Hospital

My mom got sick. One morning she woke up throwing up. It wasn't too bad. We went on the liquid diet and monitored her urine output. That evening she kept down her fluids and we thought we were OK. The next afternoon she started throwing up again and her urine decreased so we called for an ambulance. They put her on an IV and said that her kidney function was bad. Her potassium level was too high. They sent off for cultures and suspected an UTI. My mom has had problems with UTI's and has been on a maintenance antibiotic to help prevent them.

The physicians assistant came in and asked me where my mom was getting her prescriptions. I told her the doctors name and she said that they had called them and she hadn't been seen since 2014! Well, that isn't true. She started yelling at me about my moms antibiotic and how ti destroys the kidneys and how have I kept her on it for years. Finally she mentioned the name of the antibiotic and I said she wasn't on that, she is on a maintenance antibiotic and I told her the name. She calmed down and said that their records said she was on the other. I told her that my mom hadn't been to the hospital in years and she last came for an UTI and she was put on the medication for 2 weeks. Once her UTI cleared up she was put on the maintenance antibiotics and it had worked great for her up until now. She totally changed her attitude and told me that we were taking great care of her skin. Geez, nothing like feeling like you are under attack for the care your mom receives. I am not sure how she thought I was getting these prescriptions for things like high blood pressure and antibiotics.

Then another person comes in and asked me if I want to put her in a nursing home. Every time she is in the hospital they ask me this. I don't think that we are ready. Every evening before I go to bed my thought is that I have to check on my mom, then I remember that she isn't here. Every time I come and go out the front door I pass her bedroom door, the bedroom is empty. It is so strange. Then we have such a connection with her caregiver. When I took Benjamin to the hospital to see my mom he asked where her caregiver Charlotte was. Charlotte came by to visit yesterday and Benjamin ran and hid from her. He was so upset that she hadn't been around. She has been in our home 5 days a week for his entire life. When my mom passes he will lose two people in his life. Charlotte will still be a family friend, but won't be here 5 days a week. With all the other changes in our house right now losing that stability isn't good.

I have been going daily to check on her and get updates. Slowly her kidney function is improving and she is expected to come home this week. She may have a catheter which will be another issue to deal with. The nurse said that she thinks that the hospital visits will start to increase and that she is on a decline. I believe that she has been on a decline for the last 6 months. In spite of that, we really aren't ready.

However, this experience has also showed me that I don't want my mom to be in pain. We work so hard to keep her skin in good condition and after just 2 days in the hospital her harms are tore up. She couldn't manage a major medical problem. She is not strong enough for that. When she does pass I don't want ti to be a long, painful process for her.

Watching your mom go through all of this really sucks.