Michelle returned from Kidzjam. She spent three nights with members of our church having lots of fun. Only problem we are having is it was her type of fun. No, she didn't have a behavior problem. She didn't do anything strange. She simply showed me that it was too soon. She showed me that we aren't as far along in attachment as I thought and she really shouldn't be going away like that.
She got off the bus excited but barely hugged me. I thought that was odd. Then the adults came to me with great stories of her eating abilities. They were praising her massive amounts of eating. She did so much eating that even the tables around them noticed this great feat. All I could do was smile and concur that she can eat a lot. Inside I was wincing. Overeating was a big issue for her when she came to our home. We thought that we had gotten portion sizing to an appropriate amount. Now I see that she will overeat for the attention.
Then within minutes of being home the tears came. She was crying for the adult chaperone that was in her room. That was Friday, she is still crying for her adult chaperone today (Sunday). She hasn't mentioned a single kid and only told me stories after I prompted for them. She talks about other activities the church plans on doing this summer. I think we have a zoo or beach day planned for that day (whenever it is). Michelle will not be going on any activity without family for quite a while.
I look at the pictures from camp and realize that she was never with her peers. She was either with adults or much older children or teens. Yesterday she didn't want to play with her siblings. I had to force the issue. I think that we have gone backwards and I know that I have myself to blame. I really thought that she was ready.
She is already talking about going back next year. Next year we will have 3 kids old enough to go. That would cost $600. I do believe that no one will be going next year. Instead we will take that money and will be staying in a cabin in NC with family. Attachment will happen with mom and dad, not the chaperone.