Many days my daughter is told that she is cute, beautiful, pretty. She is told this just about everwhere she goes. She does have the blue eyes, blond hair, fair skin that actually tans in the summer. However, I would like to buy her a shirt that says "Please don't tell my child she is beautiful, she already know it."
It has become a problem.
Truly, I don't mind that my child knows that she is pretty. What I do mind is that she believes that she is the only pretty child in our home. She cut our last foster child's hair out of jealousy, she also had blue eyes and blond hair. When playing games with her sisters she will not allow them to play the "pretty girl" parts.
She has been caught telling Larissa that she is ugly (over and over) and the other day she put her fingers up to her nose pushing it back while telling Larissa that is how her nose looks. When watching TV if she sees someone who she doesn't consider to be pretty she will say that they are Larissa or Michelle.
We have been cracking down on this. I have a zero tolerance level for this type of behavior. The problem is she is not only hurting her sisters but I worry about her in the long run.
I wonder if she will develop an eating disorder to stay pretty (which also means slim). I would rather she she the positive in herself that is not physical. We have talked and talked about other positive attributes that I consider more important. A cheerful and loving heart, kindness and compassion, generosity and tolerance.
I tell her that physical beauty will fade, it is more important to have a beautiful heart. I would rather that others would say things such as I love how you are sharing, I like how you show kindness, I see you are being patient. That doesn't typically happen so we work on it at home.
I spite of all our talking and consequences for hurtful words nothing has changed. So here I am asking for suggestions. Movie ideas? Book ideas? Different consequence ideas! Anything?
It truly needs to stop. I had an incident today that about brought me to tears and showed me the impact she is having on her sisters. I will post that tomorrow.
In the meantime, suggestions?