Monday, July 27, 2015

Diminished Lying

In our household it has been noticed that Michelle's lying has greatly diminished.  Even my moms caretaker has noticed it, the level of lying has dropped that much.  We have asked ourselves, why?

Obviously she decided to make a change. I asked her and she said that she was tired of not being able to play games because of her cheating.  Also, she was tired of getting in trouble for it.

For so long we had consequences in place for lying and we thought that they weren't working. However, they eventually did. It just took a long time for her to realize that lying wasn't working for her.

I watched her reaction when the kids were all doing something they shouldn't and she would be the only one who would lie about it.  Everyone else was given a verbal correction and she was given a consequence for the lying.  Every time this happened she would scream and cry.  It didn't help her. Every time I explained that this was a consequence of her lying and she saw that everyone else simply got a verbal correction because they told the truth. Emma caught on to this concept after a while and I wondered why Michelle didn't.

Eventually she tired of it.  Eventually she decided that telling the truth was simply easier.  The first time she did tell the truth I was actually surprised but acted as though it was expected and she went on her merry way with a correction. I did not make a big deal out of it or give her extra attention for it.  In this house that actually backfires sometimes.  I did mention that I noticed that her lying had diminished when we were talking about getting baptized.

This lying thing is hard. It hurts relationships and destroys trust. It also takes a lot of work to keep track of them!

Do I think that there is no lying going on in my house?  Not at all, I know how kids are.  The gut reaction for many of my kids is to lie.  However, right now we are at the point where I can honestly say that none of my kids are at the "if they are talking they are lying" stage right now and it sure is nice. We still practice the wait and think before you answer to offset the gut reaction.  We also allow for a rethinking of an answer.  We still consequence for lying. I just don't have to do the consequence for lying near as often as I used to.


  1. Yay for progress. Getting a lot of lying for Kayla about nonsense stuff that it would be easier to tell the truth. What is your normal consequence for lying? I gave Kayla verses to write about honesty.

  2. man o man, my heart goes out to you and these struggles you have with your kids. correcting behaviors can sometimes take forever and ever. glad you all kept at it, so glad to hear it's gotten better!

  3. I am so glad to read this. I've actually prayed for this as I follow your family's journey. I will keep praying!