Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Foster Care - Temporary?

Foster care is supposed to be temporary. Anthony and Larissa were foster children for 3 years before they got TPR.  Emma and Michelle were pretty close to that too.  I just don't understand this.  It shouldn't take 3 years for the courts to determine that the parents are not able to work their plan. 

I think that if these children were able to be adopted sooner then less damage would be done.  I know that the extended visitation for three years had an impact on Anthony and Larissa's behaviors.  Anthony acted out for 3 years and Larissa developed severe anxiety issues.  Three years of these behaviors makes it harder to change once they are adopted.

With Emma and Michelle long placement in foster care meant many moves.  Seven different homes in a span of a few years caused extreme harm to these girls.  Sometimes I think that they were hurt more by their time in foster care than from their biological family.

When I read about kids coming into care as babies and then aging out of the system 18 years later I feel both angry and sad.  Our system has failed these kids.  They go out into the world without a family. 

The following article is about a child trying to find a family before he ages out.....it shouldn't be that way.

Orphan Pleads for a Family


  1. That article ripped my heart out. I saw it on Facebook this morning and re-posted it. That young man lives just two hours from us, and I've seen his face in the Heart Gallery and prayed for him in the past. Under different circumstances, I'd be calling to inquire about him. Breaks my heart.

  2. I completely agree with your post. We care about parents' rights, but not the child's right to stability, consistency, love, etc..... My youngest was sheltered at birth and took nearly two years, and then another year in foster care until she could move with us to be adopted. In the two years and 3 months before she FINALLY moved with us, she had 5 placements...FIVE, and she is a healthy baby with no special needs, behaviors or anything. And....she is the SIXTH of mom's biochildren to be lost to the system.

    Thankfully, she's doing great and she does not have to move ever again. We have some contact with two of her brothers and their situation would just make you shake your head.....all at the expense of giving birth mom more and more chances. She has addictions, things that are admittedly difficult to change, but again, why does the child have to suffer because of this? So frustrating!

  3. I cried my eyes out reading that article. My husband has mentioned fostering when we get out of the military and I think this article just spoke to me. I can't stand knowing this poor boy has no family to love him.

  4. The biggest issue with foster care!! This should not happen to any child. Very sad.