The Picture

I don't believe that I have ever posted this picture before.  I have posted a similar one without Joselin's biological mom in it.  Yes, that is Joselin's biological mom in the picture.  She was wearing heels and I was in flats, that explains why Joselin is only 4'9" tall. (I am 5'2", short myself)

We were given the option of whether Joselin could meet her mom before we left or not.  We thought that it would be in Joselin's best interest but we came to regret that decision for a very long time.  On that visit the hogar owner watched very close to make sure that her mom didn't say anything inappropriate to her.  We didn't think that she had but she did.  She was able to whisper to Joselin that she was pregnant.  She also told Joselin to come back when she was 16 and take care of her and to never call me mom.  She also slipped Joselin a cell phone number.

Of course it took years for us to realize all of this.  The first thing to come out was about the pregnancy.  Joselin was so worried because Jopselin took care of her younger brother.  She was really worried about her mom.  We contacted the hogar and they said that wasn't true, that they were supplying her with birth control.  We may never know the truth.

Everything came out over the years.  Joselin felt that she was betraying her mom every time she called me mom.  I thought for sure that she would head back to Guatemala one day but she says she has no interest.  I think that the phone number issue came out last.  Joselin thought that we found it and threw it away.  She was mad at us about that, for years.  Honestly, I never saw the piece of paper.  I have no idea what happened to it.  I think it took her a long time to believe that.

As much as I have regretted that decision because of the pain it caused I also think that it was in Joselin's best interest.  We have lots of pictures of her mom.  Pictures are so valuable and I know that in the future Joselin will treasure having them.  We were also able to get Joselin's true birthday. Her birthdate was the day she was taken to the orphanage and the year was off by 3 years.

I plan on asking Joselin how she feels about that visit.  I know that at times she has wondered if things would have been different if her mom hadn't been able to talk to her.  Now that our relationship is going well I wonder how she feels.