Sadness

I don't know, maybe you can tell, but I am just plain sad.  I can't seem to shake it.  It is not because of my mission trip although it started during the mission trip.

Sarah is in Italy.  She was so excited about this mission trip.  After years of bullying she had hoped that she would find her place on such a trip.  She gave up her trip to New York with me for her 18th birthday to put the money towards this trip.

While I was in Guatemala she got to make her phone call home from the airport.  John was home to get the call and told me what she said.  She was crying.  She didn't even want to go to Italy.  There is a girl on the team who keeps making sarcastic remarks to her.  The bullying continues, even on a mission trip.  I cried in Guatemala for my daughter with the soft heart.  I couldn't do anything to help her. 

For some reason I can't shake the sadness of my daughter sitting in an airport crying because of a bully.  My husband did contact TMI and received an email from the leader saying that when she talked to Sarah everything seemed fine.  I know Sarah, she wouldn't tell her if there was a problem.  I pray that things changed once they got to Italy and she is doing well.

I received Sarah's last letter from Florida.  She no longer wants to go to the college she was looking at.  She is no longer sure that the mission field is right for her.  She just wants to come home to her family where she is not bullied.

The world is just not the place for a sweet, soft hearted child.

Then this leads me to more sadness.  Foster care and adoption of hurt children can give you a skewed look at life.  I wonder what we are doing to our children as a country.  So many children are hurt before they are even born.  Alcohol and drug use while pregnant harms these children.  Then the same problems, drug and alcohol, impair the parents ability to parent.  This leads to more problems. 
Perhaps the children come into care, with my new girls the 7 moves has caused more damage. 

We are dealing with problems with all of our adopted children that will be lifelong challenges for them.  They will have to deal with the impact of their parents choices all their lives. We just have the tip of the problem in our home.  How many more children are dealing with these challenges?  How many will never receive the help that they need?  How many will grow up and continue the cycle?  What are we doing as a country to stop this?  These children of abuse and neglect become adults. How many of them end up in prison?  On the streets?  Dead?

Yes, today I am sad and I just can't seem to shake it.