Saturday, April 14, 2012

Back to the Beginning

Well, we are back at the beginning.  Dimples has started her tantrums all over.  Yesterday she tantrumed over a time out and today over bedtime. Feels like we have gone back 6 months.

I know it is because of her attachment issues.  I know that she has moved to 7 different homes in the last 2 1/2 years.  I know that she feels that it is time for a move.  I know that she wants to make the decision about the move versus us. 

When she tantrums she repeats over and over that she wants to go to a new home.  A part of me says, so go.  The better part of me says no. 

I can't begin to tell you how hard it is to maintain your composure when a kid is screaming for hours over such minor things.....even when you know that in her mind it is something else. 

She screams and yells so hard and so long that she turns red all over.  Yesterday she finally tired herself out and fell asleep where she was sitting.......after 2 hours. 

She wasn't too pleased since I made her sit in the kitchen with me.  I cooked and she screamed a few feet away from me.  Screaming that she wanted to go, that she wanted a new home, that she wanted to get away from me, for no one to look at her......over and over.  Yes, it takes some patience.

My teens asked me tonight after another fine show of screaming if I was going to have her moved.  They are tired.  We are all tired.  I explained to them the concept of control.  She assumes that she will be moved and wants to control when it happens.  Still, knowing that doesn't help in the middle of a meltdown.

Dimples screaming that she wants a new home doesn't help her sister.  Her sister is well aware of why they have moved to so many different homes.  She has no interest in moving.  The anxiety that she feels when these meltdowns happen is obvious.  She has been lied to by so many adults so it really doesn't matter what we say, it is the staying firm and staying the course that mean the difference.

So, tomorrow Dimples will get to sit next to me at church.  I don't think that she needs to go to Sunday school class right now.  We have our 2 year old back.  I am hoping that this time around there will be a quicker improvement.

So please......Pray for us.  Pray for the girls.


  1. I'm praying, Felicia. This too shall pass. May the passage be quick.

  2. I have one at Sunday school today and one sitting on her floor reading a Bible book instead. Thankfully we don't have the tantrums. Well, only short periods and very obnoxious and sassy behavior. But she can't get past the throwing a major fit at school, laying on the floor dramatically crying if she has to pull a tag.

  3. Hmmmm.... sounds so familiar, only the kiddos don't say they want to leave. I have them sit with me in church, too. We keep them close. This makes me wonder if our big regression in March was actually because that is the month they moved in with us two years ago. I wonder... thanks