Wednesday, October 14, 2015

What if.....

We have a weakness, a majority of the time when DSS has called us about placement of a child or children we have said yes.  The time I did say no became a yes and led to our adoption of Kassi.  My husband asked me how many kids we haven taken in to our home and I honestly don't know.  I answered with every one that they asked, that is why they call us.  That is why we were seldom empty.

When they called us about Benjamin we said yes even though we had to go to the hospital and take an infant CPR class. They told us that he would be a short term placement.  We said yes knowing that he wouldn't be with us long. We welcomed the opportunity to bring a baby into our home. We love cuddling and loving on babies. We had a lot of short term kids the year before so we actually thought that they meant it.  They had a family member in mind when we picked him up.

Keep in mind; Anthony, Larissa and Kassi were all short term placements.  Only Emma and Michelle were not.  So when DSS says short term, that doesn't always mean short term.

Today we were asked to do respite care for a week.  I said yes and the foster mom called me with particulars.  She brought the kids over today so that they could meet us and were comfortable coming here for a week.  They go to our local elementary school and even take the same bus home.  They sit with Michelle on the bus so the week should go well.

The kids foster mom and I were standing and talking when Benjamin came running through the room. The foster mom turned to me and said that he could have been her son.  She told me that she had gotten a call about him and they were thinking about taking placement.  However, she couldn't fit in taking the CPR class.  Also, she said that she didn't want to take a short term baby because she wanted to adopt and having him leave would break her heart. She looked at him again and said, "he could have been my son....what if we had said yes".

Foster care is so unpredictable.  You have to be open to the possibility of being hurt when the kids leave.  When you start making decisions about placement based on how it may or may not hurt you then you are limiting the possibilities. I feel bad for her.  They have been fosteirng for several years and had an adoptive homestudy for a few years before that.  Yet they are still waiting for an adoptive placement. Now she is asking herself, what if?


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  2. There are many what ifs in this life we chose. D was supposed to go to a family member. S was supposed to reunify with her father. The three girls were supposed to be adoptive but they went home. We were chosen for I and her foster mom changed her mind.... God has a plan...

  3. It is hard to understand here on earth, the plan God has for us and especially for these little ones (no matter their age). I personally believe that God will bless your friend above and beyond what she is expecting. He will honor her patience and give her what she needs when she needs them, and maybe He already has with the little ones in her care. In the meantime, people like you who rarely/never say "no" God is using in amazing ways to bless these little ones. I honor your choices and your abilities and your compassion to love for a minute or for a life time.

    The love we give children cannot compare to the love that God already has for them. So I'm confident that God has your little Benjamin right where he is supposed to be.

    I also want to give you honor for your compassion to this other foster mom and the sad irony of your child/my child in which one word "no" (...I'm waiting for an adoptive fit) changed the course of so many lives. Wow...