Sunday, May 29, 2016


It has been a very tough, not so good week at our house. Last Saturday as we were getting ready for dress rehearsal for dance I got a call from Joselin. One of the calls where your child is sobbing. She just asked for me to pick her up. Jason and John offered to go get her but I said I would go, sounded like she needed her mom. I had no idea what had happened. I am actually glad that I didn't send one of the men, it might have been bad. The blood coming down the side of her face is only part of the damage.

I will be honest, I left out of the house so fast that I hadn't showered or even put on a bra. There I stood outside of their apartment in a screaming match with her boyfriend. He got up in my face and I so badly wanted to smack him (I didn't). He kept telling me that he didn't hit her then he went off on how stupid she is. Later she told me that he threw a TV at her face, dragged her around and shoved her into the wall. The bruises that slowly showed up showed where she had been pushed and shoved. He sent videos out to family and friends with him following her around talking about how he didn't lay his hands on her. In one she goes into her room and shuts the door. She told me that she put up a dresser to block him and he broke it shoving the door open. Of course he didn't send out those videos.

We have been trying to get Joselin out of this relationship. We do not like what he is doing to her. He constantly tells her that she is stupid, puts her down in many ways. He even messages me all this information and tells me what a bad mom I am because she is so stupid and I didn't teach her right because she doesn't cook and clean for him. She came from Guatemala at the age of 10 with no education. She now speaks English and is literate. Yes, she has a lot of gaps, but she has come such a long ways. She is bright. I dispised how he was lowering her self-esteem.

Along with that he made sure that they were never able to come home for family events. She made it to very few activities and she made those because Tasha picked her up. On top of the family isolation he tried to ensure that she lost her friends. If they were at their house, he would kick them out. He constantly attacked them and put them down. Tried to turn them against Joselin. He was trying to isolate her from every one while breaking her self-esteem. I recognize all the signs.

Joselin had left him before but he lured her back when he was about to get evicted and needed her money. We hadn't gotten all of her stuff out of his place so there was still that attachment. Well, this time we took care of that. While I was at dress rehersal Kim and friends went to get all of her stuff. Yes, truckers, bikers and generally tough looking people. They got everything and it is all sitting in my already overstuffed garage. Apparently they looked a little too tough as he pulled out his gun and sat there with it and accused me of sending gang members out to his house. I didn't even try to dispel that notion. He has only been to the outside of our house and has never gotten to know us so he has no clue that I don't know any gang members. I simply told him to stay away.

I hope that she does stay away. Her friends have come forward and are encouraging her to stay away as well. They have taken her to Myrtle Beach for bike week. I have some of her money that she has been giving me so hopefully we can find her a place of her own.



  1. I'm so sorry this happened to Joselin.
    Here is a part I missed: the part where you call the police and they arrest him for domestic violence. I missed where Joselin presses charges and gets a restraining order. I missed where the police offer her resources for battered women, including counseling and housing assistance. It is not too late to contact the police. Do it.

    1. Joselin didn't want to. Tried to convince her to but she doesn't wantt o. She says that she just wants to be away from him.

    2. Joselin is in an abusive relationship and can't make that choice right now. *You* should have called.

    3. Can someone else after the fact? What if the person being abused denies it? Obviously this is an area I need to understand more the rights of everyone.

    4. I don't see why she couldn't file a report after the fact. You have pictures, the video he sent to you... Maybe you could request they send someone who is not dressed in a uniform to talk to her. You don't necessarily need a police report to get an order of protection, however, in the second to last paragraph you mention he has a gun, an order of protection may just anger him. A police report with statements from those who were picking up her things would go a long way. And hyper vigilance for the next bit would be very wise.

  2. That is just awful. I hope Joselin stays away from him! That has to be so hard for you to see her go through that :(