Emma turned 7.......unfortunately for her she chose to cut off all of our foster daughters hair the day before. It really made it hard for me to get into the celebrating spirit. Not only did she take the scissors upstairs with the intent to cut A's hair but then she proceeded to lie about the situation. How did I know she was lying? Well, as I was looking at A's hair in shock Emma started screaming and crying that she didn't do it. Uh, I hadn't even gotten to the point of blaming yet. First we looked for scissors. None. Told me that someone brought them upstairs and then took them downstairs. Another good clue was A pointing at Emma and stating that she cut her hair followed by Anthony claiming that he saw her going upstairs with scissors. Yet through it all Emma was screaming that she didn't do it. This persisted for two days until she finally just admitted to what we all already knew.
I am not sure what is going on with this screaming and crying when guilty. Emma, Michelle and Kassi all do it. Most of the time I know that they are guilty by the degree of their denial.
I believe that Emma cut her hair for a specific reason. I feel it is jealousy but I could be wrong. I do know that many people say that the two look alike, they are both blond, blue eyed. I also know that Emma lost her baby status. I find this reaction interesting because little ones have typically not been a problem before. Either way, this has gained Emma a bedroom in the downstairs closet (that has been the bedroom to several kids), loss of the privilege of going upstairs at all because I don't trust her and a smaller birthday.
Her timing was very bad for her. Given her thought processing I am sure that she didn't think about it.
She did receive one gift and I did chose to give her the one that she had specifically asked for. She also got to go to dinner and had a cake.
Thankfully A is super cute in her pixie cut and her mother was fine with the haircut. Emma is back to less privileges. This seems to be the way things go, one step forward and two steps back. Sometimes it feels as though some of my kids are more comfortable with having less freedoms.
So here we go, stepping forward again.
Oh I hear you. Kayla has been doing really well. I don't over praise her as it causes her to sabotage. But she's been getting more privileges. But now she's back to her old habits--peeing herself, hiding her clothes, lying about it. Last night lying to Rick and saying she had full privileges when in fact she was on room restrict for stubbornness and disobedience! I've stalled on putting her in dance because it requires much better behavior, following rules, not bossing and not peeing yourself. I guess she has made the choice not to take dance again this year. That means she will be very behind if she starts next year in 4th grade because she's only had tumbing and only one year. She's also started being really ugly on the bus talking bad about Jasmine (who rides that bus now and transfers) and writing I hate so and so on the edges of her paper and showing people. She did that Sunday on her church paper and got spanked when Rick saw it. Jealousy because she's lost some of her privileges and Jasmine hasn't?
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Glad the mom was okay with the hair cut. Did you cut Emma's too? That's what we did when a child cut anothers. The cutter got a shorter hair cut than the one whose hair was cut.
Ha, vent away! It gets so frustrating when you want to give your children so much but they aren't ready to receive it. I didn't cut her hair but the thought did cross my mind, I was so mad at her. I did explain that this is a 3 year old foster child and what that means. She is asking to move upstairs already and I tell her no, I don't trust her upstairs.
DeleteMore comfortable with less freedoms. THAT IS SO TRUE! Meghan and Lexi are exactly the same way. Most of their toys are boxed up right now. They each have four small tubs of toys to play with, and they are so much happier than when they have all their toys. There's less fighting, no struggle over clean-up, and generally better attitudes. I think they feel safer with fewer freedoms because they know there are fewer temptations and fewer opportunities to blow it. For kids who came from having no adult supervision at all and having to make all their own choices, I'm sure it feels so secure to be protected...even if it's protecting them from themselves.
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