Sunday, February 16, 2014

The Power of Words

Yesterday Larissa and I were shopping at Walmart. She was sitting in the front of the basket sitting on a big box.  A group of girls walked past and stared at Larissa.  One of those in your face stares that you really can't help but notice.  We get stares all the time and have talked about them at times when it has been so obvious.

Normally it is not a big deal.  Something was different this time.  Shortly after they walked past Larissa but her hat on her head and tried to hide her face in her lap.  It broke my heart to watch that reaction.

I went to her and asked her what was wrong.  She didn't answer.  I asked her if it was the girls that were staring at us.  She said yes.  I asked her why it made her hide herself.

Her response was they were staring because of her nose and she is ugly.  In spite of us telling her that Emma is just being mean and what she says is not true, Larissa has taken it to heart.

She has had black women come up to her and tell her that she has beautiful hair, that she has beautiful skin tone and that she is beautiful.  It doesn't happen as often as with Emma but it is heartfelt when they do.

I whispered to her that the girls didn't think she was ugly, that wasn't why they were staring.  She looked at me with doubt and I told her that those girls were wondering how that white mama had such a beautiful black child.  They were curious and confused, they didn't know about adoption like we do. 

She must have believed me because after a bit she sat back up and took her hat off.  I was happy to see that.  It made me realize that we need to talk more about our unique family with the kids.  It also made me realize that Emma's words are taking root and I need to do something to stop the bullying in my house.


  1. Please tell Larissa that she is beautiful! She does have a beautiful skin tone and I love her hair I always wished for curls but my hair is straight as can be.

  2. Same thing I said yesterday. Larissa is your most beautiful child. Blue eyed blonds don't do it for me :) Especially ones who learn how to work it so young. Rick's daughter was like that.

  3. Tell Larissa that I think she is very beautiful inside and out. When she gets older the boys will be begging to to go out with her because she is so beautiful and they will ask her out on a date before they do Emma because she is so sweet and kind.
    My daughter is a Preschool teacher and has 19 (2 & 3 year olds). Her & my son inlaw are in the process of wanting to adopt after being married for 11 years and can't have children. Whey ask if they had a preference, they said NO. I told my daughter that no matter what color or race this child is; that I will be very proud to let people know that this is my beautiful Grandchild.
    We talk about how the mean things leave a mark, and even if you apologize, there will always be a mark left. It's a good concrete reminder for little ones that we can try to make things better, but once it is said it can't be unsaid. Good luck. Give Larissa a BIG BEAUTIFUL HUG FOR ME!