump on Emma's head lost that freedom for Michelle.
It is tiring. I grow weary. I worry, I can't keep her under constant supervision until she is 18 and then just let her go into the world. At some point she needs to learn to make better decisions, right? Will she? Some days I wonder.