I haven't been writing because I don't really know what to write. It isn't that there isn't anything to write about, I just don't know exactly how I should share. Anyone want to know the stress of taking in a family of four? Should I even write about it. It overwhelms our family and house right now.
Life is really complicated right now.
Finances are stretched very tight right now. We now have 14 mouths we are feeding. Grocery shopping happens about every day. I worry about money. Several times a week we are filling up the cars gas tanks. They have a job in Columbia, not close. Since we only have one car to spare that car goes back and forth to town twice a day. Today the car stopped and we aren't sure why. I don't have the extra money for car repairs right now.
Since we cancelled our Alaska trip we decided to put some of that money into our patio. Someone quoted us $3400 to put one in which is way out of our budget so we are doing it on our own. I ordered the wood and it will be delivered next Wednesday. Do we take the money for our planned yard improvements into supporting this family? I have already cut back on what we had planned.
They came with what they could take on the bus. They don't have a car. The boys don't have any toys except for skateboards that they carried. Anthony has enough clothing that we were able to get them dressed pretty well.
It isn't just the finances. It is also the loss of the structure that my kids so need to maintain. No other way to put it, the boys don't respect us or our house. It is a struggle for me because my few plants that I do have coming in are getting destroyed. The rocks that got thrown into the pool made me angry. Every day it is something new.
Yet, we invited them. The boys need stability. I take a deep breath and practice patience every day. I learn humility as I realize how blessed we are. We are working closer to find a balance so that all the kids have the same level of expectations. I try not to worry about money too much and work with what we have.
Yes, life is complicated right now and I am feeling to need to get back to blogging. It is hard when I feel like every post would sound like I am complaining. I don't want to be that way. I would love to be more positive at this time, I am just not feeling it. Perhaps it would help if spring would actually arrive!